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Original poster

Sex on a first date? OK or not OK?

725 replies

SoleSource · 10/06/2014 18:53

Yes, I'll follow my gut instinct if I meet this man I have been chatting to online for the last six months, but I feel that I might sleep with him, as I have been celibate for so long.

Is it outdated to feel that I shouldn't sleep with him as it isn't the tradiitional way to behave?

No idea really if we will want to sleep with each other after we meet in reality.

Just want you views on this please.

OP posts:
IShallCallYouSquishy · 12/06/2014 19:46

I've only had sex on the first date once. That was 8.5 years ago and the man it was with is sat next to me watching the golf.

So I say go for it Grin

NormalBloke · 12/06/2014 19:51

Haha thats sex sometimes big anti climax!!!......the more its built up the bigger the disappointment. ...

Spontaneous shagging is surely the way to go.

Original poster
SoleSource · 12/06/2014 19:53

Lucky escape, whew!!

OP posts:
ReallyFuckingFedUp · 12/06/2014 20:01

\Yeah charming thing for your "Lovely" dad to tell you.

And no i havent dated recently as after a ONS with my now dh I have been on off the market for 10 years.

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 20:23

Oh "it's the way it is". Yeah. Have you actually read the thread - all these people who said they slept with their partner the first night and they are still together? So it's NOT "the way it is". Some blokes are like that (and are therefore no loss), others are not.

SolidGoldBrass · 12/06/2014 20:33

The thing is with OLD and ONS is that you don't start the date with someone you only know online at either his house or your house, when it comes to safety. You start in a public place and, when you've got the measure of him and decided a)whether or not you both fancy having sex and b)whether you think he is safe to have sex with ie not speculating how many party hats he can make out of your skin, then you might progress to his place/your place/Travelodge/quick one in the alley behind the pub or is that just me

When you meet a man in a club or at a party or whatever and have a shag the same night, you've generally had an hour or two's getting to know each other enough to decide that you are sexually attracted to each other and he's not a murderer. No matter how charming someone seems online/on the phone, no matter how cute the picture, you don't actually know if you're going to want sex until you meet in the flesh. Some people just sort of creep you out. Some people just don't smell right. There are all sorts of reasons for deciding against sex with someone who sounded and looked perfect up until the moment when you met.

Tinks42 · 12/06/2014 20:36

Yes, my dad was lovely thank you very much. You sound like such a fulfilled happy person, as your site name clearly depicts.

Yes Ive read the thread where some bang on about sleeping with their partner first night and they're still together but there are ten fold of that where its been a disaster. Most men don't like women that are too forward and that is just the way it is.

Like I said before, lucky you who have met and stayed with a first night shag, because its rarely the case.

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 20:39

They're banging on are they? By just saying it? And it clearly isn't that rare - it even happened to my parents back in the dark ages.

Tinks42 · 12/06/2014 20:46

Yes it is far rarer than the other way round.

The dating thread bears this out too.

And yes, some people do bang on about things in a high and mighty way here. Ive been on here long enough to see many a person be shut down for fear of not going along with things.

superstarheartbreaker · 12/06/2014 20:49

I didn't allow myself to have sex with my date last night even though he was fucking sexy. I wish I had now !

superstarheartbreaker · 12/06/2014 20:55

Does blow jobs and fingering on a first date count?!

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 20:58

Ooh we've been banging on. Lucky us.

superstarheartbreaker · 12/06/2014 21:00

Seriously though. Is having a fumble as bad as full on sex?

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 21:03

I have no idea. I am a slut though, so that's probably why.

Paddlingduck · 12/06/2014 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 21:13

That's quite understandable. Everyone has a choice. We are not militantly trying to get the knickers off every dating female, whatever some might think.

cheerybear · 12/06/2014 21:14

Okay I actually had to join do I could post to this (I don't have any children and read this forum during my lunch at work, because somebody told me it can be quite funny with arguments).

I'm really shocked at some of the ladies attitudes. If you want to have sex on the first date, do it! If he dumps you because, you've had a lucky escape.

A wonderful man took me out, he's not the normal type of fella I go for, he's actually amazing, good humoured, gentle and a professional. I got drunk and begged him to fuck me, (yes those were my exact words) I asked over and over, in the car going home. He refused and dropped me home, he dated me many more times before he finally obliged (he made me wait over a month) and it was fabulous, he is the most loving man.

I asked him this evening whether it would make any difference to him if a woman had slept with many men on a first date (it certainly wasn't the first time I had slept with somebody on a first date), he said it would not matter to him.

We got married and are very happy together.

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 21:16

That's lovely, cheerybear. Do you know why he kept you at arm's length for a while?

Backinthering · 12/06/2014 21:20

Ha ha Tinks do you think if you keep shrieking that it's just now things are, it will magically become true despite all evidence to the contrary?

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 21:22

All the banging on about banging on.

cheerybear · 12/06/2014 21:25

He said he wanted to make it special the first time and he personally would not have sex on the first few dates. He said that he didn't judge me, it just wasn't him. I was completely desperate for him by the time we got to do it. I'm in my 30s and he's in his 40s, so we are not young and have both had previous relationships.

Excuse my typos I'm on my phone

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 21:28

Aw I bet it was lovely.

Backinthering · 12/06/2014 21:29

That's fair enough cheerybear, everyone should go at the pace they're comfortable with.

mammadiggingdeep · 12/06/2014 21:32

If you want to have sex on a first date, do it. If not, don't. I did with my ex. 8 years and 2 lovely dd's and then we split. In one if his final cuntish outbursts he told me he never should've had children with someone who fucked on a first date. I think he was butter I'd finally told him to get lost after years of nasty behaviour. I pointed out that he had also ducked on a first date. Don't think there's a difference between male/female doing it.

Some people on this thread need to step out if the 1950s.

mammadiggingdeep · 12/06/2014 21:32
  • Bitter!