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Original poster

Sex on a first date? OK or not OK?

725 replies

SoleSource · 10/06/2014 18:53

Yes, I'll follow my gut instinct if I meet this man I have been chatting to online for the last six months, but I feel that I might sleep with him, as I have been celibate for so long.

Is it outdated to feel that I shouldn't sleep with him as it isn't the tradiitional way to behave?

No idea really if we will want to sleep with each other after we meet in reality.

Just want you views on this please.

OP posts:
squizita · 13/06/2014 12:56

Exactly Ballina each to their own. Says the religious woman who dislikes PDAs who married the randy athiest with a Jilly Cooper worthy past Our bits, our beliefs, our own business. :)

JaycesMummy · 13/06/2014 13:39

Back to Netmums it is :)

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 13/06/2014 13:50

What the hell is wrong with openly admitting you like oral sex?

DoingItForMyself · 13/06/2014 13:56

Exactly squizita, oral is infinitely safer for the woman than piv sex and when reciprocated it doesn't have to be for foreplay only. Dp and I are unable to use other contraceptives so for us this is a sensible solution. Why on earth I should be ashamed to admit that on an anonymous forum (or even to my friends, many of whom discuss Shock sex!) I have no idea. I'm not ashamed that I enjoy sex in all it's variants with my dp and I'm not ashamed that I enjoyed it before he was officially my dp and was just a sexy bloke I met and liked.

Tinks42 · 13/06/2014 14:08

Oh don't do that JaycesMummy. As much as I may have my opinion and stick to it won't back down due to being a suborn old mule . It's far more fun and informative here.

BakerStreetSaxRift · 13/06/2014 14:09

I really enjoy receiving, and occasionally giving, oral sex.

Also, Tinks and JacyesMum I know of a LOT more "relationships" which only lasted one date where there was no sex which took place at all. So how does that stack up in comparison to your nonsense facts?

Usually, (and this is how it SHOULD be) is that people just fancy the pants off each other and want to have sex with the other person. So they do, and that's why so many are still together years later. No game-playing.

The only time you shouldn't have sex, regardless of how many dates i

Funnyfoot · 13/06/2014 14:12

is............WHEN WHEN I am waiting on a knife edge here!! Grin

BakerStreetSaxRift · 13/06/2014 14:14

Sorry...

Is when you don't really want to or are doing it for any reason other than you really want to have sex with that person.

LoisPuddingLane · 13/06/2014 14:20

I was lured into sex on the pretext of a cheese sandwich once. Never got the sandwich and the sex was crap. I was young. I was stupid.

superstarheartbreaker · 13/06/2014 14:23

I don't think oral sex is tacky... I think it's great. In fact I prefer a 69 to actual penetration! We didn't get round to that on the first date though as I did want to stop to polish my vagina.

LoisPuddingLane · 13/06/2014 14:24

I shall be polishing mine later, mainly because I haven't got a date.

magpiegin · 13/06/2014 14:25

Baffled about how it is tacky to admit you like oral sex? I also use the terms shagged and fucked. Why not? I am a grown woman and as I use them to describe my sex life and I'm not offended by them I don't see it being a problem.

The issue is not whether someone should have sex on a first date. It is up to the person to do what it right. The issue is the people who choose (quite rightly for them) not to have sex on a first date so assume that it must be wrong for everyone else.

Grown adults should have the choice to do what they want without others trying to make them feel like they are making some dreadful, sordid, taboo choice. It's taking me back to the coming on face thread.

LoisPuddingLane · 13/06/2014 14:28

Hahaha I seem to have missed that thread!

Tinks42 · 13/06/2014 14:28

Just think about it, the thread has run on now due to us wonders if it will reach 1000 mark Smile

Justpickagoddamnname · 13/06/2014 14:33

I used to sleep with guys on first date. Does mean I have slept with a lot of guys who turned out to be arseholes. I think if I had my time again I would do things differently and wait till I knew them. Then not do some of 'em.
The guy I first had sex with was also a virgin, and actually I did quite like that. Somehow it Did feel very intimate and close throughout the relationship.
Not spouting lessons here for others, just saying my own view of my experiences.

magpiegin · 13/06/2014 14:34

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2082031-Would-you-find-it-disrespectful-if-a-man-ejaculated-on-your-face?pg=1&order=

The first answer has to win comedy reply of the year...

neiljames77 · 13/06/2014 14:43

I've turned down the offer/suggestion/demand of sex on a first date for a few reasons. None of them were driven by any moral outrage though. I just didn't want to "go to the bogs" or do it between the wheelie bins round the back of the pub. It was more to do with me being too lazy to do it standing up or it might have been raining outside.

knittedknickers · 13/06/2014 14:54

Come on, neiljames 77, try to make and effort next time, honestly some people don't appreciate a romantic jesture when they're offered one!!

JaycesMummy · 13/06/2014 15:02

Tinks I can't stand the way people think it's acceptable to be rude to others on here, knowing fully well they wouldn't dare to do it online, here a shield from them to hide behind. The mums or Netmums are so much more polite, not crude with no manners. Take care Hun x

Original poster
SoleSource · 13/06/2014 15:15

Just got a text from him, going to bed now, want to join me? Awwwww

OP posts:
Funnyfoot · 13/06/2014 15:16

Didn't really understand your last post Jacey this bit mostly to be rude to others on here, knowing fully well they wouldn't dare to do it online, here a shield from them to hide behind.

Any how I am sorry you find some of us crude and rude (blimey it rhymes, I'm a poet!) but there are plenty more threads and many more users should you decide to find somewhere here that suits your ideals.

Personally I like the straight talking vibe here although after being a member of nethuns it did take a while to get used to.

Plus we have a corner especially dedicated to flouncers flounders here

Funnyfoot · 13/06/2014 15:18

Then why are you sat here talking to us Sole Wink

neiljames77 · 13/06/2014 15:18

Oh I'm all for the romantic gestures and I can see where you're coming from. You must be likening it to Mr Darcy and his woman running for shelter through a field and finding a conveniently placed hayloft and ripping each others clothes off. He wouldn't have had to consider such things as, how can he position his legs so that his trousers don't drop all the way down and go in the puddle he's standing in.
These Mills and Boon novels never seem to address issues like this. And they never seem to have the "hero" prodding away aimlessly until the damsel says, "oh give it here for fucks sake! You're useless you!"

squizita · 13/06/2014 15:23

JaycesMummy with all due respect, you are the poster who decided to refer to some women as no good because of what they choose to do in their own private lives.
There is a difference between 'crude' (swearing) and genuinely 'rude' IMO.

Perhaps I am rather sensitive to this because comments about women who choose to have multiple partners reflect on all of us who choose monogamy/a slower pace for whatever reason.
I would hate for people to assume I was thinking nasty thoughts about them - or would ever tell kids to think such things.

Original poster
SoleSource · 13/06/2014 15:33

I know FunnyFoot Kent too far away and beautiful DS home soon.

He wants to see me next week if he can, he asked his partner to actually do some work to enable him to meet me.

OP posts:
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