Dating thread 76

[LoisPuddingLane]

As we were saying...

And yes to summer dress blossom x

Blossom I agree with Mini - go for the summer dress!

Do you think it would be weird if I asked him if he wanted to go for a drink with a group of mutual friends? I'm really not sure there is the conversation for just the two of us and we might both relax a bit and just chat more naturally if we were in a group.

Thanks just getting ready now, meeting 7.30 will update later.
Have fun all

I think I'd be thinking you wanted to be friends and nothing more. That's what I'd think anyway. I probably think too much. I think.

tri I've used that Times site. I got hardly any interest -despite being fuckin' gorgeous. There's not so much traffic as POF etc and I found the only men interested in me were 10 years older. Full of entitled tossers

Hello I'm new to the dating thread and new to OLD.

Last weekend I signed up to Eharmony but haven't yet paid a subscription. I'm receiving 3-4 emails a day telling me that guys want to start guided communication. I'm going on holiday soon so will wait to start subscription when I get back.

What is the best way to approach things? How do I choose which of these to respond to - do you just get a feel from the photo and profile that they might be someone you'd like?

I also want to try a regular dating site but not sure whether to try Guardian Soulmates or Match. I live in London.

Ps. I only broke up with my ex three and a half months ago but don't want to hurry into anything. More so I'd like the experience of dating a number of guys and finding out what I want/need from a LTR.

I just had a first date with mr plumber. He was really nice guy, liked his eyes. Waffled a bit but could have been nerves......

....still thinking about my ex tho.

Also, anyone believe in that pheromone thing? When he kissed me goodbye I got a whiff of his like erm smell. Wasn't sweat or anything just personal smell. Isn't that supposed to mean we not suited??

Did you like the smell or not?
That could also have been nerves!!!!

I think the smell thing is that you're attracted to someone specifically because of their smell and others that you're not attracted to, that's just because you're not attracted to their smell. I mean, I'm not actually a scientist so I might have that wrong...

No I don't think I was, my ex who I was crazy about didn't have a smell at all....just his aftershave and same with my ex hubby

He perhaps didn't have time to shower although like I said it wasn't a sweaty smell

I don't think I've ever noticed anyones pheromone smell.

Oh god I have lots of times! On women not just men too...

I've definitely noticed the pheromone smell, but not as an obvious smell thing... It's that scent on a pillow or t-shirt or whatever, that suddenly makes you think of them - and later you might realise that it is the smell of them (not in a bad smelly way, almost like an comforting thing).

Yes Bigbird I liked to sleep with my ex bf's t-shirt

Bigbird - can I ask you about that man you met after he faffed around for ages and seemed to be putting off confirming a date with you? Did yo ask him about that when you met him? I have had the same thing with a guy on Match (and we are now meeting on Sunday but only after I threw my toys out of the pram a bit!!) - he kept saying how he wanted to meet me but then seemed loathe to actually be pinned down. NeilJames gave me same advice as you which worked (thanks, NeilJames) but wonder if these 'types' even realize they are being evasive or whatever...

all thanks perhaps will steer clear of Times site. I have quite a senior job and would be good to find someone similar professional career etc...not sure which sites are best for that??

Have you looked at Guardian Soulmates, Triathlonmum?

knitted I didn't challenge him about it, but it was pretty obvious when we met that he was just really nervous (poor guy was actually shaking to start with), so I put it down to that.

I do tend to try and give people the benefit of the doubt though...

Ah, that would probably explain it. God, I must remember that some men are nervous/lacking in confidence too sometimes!

knitted yes thanks! that's one option... But find the men on there typical Guardian readers if you like so lots of creative types (which I am not!!).. Just wondered if there were niche sites which would help avoid some of the sifting though.... It is a mystery why I get so many messages from men 20 yrs younget than me (am early 40s), not really what I am looking for !!

I get exactly the same..I don't think men would be complaining about it. I get loads of winks from men in their 20's - maybe they're being 'ironic'!

Ironic or just very bored!?! Can't help thinking they should be out having fun instead of stalking older women online......

I've had two 24 yr olds not take no I'm too old for you for an answer and reply anyway.

Brilliant date with pof! Kissing in McDonald's car park like teenagers!

The messages I had from the younger ones on POF were split between those that were clearly after a ONS and those that wrote a long essay on how they were looking for true love.

Although I had some dodgy poetry from some of the older ones too!