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Original poster

Sex on a first date? OK or not OK?

725 replies

SoleSource · 10/06/2014 18:53

Yes, I'll follow my gut instinct if I meet this man I have been chatting to online for the last six months, but I feel that I might sleep with him, as I have been celibate for so long.

Is it outdated to feel that I shouldn't sleep with him as it isn't the tradiitional way to behave?

No idea really if we will want to sleep with each other after we meet in reality.

Just want you views on this please.

OP posts:
LoisPuddingLane · 11/06/2014 21:57

There was no shagging in Brief Encounter!

Original poster
SoleSource · 11/06/2014 22:03

This guy never talks about sex, he is a gentleman, i want him, he knows i want him to stay overnight with me, he is OK about it, after almost six years of no sex for me, i'll enjoy it and i'm not shy Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
SoleSource · 11/06/2014 22:05

Going to be ages until we meet as he can't get time off, his business partner is lazy.

OP posts:
Original poster
SoleSource · 11/06/2014 22:20

Nice big detached house too

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 11/06/2014 22:23

Is there a dungeon ?

Arrggh no Grin

Original poster
SoleSource · 11/06/2014 22:39

Lmao AnyFucker

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 11/06/2014 22:41

That was semi serious, btw . You don't really know this guy. So take care of yourself, yeah ?

Beautifulmonster · 11/06/2014 22:43

Why is he making excuses about not being able to see you? You've been chatting online for six months, he hasn't had a shag in twelve years, it's being offered on a plate and he still can't be arsed. Why don't you cut your losses and try someone else?

Original poster
SoleSource · 11/06/2014 23:41

I known him for few years in the chat room, i had my beady eye on him since then, he isn't telling lies. Not going to his house, he seems honest but i shall find out as we do with everybody, yes there is someone else, 2 others Grin

OP posts:
SolidGoldBrass · 11/06/2014 23:49

Hope OP is lying back having a cigarette or whatever the fuck non-smokers do after a bonk happy time.

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 08:36

I imagine if he hasn't got it wet in 12 years, he might be a bit scared. Perhaps he has problems in the flagraising department.

superstarheartbreaker · 12/06/2014 09:08

I just went on a first date and we almost had sex. But that little voice said" no be a good girl otherwise he will think your easy. " how annoying. We have arranged another date when I will probably shag his brains out. That little voice is ingrained by the messages that society projects " if you have sex with a man in the first date he won't see you as relationship material. " all rubbish but it's there.

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 09:09

Indeed it is. It tends to get obliterated by the red mist of lust but it is there.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 12/06/2014 09:16

Sole, i have a story for you.

I met this bloke on myspace, he went to school with a friend of mine, but wasnt really friends with her. We chatted on and off for about a month, he came round to my house to watch a film. Film watching lasted 20 minutes... Wink

I saw him the next day, and the next, and the next.

7 years later and we are married with two kids.

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 09:18

I love stories like that.

Actifizz · 12/06/2014 09:40

I'm channelling Beautifulmonster here. Sorry to be a damp squid. But I really wouldn't be pinning all your hopes onthis one. A lot of negativity from him. Cheating wife/ lazy partner/no sex for 12 years....
I hope you prove me wrong and he's shit hot and handy Grin

Goodguy11 · 12/06/2014 11:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SolidGoldBrass · 12/06/2014 11:57

Goodguy - with an attitude like that I doubt many women will even want to have so much as a date with you. I take it your user name is an attempt at sarcasm.

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 12:07

Easy is great. What is the great attraction of scaling a fucking drawbridge?

Funnyfoot · 12/06/2014 12:22

Ahhh so me wanting to shag him on a first date make ME easy and desperate. What about the guy wanting to shag me on a first date is he easy and desperate also?

If so with all the ease and desperation in the air I think having a good shag would be the best idea.

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 12:23

Exactly! What better reason to have a shag than you're "gagging for it" :)

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 12:26

OK, I'm being slightly facetious, but Funnyfoot has a very good point. Is the man easy and desperate too? If not, why not? What is a man who wants to have sex on a first date? Oh, what's that you say? "Normal"? Ah. Silly me.

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 12:40

Also (I know, I do go on, but it needs to be challenged, and every time someone just presents it as "that's just the way it is, I WILL challenge it), the bloke would go into work the next day, and maybe look a bit smug because he "got some" last night. So at the same time as looking down upon the easy and desperate unfortunate who gave away her precious to him last night, he will be smugging it a bit because he "got some". Some being a quantity, of something you can buy, haggle, steal or received. A commodity.

It's completely separate from the woman and the act they shared. He's come away with "something" and she's given away "something" according to Mr Smug Bollocks she slept with. It was a transaction according to his ideas. She is now a less valued and valuable person for giving it away. All because she wanted the same thing he did.

Chaseface · 12/06/2014 13:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoisPuddingLane · 12/06/2014 13:11

It is quite a long time - however having gone eight years once I can sort of get inside the headspace.

The longer you go without, the more it seems the norm and you just feel less and less attractive to people. That was how I experienced it. It becomes self-perpetuating. Of course he might also be covered in boils.