Dating thread 76

[LoisPuddingLane]

As we were saying...

That's lovely steelchic. I guess grey hair could be nice in a George Clooney way.

I'm chatting to a guy on match, we''ll call him Mr sensible. Sadly he appears to be too, well, sensible. He said that as he's over 30 he likes a quiet weekend. I'm not ready to be put out to pasture just yet! Shame, as he's a quantity surveyor and I find that a very sexy profession. They wear a suit and a hard hat.

I always wanted to be a quantity surveyor! or perhaps it was because I liked men in suits and hard hats. A friend of mine did physics at uni, he said the real geeks were engineers.

I quite like grey hair, can be very attractive in a sort of distinguished way.

Steelchic, its nice to have your judgement validated, and you can never have too many friends.

Thanks don't an lbm I feel happy and sad honestly such a lovely heartfelt email I've never had any guy open up about his feelings like that, I always seem to go for the mean moody ones but no more ! Story of my life though don't know what I've got till its gone (part of me hopes he feels the same about me and that things don't work out with his old flame) but that probably won't happen he must have thought things out before choosing her :(
Yip agree with Don't ... George Clooney

I'm glad he sent you such a nice message steel chic and hope it hasn't made it too much harder for you. It must be bittersweet.

Hmm - maybe I should give Mr Sensible a chance? I could bring out his shadow wild side?

I just ditched someone else for writing the words 'goodo' at the end of a text. I can't have any kind of relations with someone who thinks 'goodo' is a legitimate word. He also sent me little text hearts

Does anyone here think it's possible to build an emotional connection with someone you've never actually met, or even spoken to on the phone? It didn't used to think so, but something's got me wondering.

It's weird isn't it, dont? I would never really have thought so before but the guy I had a much-awaited date with on Sunday had been wooing me with words for a couple of weeks beforehand and I liked it ever so much. I do write for a living so he was onto a winner... When I met him it was actually a massive anti-climax (mind you, he did wear lemon trousers and he hadn't warned me about that during his pre-date shenanigans). I do think you can sometimes feel a connection, though, and that often depends on whether you're both arsed enough to make an effort to email, text, even eek, speak before meeting. I think Mr lemon trousers was trying to 'sext' me last night and that wasn't quite as likeable. I fell asleep during it and he was annoyed. I don't think I'm going to bother with a second date (even if he wanted to).

I say give Mr Sensible a chance - he may be a right tiger.

dont, I met my exh when he sent me a text message by accident... We sent texts and spoke on the phone for 3 months before we met, never even swapped photos. By the time we actually met, I definitely loved him. So yes, I think it's very possible.

Ok, well, I do have that with someone. I'll call him Poet guy. Yesterday he told me something about myself that no one else could've known. He just got me. I said 'you understand me.' He said 'I don't just understand you. I know you.' But yeah, the lemon trousers thing...that's my fear. I'd hate it to come to nothing.

Minime, thank you yeah it probably has made it harder in a way, maybe it would be better if he was a shit

Talisa how romatic meeting your exh like that, I live in hope of that happening to me now

Knitted -Lemon trousers oh dear :(

Dont - I think it is possible to build up a connection with someone you haven't met. With my ex, there was something there from the start, didn't fancy him, he had loads of baggage, but there was something that I've never had with anyone else.
I've been chatting to a couple of guys on line, sort of arranged to go for a coffee with one. He looks ok, Mr Fire Fighter at least he can spell and no text speak. My hearts not in it but I'm fed up moping about thinking about what could have been. I need to force myself to move on x

Don't I think you can build a connection too. I think it's better to meet sooner rather than later as like knitted said it can be an anti climax otherwise. Mr pof and I chatted for over a week everyday by text and I knew if nothing else we would be great friends. He wasn't pushy or particularly flirty. I wondered if he actually just wanted to be friends as he is new to area etc. In end by date 2, which was just lunch in my lunch break I was literally swooning. I think u need to meet me sensible and poet guy

I've just re read Mr Fire Fighters profile, he's only 37 and I'm 51 so going to message him and say no to coffee, no wonder I thought he looked good for his age (I thought he was 47 ) :( x

I've been chatting to Mr Poet for three months. We send each other songs, snippets of writing, photos. He's a fellow insomniac so we're often on whatsapp until one of us falls asleep (usually me). But it's so lovely as it is, I think why spoil it? I'd never dislike him though, even if we weren't attracted to one another. We are fundamentally very similar.

