Dating thread 76

[LoisPuddingLane]

As we were saying...

jesy I had my first date with my BF 5 days after his first message. Lots of texts and a few phone calls in between though.

Maybe he is wary of chatting too long before meeting in person. It is easy to build up an image of a perfect person that way. Or maybe he has chatted with people before who never agree to meet up. The pen pals of the OLD world.

He said he concerned tjat. I'll meet someone else I'm chatting to him n one other this guy is nice and local but I get a bit panicky it's to full on
I'm not used to it x

Go at the pace you're happy with jesy.

See mine is 85 but I'm not 29 I'm 37 bit the 8 and 5 were my kids ages at the time I joined this site!

Yes cani, seeing him again tomorrow.

Yeah, I'm 47. The 77 comes from a football site I used to post on. I wanted to drop the number but don't know how.

Got my first "would u lyk to make sum easy money xx"
"I dont kiss and tell"

ergh :S

I was asked if I'd pay for a foot massage in one message.Bizarre

Sorry as in I would be paid if I let someone massage my feet!

Just wanted to share - was on Pof earlier in the year and met a shed load number of men for first dates - all undesirable.

But this time around I've hidden my profile (no charge) and I do the choosing. I've sent about 30 cheery messages (all the same) to those who meet my criteria (height, location, non fish picture etc) and about half message back. From the 30, after weeding out the unsuitables, I've had dates with 2 gorgeous men.

So much better than being out there in the public domain and waiting to be chosen . I know it sounds calculating and businesslike, but its worked for me and feels so much more enpowering.

It sounds good to me maybe I should be more ruthless
This guy I been texting is still being a bit to pushy for a meet and has a child which I'm wary of as my ex had a child and I still miss her

Against advice I'm going to the BBQ mainly as a text off mural friend asked me , I don't get to go out often but will go for an hour or so , it's well n truly over between mr it and me but he a good mate.

You're making a mistake jesy. Why don't you go somewhere else instead? I think you're fooling yourself - you want to go because Mr IT is going to be there.

If I do something else I'll be on my own again all day, he is taking the girl he seeing so I know he moved on.
I spend all week with minimal adult company I'm fed up n lonley
There about 40 ppl going so I doubt I'll even see him

So you're happy to go there and see him with his new one? That would do my head in. I'd rather stay at home.

Good morning all,
I'm so fed up and I haven't heard from my x so time to move on so I've decided to give POF a try. I keep getting messages from guys that just aren't my type. I did answer at first not wanting to be rude but then it just leases to messages back and forward with people I have no intentions of ever dating. I mean they put no effort into the message, things like "hi" and the latest one I've had "good morning Am Jim" not even I'm Jim . I feel like messaging back something like "good for you" ffs so what is the norm do I answer and say not interested or do I ignore. I'm getting bombarded, when I was on Match I didn't get that many messages but the ones I did all seemed to be quite nice :( x

Jesy, I agree with Talisa, it would also do my head in why put yourself through that

Ignore the ones that you're not interested in and that just say hi. I do reply though to the ones that have read my profile and say thanks but not my type.

Jesy, don't go. You'll hate it. It's way too soon. Join meet up, there's always something to do.

Yeah I am happy to see him with her
We didn't work out and yeah I'm hurt but I know for a fact tjat with out him I'd be with a depressed alcoholic who let's face it it would have been shagging down back lanes never spending anytime at home doing normal couple stuff and being hidden away from his family like a dirty secret .
So I had three months of nice times and amazing sex and gained a good mate

Sorry pressed to soon
Yeah he a player and good luck to her but other ppl I met thru him have asked if I'm going
So I'm going I don't get asked to stuff often plus prime example is next week was asked out for lunch and wen I said can I bring the child I look after who is well behaved esp around food I got a I suppose so even tho I know one girl is bringing her 3 year old twins plus a baby

Hi all - I've got a date tomorrow and he has been over the top telling me how he's looking forward to it, feels a 'connection' etc. Yet he's spent the last hour or so on the dating site (I know i have as well but only because i'm checking to see if he's still on because it's making me feel insecure!!) I'm getting the definite vibes he's a total player. I know it's OK for him to be on the site, particularly as we haven't even met yet, but the issue for me is that he's so 'Oh I think we're going to have something special' etc etc. Am I dealing with a tricky customer/knob here do you suspect??

I'm sorry, *steelchic', but "Good morning, am Jim" has had me chuckling all afternoon!

knitted He sounds like a bit of a knob to me. I think some men really buy into the idea that women are all romantic saps and that they can do what they like, as long as they tell us that they love us or that they feel a 'connection' or that they 'sense this is something special'...

You're right, there's nothing wrong with him being on the site still, largely because you haven't met and neither of you should be putting all your eggs in one basket, but at the same time, he shouldn't be saying stuff that is quite clearly not true. How can you feel a connection with someone you don't know!

jesy I sometimes feel like I recognise a bit of myself in your posts. I wonder how much of your being 'ok' with seeing your ex with someone new is because you are starting to build a wall around your emotions, or denying your own feelings.

Knitted I'd still meet him but use your gut too. Is it that he is really keen and saying what he thinks u want to hear or is it player/desperation. Only meeting and meeting for a few dates will give u a better feeling about him or make u run for the hills. When are u meeting? Is it today for coffee?

Yes, thanks both of you - I have just looked and he is on again already! He must be after someone else/lots of women so obv fine but it just feels like shit that he's pretended to be so dying to meet me. Meeting him today so will just have to treat it as it is - a coffee with a stranger (and try not to be paranoid about the fact that he's obviously lining up other women at same time) x

Are you sure you still want to meet him, knitted.

It's the lack of sincerity that would put me off, to be honest. No one likes the idea of the person they're meeting still looking around, but it's the nature of the game and we all put it to the back of our mind.

But there's just something a bit disingenuous about being so effusive with someone you haven't met and then getting straight back onto the website to arrange more dates and, presumably, make similar declarations.

I suppose, if you're going to be at a loose end otherwise, then it's an afternoon out... but in terms of could a relationship come from this? I'd think not.

I think it's ok he is still on line at this stage as should u be, still having a look what is out there.

I'm not saying I find it easy at all! I had seen mr pof a couple of times and chatted to him for ages before we organised a drink in the end the hint I dropped was so big it was ridiculous. I did keep going on to see if he was on too (and he sometimes was sometimes not) but equally I was chatting to others too. I put all my eggs in one basket first time I tried OLD and wish I hadn't.