Sex on a first date? OK or not OK?

[SoleSource]

Yes, I'll follow my gut instinct if I meet this man I have been chatting to online for the last six months, but I feel that I might sleep with him, as I have been celibate for so long.

Is it outdated to feel that I shouldn't sleep with him as it isn't the tradiitional way to behave?

No idea really if we will want to sleep with each other after we meet in reality.

Just want you views on this please.

I think the US have got it right, they have these "bases" level... and it does not have to mean sex asap. Hand holdings, foreplay... etc.. and the momentum can only be built up. You learn trust about one another, and knowing how to fit two bodies together ! A man has a brain and he has to use it the right way.

I think the opposite Tink, I think that boys (and girls) should be taught to be confident, say what they mean, listen to what their partner is telling them and be considerate, safe and responsible.

I agree that confidence is tantamount but we do have differences as in boy/girl and our areas of confidence are not the same. I have seen girls in particular getting this very wrong and thinking arrogance is confidence, which it is not. So there is a big need to tell the girls now that they should not match this. Don't think you can drink like a fish, don't think that you can have sex without emotion. We are different and be proud that we are. I work with teens.

And to all those people that say I shagged my husband on the first date... really lucky you, do not encourage this because I pick up the pieces every day where its not the case. I try so hard to teach the boys to have respect for themselves not to "shag" and run...

I agree with SolidGoldBrass.

If you want to have sex, It's your body, go for it, have fun and be safe. Who cares what other people think is right or wrong.

I personally wouldn't, but that's no judgement on those who do, I just tend to get a bit neurotic about sex if I do it too soon, my issue nobody else's :)

I shagged dh really soon on very young, but shagged plenty of others before hand, and would do it again. If you enjoy it do it, you only life once.

Totally agree with dionne. I definitely didnt want to lose mine to anyone serious its not what you want to do when you start out. Those days are some of the best of your life.

Jesus wept. This thread. And people say we don't need feminism any more

And as for the pseudo-evolutionary biology bollocks that some posters are coming out with... Fuck me.

But not on the first date obviously, because it's not natural

I think its a shame some women cant enjoy sex they just see it as a means to have a relationship with a man. Im all for marriage if you want it as I got married when I was young myself, but I wouldnt trade all those learning and fun experiences with various people that I had beforehand as they are the ones where you learn your turn ons, ways to orgasm and try out different things with different people etc. Shagging around and being in a relationship are both great as long as you only do what you want to di.

I would very much enjoy the possibility of shagging someone on a first date again.

The things I would do

I teach my son that its not "fun" for the girl no matter what she says

Wait...what?

Can you elaborate a bit, tink? I'm really struggling to understand how this could ever be seen as helpful or healthy.

It's not for me personally. Not because I'm anti feminism ( so not) or think its dirty but just because it has never felt right for me. I just preferred to get to know them a lot more first.

Don't judge anyone else for doing it though.

Over the years any female I had sex with on the first date whilst usually drunk I could never be bothered seeing them again....Nothing at all anything wrong with the female but something in my head just made me act this way....The mystery and the chase was virtually non existent before the sex.i think its so important to build this up if u really like someone before jumping straight in the sack....even though you might be dieing for it so to speak.

Anyway one previous long term girlfriend played it cool for a couple of months....we dated and she only ever let me see her once or twice per week and no sex....Drove me absolute wild with desire am interest and it really built up my feelings for her in a huge way.

When we finally did the deed it was way better than some pissed up first night shag....

I'm in two casual relationships at the moment, neither of whom I slept with on the first date. I know what kind of things make me feel less than great from experience, so I don't shag when the other person has to leave straight after, for example. Nowt wrong with sex on the first date, I just prefer it less now I'm older.

Hope it goes well Sole.

Hang on. Sex isn't fun for women?

I teach my son that its not "fun" for the girl no matter what she says, i may be wrong in this but I don't think so. I teach my son that sex is not a "light" thing to enter into. As a woman, i feel tha

Yes, coerced "not fun" for her sex is the best kind of sex.

Honestly, some of the shite some of you are coming out with make it sounds like men only want women they basically have to rape.

Do you really have such a low opinion of men?

Wow normalbloke. So you also only like fucking women who aren't interested in fucking you?

Nothing weird about that.

I went home with dh before we had a date.

Lucky for me I guess, he's not one of these insecure men with so few skills that they can only have sex with shy virgins who weep through their first encounter.

He also enjoys having sex with a woman who is enthusiastic about having sex with him.

He's clearly a freak.

I teach my son that its not "fun" for the girl no matter what she says

yes, I'd like to know what on earth you mean by this, and what on earth you are teaching your son, because on the face of it that sounds pretty .

My sons are still babies, but when the times comes I will be teaching "enthusiastic consent" as the bare minimum that they should expect. If the girl is not having fun they need to leave her the fuck alone.

LOL at solidgoldbrass!

looks its old fashionhed, but I think its too much intimacy too early. guaranteed will be awkward as fuck the next morning

unless you are gagging and you want a fuck buddy then go for it!

gawd nOrmalbloke is kind of proving that the writers of "He is not that into you" have a point

DEPRESSING !!!!!!!!!

ONly if you want to be in a relationship with someone like "norrmal"bloke fromparis

Personally, I like to be with someone who sees me as equal, and expects me to enjoy having sex with him, and not as a chore I have to complete as little as I can get away with as part of my wifely duties

Yes it's fine. It's 2014. My D.P was supposed to be a O.N.S never mind a date, and we're still together 13 months later. xx