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Original poster

Is it possible to just know someone is "the one" almost immediately?

99 replies

NataliePortman · 16/05/2014 19:33

I have just started seeing someone and after the first date I felt like when I looked at his face I just knew it was going to be the face I looked at every day forever.

I'm just wondering if anyone has experienced a feeling like that and if it turned out to be true?

I have to say everything is going very well, and I think he has had the same thunderbolt. It doesn't appear to be purely physical because he's been working away a few weeks now and we talk every day for hours and we just "get on".

I'm not a teenager, I'm a grown woman of 35 who's been around and while I have had butterflies and electricity and all those sorts of feelings before a few times; with this man, I am having this very strange feeling.

When I look at his face, it just feels like home. Like I just know and was wondering if anyone has ever had that before. It's so strange and I wondered if I am being silly or if this sort of thing is sometimes real.

OP posts:
jasminemai · 17/05/2014 08:05

Yep we knew told each other within first week

EyeMyrrhSlapHer · 17/05/2014 08:31

Absolutely. I knew the first time we met 13 years ago.

FabULouse · 17/05/2014 08:48

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HercShipwright · 17/05/2014 08:53

Yes. With DH. He knew too. We've been together for 19 years, married for 17 (we were engaged pretty quickly but had to sort out things with jobs, property sales and relocating my elderly father before we could get married).

McFox · 17/05/2014 08:56

Yes, I felt the same with my DH - we met when I was 34, and I just knew within the first week! He took a wee bit longer to come round Smile

We've been married just over a year and I'm having a baby in a few weeks - we couldn't be happier!

Trust your instincts Smile

LividofLondon · 17/05/2014 08:58

Yes I did. He was the only man I've ever looked at in a pub and thought "I don't care if I make a prat of myself I'm going to chat him up if he doesn't come over" (this was in my shy youthful days). Luckily he did and we were inseparable until he dumped me for his ex a few months later. We got back together and because he just wouldn't discuss it, ie acknowledge how much he'd hurt me, the relationship never really worked. He turned out to be a crap communicator (would storm off rather than talk) who was also jealous (used to have a fit if I got attention from other men), and had no respect for people's property. He dumped me again (by just going AWOL for 2 weeks...coward!), but luckily that time I realised it was for the best. No happy ending there although I suppose it was a lucky escape, so a happy ending in hindsight

PigletJohn · 17/05/2014 09:07

Yes but it doesn't necessarily work out.

When it does, people will say it was LAFS and when not, they will say it was a fleeting romance.

Youdontneedacriminallawyer · 17/05/2014 09:11

DH proposed after 10 days. The day we met he told his DM he'd met the girl he was going to marry. We married about four months later and are about to celebrate 22 year anniversary.

ScarlettlovesRhett · 17/05/2014 09:35

Yes. I'd actually 'known' him a few years previously at work, we used to banter on the phone and in person and had a similar humour - no romantic feelings at all, didn't even fancy him (although he maintains he had a thing for me).

Moved away from each other due to work, but ended up by chance working away at the same place, same time, 3 years later. Instantly I 'knew', for a few weeks we always seemed to 'end up' at the same places in the evenings, and invariably spent the whole night flirting with each other until we finally snogged. About a week in, I knew that I would always end up comparing any future boyfriend to him and they would never compare - he was the whole package and had a way of making me feel really good about myself (iyswim). I was absolutely lost to anyone else.

A few months later we had to move back to our normal places of work, at opposite ends of Britain, so it had to end unfortunately - I was gutted. Within hours of getting home he'd phoned me and managed to convince me he would make it work somehow. 1 year later we got married, I got pregnant on honeymoon and we had another 3 years later. It's our 13th wedding anniversary this year.

Although we've had some awful bumps in our marriage along the way, including separating for a short while when we went to relationship counselling, I still couldn't imagine anyone taking his place and he says the same - we are amazing together as a team and I love that about us too. (In fact, it was the counselling that made us appreciate each other all over again).

I can't imagine growing old with anyone else, and he still makes me belly laugh all the time - I truly believe that if soul mates exist, I've found mine.

