Hi there, I have NC. I have posted before about my marriage but only in bits, usually whats bothering me the most at the time. I want to explain the full sad story and ask you to give me your advice on what you would do if you were me and what bits would bother you the most. I ask because I feel like I don't know my own mind anymore. Things are so ingrained. Thank you in advance for reading. This will be long.
Been with dh 22 years. 2 dc 7 and 16.
I will try and start with the early behaviour and work forward. Its a list I'm afraid as a story would be a book.
Met h mid teens, no other relationship. He is 6 years older than me.
He would squeeze my hands till they hurt then laugh and say it was a joke.
He would ring and say im coming now and expect me to drop everything and be readyIin minutes.
He expected me to clean him up after being intimate.
He would constantly ask if I had done something he asked over and over again. If I hadn't he asks why not so I have to make excuses.
After dc he never once got up in the night to feed or change because I was on ml.
He hates it when im ill and mocks that I'm putting it on.
Doesn't have any empathy for anyone ever.
Never says sorry
Moans about the mess. Even if I've cleaned he will find something to pick on.
Doesn't tell me he loves me.
Blocks my nose and flicks my lips when im going to sleep because he liles to fiddle with me.
I fell down the stairs into the living room, he was sat on the sofa just feet away and he didn't move or say anything.
If im asleep and my foot is hanging out of the bed he will scrape his nail dpwn the sole of my foot and make me wake up in shock.
If hes giving me a taste of something he has made he puts the spoon to my mouth gently but then rams it in against my teeth.
Criticises my driving
Asks me to get something say from the kitchen, if grumble whilst doing it, I hand him it and he says "it wasn't hard was it"
Cant stand it if im asleep. He has woken me up by grabbing my feet. I roused and he rubbed my face with his bare hands. I said I could hit you, he went upstairs and told our dc did you hear that, mum wants to hit me, thats abusive that is.
Lifts the end of my nose as he walks past me and says, hey piggy.
There's more but I think you get the idea. Is he autistic or just not very nice. Are any of these things normal? Would you stay and try and sort or would you go? Ive left before for a week but came back. He said it was daft to split up over something so stupid.