Sorry, this is going to be long. My life has been ripped apart.
It's DP's sister's birthday tomorrow and I have a parcel and cards to send to her. I know she sent her new address to DP via Facebook so I called him at work to ask if I could log on to his account to retrieve it. He gave me his password, we chatted for a bit and said goodbye. As I was logging on he phoned back sounding slightly panicky saying he'd changed his password and couldn't remember the new one so not to bother and he'd phone his sister for the address. Can you guess where I'm going with this?
Of course, there was no problem logging in and his password hadn't changed. I found messages, sixteen of them, to his ex-wife and three other women describing in graphic detail that he was masturbating while thinking about them and what he would love to do to them, given the chance. On one lovely conversation he describes how he is in a loveless, sexless relationship but is unable to leave as we have a child and I have mental health problems and will kill myself if he leaves me. These messages go back to last year.
As far as I was concerned we had a very loving, far from sexless relationship! We're due to be married next year, have been together seven years, have a four year old son. I don't know what to do. I've vomited, been on the loo for the last hour (sorry TMI).
I have NEVER had any cause to doubt him, never. I thought we were lucky. What am I going to do? I am in absolute shock, shaking, retching. And now here come the tears. Oh God. Who IS this man? He has been phoning for the last hour, no doubt wanting to check he hasn't been caught out. Oh God. I don't know if I'm asking for help or advice or what, I needed to get this out. I cannot deal with this.