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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Sex on a first date? OK or not OK?

725 replies

SoleSource · 10/06/2014 18:53

Yes, I'll follow my gut instinct if I meet this man I have been chatting to online for the last six months, but I feel that I might sleep with him, as I have been celibate for so long.

Is it outdated to feel that I shouldn't sleep with him as it isn't the tradiitional way to behave?

No idea really if we will want to sleep with each other after we meet in reality.

Just want you views on this please.

OP posts:
higgle · 12/06/2014 13:21

DH and I were in bed within about 4 hours of meeting, we celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary in August. No point in waiting if you know what you want.

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 12/06/2014 13:21

Yes to chaserface !

12 years! You better tell him to have a wank before hand!

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 13:27

He's probably terrified, to be honest.

avianaz · 12/06/2014 13:38

Can't get over men saying "he will think you're easy and disappear", whoop-de-doo, self fulfilling blessing. :')

Or maybe there is real concern, after all we give our sex to them, maybe we don't get it back :( can anyone comment on this? does it close over?

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 13:42

Yeah. Once you have given your flower to a man, everything heals over like Maleficent put a curse on it. The curse of the easy minge. And only love's true fuck will open it again.

avianaz · 12/06/2014 14:06

LMAO!

I see what people mean now when they refer to themselves as "cunt destroyers"
those poor fannies :(

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 14:07

People refer to themselves as cunt destroyers? Holy Mother of Fuck.

ReallyFuckingFedUp · 12/06/2014 14:13

I'm a "penis dissolver" myself.

ReallyFuckingFedUp · 12/06/2014 14:16

If you let him kave sex with you on first date he thinks ur easy and desperate sorry

Seriously, is this like the whole "I wouldn't want to join any club that would have me" thing? Do you really have such very low self esteem that you can't fathom a woman wanting to fuck you? Confused

Also this is a page for grownups so we don't use txtspk. If you really are 11 you should probably fuck off back to school and learn how to talk like an adult.

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 14:21

Unless he was talking about Ur, the Sumerian city-state.

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 14:22

Penis dissolver :)

OfficerVanHalen · 12/06/2014 14:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 12/06/2014 14:45

Indeed. Next time I find myself bodyswapped back to my teens I'll know exactly how to get on the right side of the fine male specimens on this thread.

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 14:52

So, if SexOnTheFirstDate marks us down irredeemably as sluts and baggages of the WorstSort, how far can we go?

Is a kiss all right?

Can I let you touch my bra?

Am I cheap as chips if I put my hands on your behind?

getthefeckouttahere · 12/06/2014 14:55

This thread has left me somewhat thoughtful for a couple of reasons.

Firstly the honest held belief of so many women of the 'nice girls don't' view. I'm quite surprised that it is still so prevalent. Its not the view that i hope either my DD or DS grow up with. i have always believed that this was a somewhat societal view imposed on women in order to regulate their behaviour. Obviously things haven't moved on as much as i had imagined.

Secondly there seemed to be a bout of using ones own view on this to slightly denigrate people with opposing views on this topic.

hmmmm food for thought.

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 15:08

I don't remember much of what I told my daughter except:

What you do with your body is entirely your business - it's your body.

I may also have said:

If a guy you are going out with asks you how many people you've slept with you don't have to tell him. It's actually none of his business. Whatever your answer, it will be filed and possibly used against you...

CaptChaos · 12/06/2014 15:13

If you let him kave sex with you on first date he thinks ur easy and desperate sorry

I never 'let' anyone have sex with me. I'm good, but it's not like it's a fucking prize or anything.

I may well have been easy married now, so super easy but never been desperate.

I wasn't aware that I had time warped back to the 1870's. I would say the 1950's but I am fully aware that loads of lovely first date shagging went on in the 50's. Grin

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 15:17

ah the twang of a girdle

CaptChaos · 12/06/2014 15:18

the ripping of a solidly boned bodice?

Cardinal · 12/06/2014 15:18

This is a particularly lovely image/quote for when it comes to shame surrounding past sexual partners and the belief that women can't enjoy casual sex and then have functional relationships:

i2.wp.com/therightstuff.biz/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/johngreen.png

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 15:21

That's wonderful!

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 12/06/2014 15:25

Personally, i'm quite interested in the kave sex, often remembered on ones deathbed. You know nothing.

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 15:27

Is it like cava sex? I think I've had that.

Original poster
SoleSource · 12/06/2014 17:12

He suggested we could meet up on the day I created this thread.

Anyway last night, he said, "I will chase you not the other way around".

WTF Angry

OP posts:
kalidanger · 12/06/2014 17:21

Oooooh he's got funny ideas, SoleSource Hmm