Dating thread 76

[LoisPuddingLane]

As we were saying...

I'll go coz I'm scared and I need to do things that scare me or I'm never going tp be brave enough to go to real world I've hidden long enough

Hmmm.......... I'm just reading between the lines and I hope I'm wrong with what I think.

I'm fussy. I won't date an overweight man, or one who is shorter than 5'10 (and that really is a minimum) or one who can't spell etc etc. Then I also have to have amazing chemistry with them.

I found 6'3 athletic and well groomed Geeky who could spell perfectly and who I had the most incredible chemistry with. Hopefully I'll find another one like him

What u think then

I think he sounds like he's toying with a nice woman who he knows likes him, Jesy. Maybe he's got his own insecurities. I understand the need to drag yourself out of your comfort zone but do it in a different way. Hope I don't sound patronizing, I don't mean to and i'm not in a position to be (wish I hadn't bothered meeting the man who got me in a hideous, awkward clinch in Warrington M&S on Sunday, I think....) and it's easy to give other people advice and not take it yourself, I know I'm guilty of that. I just think you sound like you still want to get together with Mr IT and he sounds like he's not good enough.

I'll hardly see him a few hours on coach both way and tjat be it I don't plan to go into the park just to beach for day

Jesy, I don't doubt he is nice and caring, but he has his own issues that mean he will not commit. This could be because he was hurt or it could be because although he likes you, he will never commit because for him, you are not the "one". If you can accept that, get over any romantic feelings towards him, stay strong, keep it friends only and make sure it doesn't hurt you, then fine. But if you are always secretly wishing it could be more than friends, one of two things will happen, he will take advantage and you'll be hurt again, or he will never come onto you again and you will still feel hurt. I know its tough but just be careful.

I too couldn't date a man who was overweight. I'm not being discriminatory I just wouldn't find it attractive. This hasn't happened to me, thankfully. I don't think I would hang around to wait for his diet to work either.

I'm still seeing Mr Contradiction, all is good. I think I love him. Communication is sporadic at times but then other days its all day texting. I know more about him and understand that he has insecurities, heaven only knows why because he's the bees knees no serious talk about "us" or where this is headed but I am just enjoying the here and now, can't say I don't think about what the future might be but I can't bring myself to speak about it.

mouse I'm not waiting around for him to lose weight! Goodness knows how he will run 10k and he only has 2 months to lose quite a lot of weight!

I'm not really looking seriously to date but I am still on Tinder! Out of boredom mainly!

I'm having cosmetic dentistry to cheer myself up.

Jesy I agree with the others. Just be wary. Men usually have an agenda, however nice they are.

I won't let him hurt me he did once but I won't let him again

I'd been saying to u all about a guy who was pushing me into a meet well told him to basically do one every day it was same when meeting ect. I mean who want to meet straight from work when hot n smelly and all tired after rushing around for ten hours with out a break
I liked him but I can't deal with that he said what about sat I said I was going out and he asked all girls then n got funny when I said no mainly men one or two other girls and he got funny that got to be a warning sign ???

Just following the chubby debate, though, I quite like a bit of extra flesh on a man (obviously a few stone overweight too much though). I'd rather a bit fleshy than sleek and ultra-toned on a man because that would generally lead me to think he was a bit of a body-nazi and I wouldn't want him to see me naked for fear of being disapproved of.

jesy I hate to say it, but I think I agree with the others. I've no doubt, either, that he's being nice and caring, but I think he's probably doing it for his benefit rather than yours.

jesy sorry, just to clarify, I think that behaving the way he is doing towards you is probably meeting needs he has rather than him being thoughtful and trying to meet your needs. Because actually, you need him to leave you alone, even if you don't realise it.

This isn't the first time you've hoped to gain a friend in a man who's let you down. These aren't the people I'd be looking to for friendship, to be honest...

Jesy, yes jealousy is not good. The guy sounds very pushy.

knittedknickers, good point. I can't say I like men who are muscle bound, often implies empty headedness!

I'm going sat I've bought new shoes lol
I just want it as a day out I can sit on beach on my own or wander round the park I'll be fine

Go, Jesy, if you really want to. I just worry he's stopping you from moving on.

Why do you want to go if you think you'll spend the day alone though? I'm confused

I agree, I wouldn't want to go to be alone. Sounds utterly miserable to me. You say he's nice, but he doesn't seem that nice?

Had a nightmare last night that I was trapped in a match.com compound and had to be smuggled out under a blanket by the police. It was terrifying. I had to put all the lights on when I woke up.

A match.com compound? God that does sound scary! Wonder what the symbolism of that is ?!

I agree jesy, i wouldn't be going. Is it helping you in the long run move forward?

Having such a lovely time with mr pof hope it stays that way. Going out for the day to an event on Saturday.

Oh it was awful, minime. There were cells with bunkbeds and an old bloke called Dave who kept trying to cuddle me. I had to prise myself away and secretly call the police before I was trapped forever...

Have a lovely time on Saturday!

Well I hadn't heard from my Ex and I was starting to think all the talk of caring for me and keeping in touch as friends was all bull shit. So in a moment of weakness I gave in and sent him an email, just casual saying I hope he was happy told him I'd had a rough few weeks getting things sorted in my head but now I'm fine etc etc.
So I get a long and lovely email back, saying he is glad I got in touch, he has been thinking a lot about me and feels so bad that he hurt me. He said although neither of us used the L word, he knows we had deep feelings for each other and that he will always have these feelings for me no matter what.Such a lovely email brought a tear to my eye.
So I have mixed feelings, I'm glad we're in touch and I'm glad my judgement of him was true, he did genuinely feel for me. I think if he had ignored my email I would just be doubting my judgement of men in general. We can now go on as friends, but I'm sad about what might have been if this woman from his past didn't re appear x

Quick question - when a man says his hair is 'salt and pepper' on his profile - does that mean a tiny smattering of grey here and there? If they are just full-blown GREY haired, are they allowed to call it that, strictly speaking?

Greying but not fully grey.

I always understood salt and pepper to be mostly brown with a bit of grey. However - my DP is almost completely grey, and he's really attractive (honestly!), so don't write the grey-haired ones off yet!

No, agreed - grey hair is verr attractive on some men. I met a man yesterday who had referred to himself as having the afore-mentioned 's & p' but on actual real-life meeting, was definitely fully-fledged grey. I don't have a problem with it, just that he was blondish in the pic. I wouldn't have refused to meet him if I'd known. I hadn't appreciated though quite how full, waffly and coiffured it was. I did imagine myself trying to run my fingers through it in an erotic moment and things falling out of it, it was so full.

Obviously my hair has not a strand of grey in it and i have never used hair dye......