Sex on a first date? OK or not OK?

[SoleSource]

Yes, I'll follow my gut instinct if I meet this man I have been chatting to online for the last six months, but I feel that I might sleep with him, as I have been celibate for so long.

Is it outdated to feel that I shouldn't sleep with him as it isn't the tradiitional way to behave?

No idea really if we will want to sleep with each other after we meet in reality.

Just want you views on this please.

Disaster!

I met DH on the last night of a holiday - we had a kiss.

Three weeks later he came to visit me (lived 200 miles apart).

We had sex. It was great.

We have now been married for nearly 30 years.

(still bonking!)

I still would not advise anyone to sleep with someone on their first date and that's what the OP was asking. I also said "in most cases" not all, "most cases" is a fact that Im right about so don't try to twist my words.

Evidence?

DH and I did. Within 5 mins of him getting to my flat (met the night before in a club, had a few drunken slow dances and then scrawled my number in lipstick on a fag packet - classy). Never done that with anyone else and it was special. 21 years and 4 DC later...........

Never told DD (17) this who has been brought up having it drummed into her to be friends before being lovers and let us meet his parents first, get a criminal background/credit/STI check, rifle through his underwear draw .

Show us these facts.

Tinks, do you surround yourself with gullible, easily-led women? Or do you live in a particularly woman-hating community? If so many of your friends are messed up about their sexuality (believing their vaginas are some kind of currency, desperate for a man to find them worthy of A Relationship with no apparent awareness that they have just as much choice as a man does in whether or not to date or fuck someone more than once) then there's a common factor there because what you describe is simply not the experience of a vast number of women.

OK

fALSE ALARM HE DID NOT MEAN I'LL CHASE YOU AS IN YOU BE THE PREY HE MEANT I'LL CHASE YOU ON THE BEACH OFFS as that is what we werre chatting about on private message in the chatroom.

Got three missing texts tonight from yesterday, all makes sense now

omg

ITS BACK ON YAYYY

just told him what i found

he said i'm not sexist

sexy time

Ok tinks, let's try something different.

Your friends, the ones who were crying on your shoulder when the assholes never called?

What if they had held out and kept their vaginas to themselves, and the same men stayed interested.

These are men that grade a woman on their "Purity" but not themselves. They are inherently sexist.

Do you think those men make good partners? Or are they sexist twats? It sounds like your friends dodged some bullets.

No, I live in the heart of London. I didn't ever say that a woman doesn't have that choice. What I have said is that 9 times out of 10 the woman ends up getting hurt due to having an emotional input where the man doesn't so in my experience it's better to wait and not take the risk. Which is a very sensible view when being in the dating world. Believe me dating is far worse than it was 10 or even 5 years ago. There is this "too many sweets in the shop" mentality now and something has been lost along the "equality" way which is sad and dangerous.

OP I have this vision in my head now

I have a lot of friends who slip up sometimes out there (no they are not weak at all) and have sex on the first date and regret it because, yes, unfortunately there are 1,000 wankers to 1 good one out there so why chance it.

They find out they are wankers because they aren't willing to wait. So are you saying that they should shag on a first date to weed out the good from the bad to save a lot of time. Now I am laughing.

I never said it's right, I said it's the way it is.
So it's up to us adults to change the way it is and make it right for ourselves and future generations. So perhaps we should teach our young girls that having sex with someone is no guarantee of "keeping" him, nor is marriage, therefore she should act according to her own conscience and be independent.

pmsl funnyfoot!!!! i'm in stiches

I 'slipped up' and accidentally gave my DP a BJ on our first date.

He was so disgusted with my behaviour that he's come back for more every day for the past two years.

I set him a challenge at the start of our second date to slow it down and try and not have sex too soon so that we could get to know each other better. We lasted until the end of our second date.

Fwiw my 14 year marriage also started with a night of passion and I've had plenty of ONSs that went nowhere, as has DP.

It makes no difference, if he likes you and fancies you, he will want to see you again. If he wants to see you again but chooses not to because a little voice in his head says that you are dirty and a whore for fancying him enough to sleep with him, he is an idiot, and who wants to date an idiot? Win win.

Yes Doing I am so clumsy I regularly accidentally fall over opened mouthed on to DH's dick happens at least 3 times a week!

It happens to the best of us Funny. Dp insists that his DCs with his ex were conceived in a freak masturbation/cartwheeling incident

That does happen. I have 4 DC's that prove it although the twins were the result of a trampoline incident and we just kept bouncing in to each other repeatedly naked ya know cos we were on a trampoline

Hi Doingit!

OP, I didn't want to sleep with my new bloke too soon, being scared after ten years with XH. But it happened. I told him that I had wanted to get to know him properly first. He said you will, I'm not going anywhere.

He had no less respect for me, doing the exact same thing that he was doing....

When I was a teenager you were a slag if you did and frigid if you didn't!

Tinks, sadly, you are right

One of the reasons this myth that men only like women who Make Them Wait is so harmful is because it allows men to get away with being, actually, rubbish at sex. If women are encouraged to withold sex and focus on getting the man to 'choose' them rather than, you know, giving them an orgasm or two, then the man doesn't have to put himself out between the sheets, he just has to phone the woman the next day. He can convince her that whatever selfish or peculiar things he wants to do in bed are normal and reasonable, and even if his way of doing sex bores her or causes her pain, she will put up with it because she craves the relationship.

Men who want sexually inexperienced women are men who don't like women very much at all, and who are really freaked out by the idea of women having any choice about sex - or laughing at the man's inadequacies, or dumping him for being a crap shag.

Men will put a lot of leg work in, whether it is OD or realworld: I knew a guy who went (from England) to New Zealand on a "50% chance" and failed in his mission.

Ironically, my first serious boyfriend made ME wait. Months. We were both in our teens but I'd given away my flower to some oik a while before. I was a bit more experienced and raring to go. We dibbled and dabbled but because he'd never actually "done it" I believe it was 5 months until we did. Can you imagine waiting 5 months? I couldn't do it now, I'd end up in a straitjacket.