Sex on a first date? OK or not OK?

[SoleSource]

Yes, I'll follow my gut instinct if I meet this man I have been chatting to online for the last six months, but I feel that I might sleep with him, as I have been celibate for so long.

Is it outdated to feel that I shouldn't sleep with him as it isn't the tradiitional way to behave?

No idea really if we will want to sleep with each other after we meet in reality.

Just want you views on this please.

Ahh the pressures of life getting in the way of a good shag.

Obviously you should keep us posted just in case we can offer any advice nosey at your sex life

sole, ffs sake go and get laid and then report back

I'm going to drive to him if he can't get here

You'd think that if he's gone without for that long, he'd put a sign up in the window of his business saying, "closed for today due to unforeseen circumstances." In fact, after 12 years without, he could get away with a "back in 5 minutes" sign.

I personally wouldn't drive to him either.

I would not give some one a blow job on a first date. Of course he would come back every day for two years if he was getting sucked off every day!

I dont think he is that arsed!

Come on Sole

The man hasn't had sex for 10 years (don't believe that for a moment)
The man is going to "try" to get to see you next week due to him being very busy?
You are now going to drive all that way for a shag?

I smell a huge rat here

Sole you are coming across a bit desperate.

I don't think you sound desperate I think you sound like you got involved emotionally online with someone. It happens to us all sometimes.

Wouldn't matter whether she was desperate for it or not. If she does it and enjoys it (while it lasts) where's the harm?

No harm just saying

Oh do stop being such a bottom sucker neil

SGB has got this spot on.
I find attitudes like Tinks, very scary!!!

I teach my son that its not "fun" for the girl no matter what she says
This woman here thinks sex is brilliant, fun, hot and exciting.
I teach my sons about consent. About how important it is to check constantly that you are both doing things you want to do and are enjoying. Whether that is on the 1st date of the 100th, is irrelevant.
I also teach them that if a pregnancy occurs as a result of a sexual encounter, they are responsible for that.

Over the years any female I had sex with on the first date whilst usually drunk I could never be bothered seeing them again
I can't imagine for one minute, that they would have any desire to repeat the experience! If you have sex with women when they are drunk, then you are a scumbag, and when they sobered up, I suspect they felt the same.

Anyway one previous long term girlfriend played it cool for a couple of months....we dated and she only ever let me see her once or twice per week and no sex....Drove me absolute wild with desire am interest and it really built up my feelings for her in a huge way.
So she played games and you liked that. The fact that you found that exciting, is the reason why I would never want a man like you. You enjoy the thrill of the chase. She became a conquest. You are not long term faithful relationship material in my eyes.

I shagged quite a lot in my teens. I found it fun. I learnt a few things about sex. Sometimes it was on the first date, sometimes not, but it never made any difference to the way the relationship ended up going. If anyone judged me for having sex with them, then I wouldn't have had sex with them again - simple. I'd rather find out sooner, than later, that they were a complete tool.

until I get my mucky paws on him
ha ha, enjoy and savour. Then report back.

I would not give some one a blow job on a first date
I did that 20+ years ago to DH. He said there was no way he was ever letting me go!

Older version of that saying is brown noser.

Well Tinks, having seen your opinions on me in the past and some of your other opinions on different matters, if you liked me, I'd be worried.
After you called me a twat for posting on this site, I made the mistake of apologising to you in case I had said something that offended you to prompt you to say that. I take back that apology. I now realise that you're rude and ignorant without any prompting whatsoever.

Desperate is good. I love it when DH and I haven't had sex for a while and we are both desperate. Makes for very hot sex.

Every young girl I have come across (since I work with teens) has had sex with a boy in the hope of "keeping" him if she does. Not one of the boys has wanted anything to do with her after that.
So we (and you, seeing as you work with them) need to teach different, better values to our young people. We need to teach them that sex is a mutually enjoyable experience that two people do together by complete mutual consent.
It isn't something that the girl gives to the boy and it never has strings attached.

Most men don't like women that are too forward and that is just the way it is.
I could NEVER be with a man who found me intimidating. That would never do. I want a man with a backbone and integrity.

there are 1,000 wankers to 1 good one out there so why chance it
Is that another one of your amazing "facts" Tinks?
I think your female friends need to stop seeing sex as a way of "winning" a man. They clearly have very low self esteem.

You're entitled to your opinions the same way I am on here. Lets both stick to that then.

Here we go

Human nature will never change. No matter what you say or how you say it.

So you are actually telling the OP to go and drive to Kent to shag him? really? He's not coming forward at all in my book but go on drag his trousers off?

I think my female friends need to keep their knickers on more to be honest. As I think a lot of women do.

You seem to think it's ok to make personal attacks on me and then say "lets leave it at that". I understand that you have a problem with me posting on a female dominated site. I also post on a football forum which has a 90 odd % male membership. Some women on that site didn't want to divulge their gender for fear of not being taken seriously. They are more entitled to post than most of the membership on there than most as they are season ticket holders and have been for years (that's not brown nosing or arse licking btw, I'm just stating a fact). Only a handful of dicks come out with disparaging remarks to them.
You seem to be stuck in a mindset that keeps everyone in their place and shouldn't be challenged. You probably have the impression that I'm some 6 stone, limp dicked, hen pecked nerd. I couldn't give a flying fuck what you think of me to be honest but for the record, I'm just under 6 ft, well built and spent my working life in construction and engineering.

One of the reasons this myth that men only like women who Make Them Wait is so harmful is because it allows men to get away with being, actually, rubbish at sex. If women are encouraged to withold sex and focus on getting the man to 'choose' them rather than, you know, giving them an orgasm or two, then the man doesn't have to put himself out between the sheets, he just has to phone the woman the next day. He can convince her that whatever selfish or peculiar things he wants to do in bed are normal and reasonable, and even if his way of doing sex bores her or causes her pain, she will put up with it because she craves the relationship.
SGB - Solid Gold Post

Grown women using the word "shagged and fk" how tacky no wonder why you think it's perfectly fine to sleep with men on the first date and openly admit that you give oral. Oh so tacky with no shame what so ever.
I shag, fuck and suck my beloved husband, with no shame whatsoever. I am a slut with him, but only ever with him.
Why on earth should ANY woman feel shame for enjoying the pleasures of sexual encounters, whether in a long term relationship/marriage or a one night stand?

The man hasn't had sex for 10 years (don't believe that for a moment)
Why is that so incomprehensible to you?

Good luck in teaching these kids that fact.... No doubt you are one in a million here Most Wicked (lots of testosterone in that womb then)

I could never understand why a male would sleep with a female then never want to see her again. I think I might be getting it more now and that isn't a great thought. I would have thought having slept with them once they would want to repeat the experience.

Tinks but your experience of "human nature" seems exceptionally limited and old fashioned. As I keep mentioning, I'm a monogamous Catholic woman... But really, I know many men and women who are fine with flings and don't judge.

So I agree, nothing changes.
Some people welcome all to their table, regardless of their private lives, as equals.
Some people cross the road, noses held high.

I know which type of person I prefer regardless of their sexual practices.