I messaged Mr Sensible back. I told him that I also enjoy a bit of quiet but in moderation .

Let's hope I don't end up back in the match.com compound in my dreams tonight...

Just got a charming message: 'dont I am a gentleman, but I absolutely would and I'd make you dinner afterwards.'
Hmm. Maybe not. I tend to prefer it the other way round.

Don't

I've done that whole connection thing. It was one of my first internet dates and we couldn't meet up for three weeks so we e-mailed and then texted and we flirted and we made each other laugh and we fell a little bit in e-love and we talked of the hot sexy nights we'd have together and he was soooo very witty, charming and funny.

I honestly thought we'd be a match made in heaven. When we finally met he was nothing like the 15 photos I'd seen, he was not remotely attractive, his sense of style was totally lacking and his wit did not translate into real life. He must have spent ages thinking up the quips and puns he'd sent me. I like a guy who can banter for GB and he could not. After the second drink I had to tell him he was not my type and apologise profusely for leading him on. I'm just grateful he had no clue where I lived. My strict rule since then is to avoid sexting too much e-mailing and be quick to meet.

That's what I fear, before. I don't sext though, ever. It's not natural to me.

I'm at a friend's barbecue on Saturday. I have a strange feeling I'll meet the person I'm meant to be with in real life. Maybe it'll be there.

Oh god I think I've had a lucky escape and thankfully I didn't give out my mobile number. I sent young Mr Fire Fighter a message saying sorry you're too young and I hope you meet someone nice. I've now been bombarded with messages saying he wants us to meet , he's gutted etc. I think he's a tad unstable x

U never know Don't. Are there plenty of single guys going?

Before wow that must have been strange...didn't look like any of his pics. Mind you saying that, the guys I've not particularly liked their pics that much I really liked when I met them....it's very much about mannerisms too which attract you to someone

Hello all. I've been having a few days off thinking about dating. Went out with some friends for an impromptu drink last night and while I was out got a message from a guy I had been chatting to on POF. With a little Dutch courage in me I asked him for a date! So... Tomorrow night it is! Haven't thought of a name for him yet... Let's see how tomorrow goes!!

Pink, he took a good photo. On the other hand I'm the opposite, a good photo of me is rare so guys seem to be relieved delighted when they meet me. I was gutted though, I thought I'd sussed out this dating lark as he was so funny in writing. He was D shaped in real life - you know one of those huge stomachs that you can't see from behind but it has a presence all of its own - just not my bag. He had a seriously good job that one associates with gravitas by the bucketful but he had none of that at all either. It was a real lesson in expectation vs reality. Maybe I just have a really active imagination.

In current dating news I did not renew my Match subscription. I found it a truly dreadful site. I'd clearly written to one guy who was not a member and a week later he e-mailed me to say sorry for the delay in replying but he'd only just joined. He'd obviously updated his photos on joining and sadly he wasn't for me so I had to send the "I hope you didn't subscribe because of me" message. That was a new one. I'm in London and I thought the men available on Match were just grim... Every time I saw a fish I just laughed and thought of you lot!

POF definitely has more eye-candy. I contacted one and we chatted on the phone and agreed we'd meet once he was back from a trip but I wasn't terribly enthused and, I guess, nor was he, as neither of us have taken the initiative since.

I contacted another one last night and he replied with "I'll risk it". So he can fuck off then. To put this in context I always keep my photo private on POF but he could have written a bit more.

I think my jaded mindset and general 'meh-ness' is coming through in my writing. I'm normally quite successful, even without a pic being shown at first contact.

Ooh, I might join POF if there's lots of male 'eye candy'....I'm in the NW though, do you think they spread themselves across the UK or just stick to London?

I've just seen Shane Warne on Tinder. I may just swipe right for the hell of it...

I think pof is much better than match.

Tinder is just hilarious for the swipe factor alone everyone who needs a giggle should do it

Maybe I should go back to POF then? I met the love on my life so far on there, so...