DH and my lovely family

[germinal]

Will try and be short! I have a lovely and large family. We get together maybe six times a year (3 ds 1db and partners). We live close to my parents and ds and I see them often. Children see cousins and grandparents at least twice a week. DM minds DS2 four days a week. Except for occasions (christmas, easter, big bdays) I dont ask or expect DH to attend family get togethers. However tonight he has declared he "doesn't like them (my family) and will leave me to attend most things alone. I think that is ridiculous. I don't care if he doesn't like them, they are kind and generous people and a huge part of my life and the dc life. I expect him to attend family things and be kind. Ffs. Aibu????

Can I pop back in and give a second 'Huzzah' for common sense.

And I don't get the loyalty/money earning thing either.

I'm just glad that you and your DH got over your respective Grrs and sorted it out like grown ups

That's great, germinal! Though I did like your earlier sign off about locking DH in the basement & going off to play with your siblings.

LoonvanBoon I couldnt resist returning to tell that poster that I was the breadwinner!! Ha!! You see how I get into marital strife, I can't let a thing slide!!

I must say I assumed he was still in the basement and was secretly getting quite concerned (but obviously couldn't express that as I had so clearly nailed my colours to the "OP is not being unreasonable" mast")

I can tell the stereotype that was running through too many minds of those in the "your husband has a point', "you may be a harridan" camp. It's great that Germinal crushed their stereotypes one by one with her polite rebuffs.
Glad that you and your husband sorted it out. Lots on here would kill to have the family support that you have and are just probably jealous. The cost of childcare and maternal isolation talked about on this PARENTING site seems to testify to that. And having a close bond to your large family doesn't seem to have turned you into some "infantilised female" ( which is the bugbear of lots, including myself on here), yet you were meant to be quiet as to why your husband found it contentious that you are close to your family!?
Lots of projecting on here.

i have a big family. A lot of the family spouses feel it can be a bit overbearing at family get togethers which are much less frequent than yours, and lots dont go to all of them. Some dont go to any.

6x a year is every couple of months. If youre putting pressure on him to be pally and on best behaviour the whole time, then he will get pissed off with it sometimes. guaranteed.
Maybe tell him that you understand he doesnt want to go to all the get togethers but youd like him to come to special occasion ones and be polite.