Dating thread 76

[LoisPuddingLane]

As we were saying...

Folk you are so articulate and sound so in the right place. Your head really is screwed on the right way. I really hope your brother can stop and see the bigger picture I really do

Folk, I think you've a very clear understanding of things at least. One thing I've realised is that sometimes, it gets to a point when you can't control what another person does, you can only control your reaction. So I guess if your brother won't back down, you've a clear understanding of his issues and maybe that'll help with your frustration.

Mari, I think I like being single because it's better than being completely heartbroken and distraught, which is where I was not so long ago. I have great friends, occasional male company and beautiful children. It's going to take a wonderful man to make me risk getting my heart broken again.

Yes Dontca being single is definitely much better than being unhappy in a relationship & I certainly felt that a while back....

I don't think I've ever really had a great relationship. Obviously not, or I'd still be in it. Maybe it'll happen, maybe it won't - but I can't live my life desperately striving for a pipe dream. Women live longer than
men, so chances are I'd end up alone at some point anyway.

Mini and dont To be honest, I'm not expecting him to back down.

Part of the problem is that we haven't even been issued with a proper invitation. So I don't know where it it, exactly, or at what time at all. He issued a 'save the date' invitation. So it could be 10am - 12pm or it could be 'lunchtime to teatime' or it could be 'start at 3 until whenever..." largely because these are babies and toddlers and the party is more for the adults' benefit.

I don't mean in that there will be alcohol or anything, because there won't, just that the children are too young to undersatnd what's happening. There won't be party games or anything...

So I can't even arrange with my boyfriend to stay until 2pm or something.

Given that it's also my exH's weekend to have the children and he's already said the children can come home early to attend (although we don't know how early), it feels like my brother is expecting a lot...

saving the whole day for a 2 hour party
children missing out on a day with their dad (albeit spending it with their uncle)
mine and my boyfriend's weekend is also impacted upon...

In fact, my brother quite often calls the shots and gets very angry if anyone resists.

So on that basis, if my boyfriend wants to spend the day with me, I shall be telling my brother that I wasn't seeking his permission, but that I was informing him as a courtesy. After all it's a picnic in the park with lots of their friends. Is it really going to matter if I take a friend with me...?

Dont- control the controllable, I like it.

I think u have to do what's right for you folk and to me it sounds like taking your bf if that fits with timing etc.

Folk, it sounds like you've come along way in the last 8 months. I think you should keep going, your brother needs to understand you are in a relationship and come as a package. Don't let your brother have it all his own way, family is important but its a two way street.

Don't- happily single is the best way to be, I would like to meet someone but know that I can cope on my own and don't need a bf just sometimes want one. Hence my fussiness with old.

Hi all.

Went on first date yesterday. Looked much older than his photo. Pleasant enough but no attraction whatsoever. Don't want to see him again. He has messaged me already this morning asking for 2nd date - please help me with the reply.......

Wishyouwould - Just don't be ambiguous with your reply. Tell him you don't think you're suited and wish him luck.

Thanks neil had such high hopes too. Had been chatting for a while and his photo looked really attractive. How are things going for you?

Wish, just be honest and tell him you had a good time but didn't feel any chemistry between the two of you.
I had a couple of dates with a guy and felt the same as you. He wasn't heartbroken when I told him I didn't want a third date and I'd been worrying about what to say.

I'm going on holiday next week but when I get back, I'll probably start dating again but I doubt it'll be OD. I just don't like the sweet shop mentality of it all.

Thanks Milly yes I'm sure he'll survive

Have a lovely holiday neiljames

Thanks Minime.

So we and tallhairy were meant to meet up again today for drinks/worldcup

This morning he says he doesn't feel like drinks as he's been drinking too much and would rather just sit and watch the world cup with me at a nice place outside (nice weather)

So while I'm sitting getting ready for that and I say I wont be long he replies "no problem my (female) friend cuntlips is coming out with us"

:S Feel slightly upset (pms) and unsure if I want to go now.

He cancelled last night (unavoidable - work happened, we spoke on the phone on his way home and while he was in bed) and that really affected me (I didn't let on) because of what exDP used to do to me. :( Build me up for something nice, let me spend hours getting ready, and then break up with me or cancel at last minute... used to crush me. :(

avianaz I think that would annoy me too - how many dates in is this? It's a bit much that a female friend is tagging along. The friend should also be thinking '3's a crowd'.

Maybe she'll disappear eventually!

I have a date tomorrow with a guy local to me, literally 10 minutes away! He seems nice, so far! The proof will be in the pudding! But law of averages sates it will be pants!!!

states grrr

Sorry forgot to say - before he said about the other girl he changed plans again saying "meet me at [bar]" !!

For some reason I am so on fucking edge with this! :( I could take him or leave him but is he being a cunt, or is my pms

Tbh I think how I felt about him changed when last night on the bus, he was bothered by the people on it
I said Awk just listen in and analyse them if they're being loud and he said "Dosnt take much to analyse them chavs who had an abortion and sleep with anyone"

I slept with him first night I met him and although he doesn't know it, had an abortion. :(

Again maybe just pms... I have a similar style of humour sometimes where I'd be deliberately stupid/tactless if you get me.

^exactly, and this is our second date! Well second time meeting, this doesn't feel anything like dating.

What's wrong with this girl or what has she been told? S:

10 minutes away? Jaysus, fingers crossed he's fine! What plans have you?

2nd date!!!! Oooo no! He should still be trying to impress/woo you! This is waaaay too casual!

My date, we are meeting at a really nice bar. He's tall (6'3" - ideal for me) and works as a manager on the railways, he has hair!!! and looks really nice in his pics. 2 kids aged 20 & 16.

We shall see.....!!

Hope dates go well ladies. I've seen mr pof every day this week with my dcs now rest of this week and very busy so only time for a quick cuppa possibly and then away week after so if he is still interested after that (of which I'm extremely hopeful) maybe I'm on to someone worth keeping.

Ooh, I don't like the sound of him, Avianz. I wouldn't like to be going on a second date if he was bringing female friend and he sounds like he might be a bit annoying with his chop-changing plans...

That sounds great, Minime85, how lovely.

NeilJames how will you meet women if you don't do online dating? Through work/chatting to them when out? I like that straight-forwardness about men - I just wouldn't be confident enough to go up and chat to a man like I liked the look of. I talk quite a lot to everyone else but not fanciable men!

knittedknickers - I'm just going to become more ruthless. I'm going to turn down the inappropriate women and just ask out the women I really like.
I'm in my 40's and I'm not messing about anymore!!
I've got shit to sort out.

Thanks knitted I hope so

Avian that does sound a bit strange to bring someone else along on a date