Had a row with friend, she thinks I am being tight and pathetic advice please

[bouncy]

Firstly I would like to add that what I love about mumsnet is that advice is usually given as it is, and people are not always told what they want to hear, bearing that in mind I would like honest advice please.

I have had a row is a good friend of 5 years, she does not agree that my ds 7 has chores, and gets pocket money for doing so, all he has to do is keep his room tidy, and clean out his hamster hardly a lot, she thinks that children should be children and not have to do anything.

today she came round with her 2 kids ds aged 6 and dd 4, her kids have no value of money whatsoever, always getting toys willy nilly, always going to clubs, 3 each a week, always trips to theme parks etc etc, but what annoys me most is that they will ask for something, take a bite then say I want that instead, and my friend lets them have it, imho they are spoilt and its hard for me to admit that out of all my friends kids, I like them the least.

Anyway they came today and stayed for lunch, they both asked for a sandwich, i made it, they took the usual one bite of sandwich and said, nah I actually fancy and roll instead, I made them a roll, only for them to do the same again and ask for some pizza, at this point I said no sorry I have already made you X and X, at which point my friend said, why dont you give them a piece of pizza, I told her I already made them the other things as she well knew, she then said she always fed my son when he goes round (yes she does, but he eats what he is given and never changes his mind) and that I am just being tight, and its very pathetic of me to not give them some food, she made it sounds as though I was refusing her kids any food.

I just feel so annoyed with her, she left shortly afterwards to take them to Mcdonalds.

I am so proud of ds as he is a lovely polite boy, who saves for things he wants, his face when he actually buys something he has been saving for, he respects his toys and looks after them.

she is a good friend and i see her mainly when the kids are at school, we have very different opinions on parenting, I like time out and she goes for the wait till your dad gets home approach.

Anyway just needed a rant really as just got a text asking if I am ready to apologise yet !!!!!

You did.

It was when she sent you that blank cheque.

Er.....you repeating yourself to reinfirm what you already said?

Or because you're laughing as you're typing resulting in you pressing the "Post message" button twice?

Ooops

I meant reaffirm

Hey, mis-spelling doesnt mean you are thick Welsh.

(Not thinking to use a spellcheck first however.......)

Do you use a spell checker on here?

WOW

I really AM witty then, because I just press post without thinking

I just want to know if it was organic bread, and was it wholemeal or not? I can't possibly make a judgement call until we know all the relevant facts.

Yeah moondog will be over here now asking if there were any fruit shoots present at this pizza face-off or she wont be at liberty to comment

I don't need to boris

You are making me larf....

LOL Franny...good to see you back

Because if she bought nutritionally superior bread, say, but you gave them white sliced Lidl with a cheese triangle on, then I would have to side with her, just out of principle.

Surely the pizza was enough to get you on-side with the friend???

If it was home made pizza cooked lovingly in an Italian stone bake oven topped with goats cheese and hand picked tomatoes flown in fresh from Valencia

Then of course Ill side with bouncy

But if it was a 12 for £1 pizza from ASDA then Im with KingsmillASBOQueen

I am still somewhat touchy about the whole pizza topic

Kindly refrain from mentioning it

Or she could have just rang Dominos

Eh Franny?

It was Perfect Pizza actually if you must keep bringing it up

Not so perfect now you're blacklisted from every fast food delivery place in the South East though

I think it is only that one

although there was that incident with the nun's habit and the cigar

Off subject slightly

In last weeks monthly works shindig, my boss got off with another boss.
He likes dogs
She is from London

So when we talk about them we say "the dog lover and the cockney"

That is so out of order re the bread - I think I'd be tempted to turn it into crumbs and deliver it through her letter box but that is a little childish fun though!!!!

Sensible answer would be to leave it and just cut her and her brats off.

I'm not always that sensible so there's either the crumbs or spread them out across her lawn over a couple of weeks attracting lots of birds etc.

slightly?????

this is going to be one of those famous mumsnet threads.The grapes, ucm's lady gearden and the mad bread lady.i can see it now.

Bouncy the woman is a looper.Sack her.

garden even

I think that pizza demand was the tip of an iceberg and your friend was spoiling for a fight with you. This was a perfect excuse.

If, as you say, your parenting styles are so different, she could have noticed that too. You say your child is pretty controllable and has decent manners whereas her two sound like whiney nightmares and she takes the line of least resistance with them. She may well be really wound up with it all - and she has two, not one child to contend with and that can mean much more ganging up against her. She may be a lot more wound up about her children than you think. she may be full of self pity when she sees your 'easier' family set up. And somehow she is blaming you for this, and feels you don't understand her - I KNOW you are not, but do you think she might feel you are being smug and so she countered this by being defiant and flippant in an angry way? I have to admit I sometimes get flippant at 'bad' moments like this. I am rambling and it may just have been her hormones or a bad mood andd you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Anyway, I think beetroot's advice is the best ignore,ignore, ignore - any hing you do she may willfully misinterpret if she is in this state of mind.

If you really like her and bearing in mind you will see her at school, how about letting some time elapse, then talk to her as if nothing has ever happened and take it from there.

Well in my mind it made sense Twiglett