VulvaVoom · 17/05/2014 09:38

I met DH on a weekend away 12 years ago, we spent the whole weekend together and I told my friend I was going to marry him when I'd known him 2 days. We've been married 5 years and have a an 18 month old DD.

I knew he was the man for me, it was so strange, we both just knew and got straight into a relationship after that weekend. We've never even come close to breaking up, we're not an overly romantic couple but we know each other so well, including our failings and we're very happy.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 17/05/2014 09:43

Er - the first time, I was 18, met him first day at University. Told my mum, I'd met someone really, really important and dumped my bf. We got together for five years or so, split up but we are still great friends even now.

Took about 3 dates and a shag with DH. ;)

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 17/05/2014 12:28

No it's not possible, I just don't think it is. I think that many people who are still with the people they met a long time ago possibly reframe the first meeting as 'love at first sight' or 'they're the one', conveniently forgetting those before who proved disappointing. It's easy to say in retrospect that "I always knew they were THE ONE" because it feels romantic and almost a sacrosanct validation of the relationship. In reality, I think it's "I'd HOPED they were the one... and they were".

neiljames77 · 17/05/2014 13:09

I believe in LUST at first sight. Even got married on the strength of it.

jasminemai · 17/05/2014 13:15

Lying not for us we met and were engaged pretty much straight after were engaged and married. We discussed marriage in first week

jasminemai · 17/05/2014 13:16

And we were only 18

janajos · 17/05/2014 13:17

I knew the first time I saw now DH across a 'crowded room'! I hadn't even spoken to him! He asked me to marry him the first time he kissed me! We've been happy together for more than 10 years...

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 17/05/2014 13:30

It was definite lust but it was more instant recognition, it was like an ' oh THERE you are' feeling. I felt it before we even said hello and I was about to be engaged to someone else at the time, which put a spanner in the works!

HercShipwright · 17/05/2014 14:01

Lying - no. I knew. I said to my sister that day 'I'm going to marry X'. We hadn't actually 'been out' at that point, the day we met was a work thing.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 17/05/2014 14:08

I'm not saying it NEVER happens but I am saying that I think there is a lot of hindsight adjusting that goes on. What starts as a "Mmm he's nice, I wonder if he's available?" becomes a heartfelt "I just KNEW" if/when the relationship develops into anything and works out.

Lust at first sight... ohh absolutely!

TheWorldAccordingToJC · 17/05/2014 14:30

well yes but what you're suffering from right now is ' the madness ' if you've only had a date or two so far

give it a year or two and then see where you are. I'd just take it for what it is right now ( early stage lust) and see how it pans out. I hope it lasts for you! remember - you cannot love somebody you do not know!

jasminemai · 17/05/2014 14:39

I 100% believe in love and first sight and that you can know its for a lifetime even after 1 or 2 meetings.

Nocomet · 17/05/2014 14:52

Both knew if we had a second date it would be forever. Got engaged after six weeks, then two years of him finishing being a postgrad before we married and lived together full time not just weekends.

25 years later he's still making me laugh and driving me mad and mostly simply being my best friend.

PrimalLass · 17/05/2014 15:04

Yes. It was like meeting a member of my family that I didn't know yet.

Just like this. We are very, very unromantic, but just knew pretty much straight away. There was none of that will he/won't he.

CalamityKate1 · 17/05/2014 15:59

Yes.

I met him on a blind date and it was peculiar; I've met men I fancy more. I've met men I've had more in common with. It wasn't a lightning bolt situation in that regard. But for the first few weeks of our relationship I had butterflies to the point of nausea. I literally had to force myself to eat. It was like I knew that this was going to be THE relationship. The one I was going to have a family in.

Been together nearly 15 years. Married for nearly 2. Kids are 11 and 12 :)

FullySwindonian · 17/05/2014 17:14

Yes.
When I met my children's father, I knew instantly I'd have children with him, despite not being maternal nor even wanting children back then, and through the whole relationship until I fell pregnant, I still didn't really want kids with him.

The same when I met my current partner, before we'd even been introduced I knew I'd marry him. I've never had that feeling with other boyfriends, nor the desire to marry them either. The feeling both times was intense and 'right'.

Havin been with him two years now though, I can see that he's probably not the marrying type Grin so perhaps my feeling was coffee inspired.

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