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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is anal that awful?

447 replies

multitasker · 31/08/2006 21:05

DH would love to try rear passage, the thought slightly horrifies me - pain etc; Am I missing out on something?

OP posts:
NotAnOtter · 31/08/2006 22:51

there is a lot of 'crap' being talked on here - shit on ceilings and practising with butt plugs 'my arse'

bubble99 · 31/08/2006 22:51

Big enough for an uphill gardener and a set of trowels.

WideWebWitch · 31/08/2006 22:52

Ghosty, I can't read any more, I need smelling salts, I tell you! Let's away to talk about KITTENS!!

sallystrawberry · 31/08/2006 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MatNanPlus · 31/08/2006 22:56

night GingerBear

jollymum · 31/08/2006 22:58

Come to think of it (well, I don't) but he alkways steers my hands round to his little starfish incoherently muttering. usually things like "oooh yes.."! Has, as I recall, asked me to get extra rubber gloves from my hair dying kit with that pleading kind of voice. Maybe I should get into "madam" mode and oblige? Honestly, have v little sex life or libido now and would have to get paid money to do it.

There's a thought laydeez, if you could be a madam and inflict pain/humiliation etc would you? No sex involved, just loads of "Yes Mistress" and "of course I'll clean the toilet if you smack my bottom".

Am going to the "Men's Room" now to ask their opinions (and how much they'd pay, if any!)

jollymum · 31/08/2006 23:08

Well, killed that one didn't I?Or are you all slinking into your leathers and cracking that whip?

fattiemumma · 31/08/2006 23:14

a NO TOuCHING ALLOWED madamme is my dream job.

oh to get paid a small fortune to kick pathetic men in the balls.....thank you very much!

maybe i just have anger issues lol

kama · 31/08/2006 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

CountessDracula · 31/08/2006 23:25

you have to be careful that you don't get a red sock

moondog · 31/08/2006 23:26

lol re 'No touching'
Saw barking documentary about Bunny Girls the other day.
As well as having to perfect the 'bunny dip' and lots of other weird shit,they had to say
'Sir,don't touch the bunny' in an automatron voice and keep on repeating it if anyone tried to grope them.

CountessDracula · 31/08/2006 23:29

gibbing is worse than all of this

How can one gib?

I mean...

snowleopard · 31/08/2006 23:29

Winnets

(dangleberries)

moondog · 31/08/2006 23:30

CD,you are talking another language tonight.Wot is this?
And still puzzling over 'bifta' on t'other thread...

CountessDracula · 31/08/2006 23:33

and I have answered..

Now, my darling brother used to specialise in finding words for appalling sexual deviances and regaling me with them so, tonight, for your pleasure, I present:

GIBBING
and
RED SOCKING

I am amazed that they have made it into any form of dictionary (but rather delighted)

moondog · 31/08/2006 23:34

I daren't look.
Dh miffed enough as it is.

CountessDracula · 31/08/2006 23:34

goodness me I don't fancy a donkey punch one bit

CountessDracula · 31/08/2006 23:35

(i am however delighted that my db has never mentioned one to me so I will have one over on him next time we meet)

fattiemumma · 31/08/2006 23:36

i had heard of "Donkey Punch" but not the other two.

it does make you wonder what sort of woman would allow such a thing to be performed on them though.

CountessDracula · 31/08/2006 23:37

maybe they get snuck up on from behind

I think gibbing and red socking is mainly man on man (though I could be wrong)

bubble99 · 31/08/2006 23:38

CD, your 'uphill gardening' term has already been appreciated on this thread.

CountessDracula · 31/08/2006 23:38

tis not mine, I wish I could take the credit though

sallystrawberry · 31/08/2006 23:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moondog · 31/08/2006 23:39

Oh God,I soooooo should be in bed. (1:30 here and leaving tomorrow) but this is addictive.
CD,you are in sparkling form tonight.

bubble99 · 31/08/2006 23:39

Isn't she just?

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