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Relationships

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Original poster

Is it possible to just know someone is "the one" almost immediately?

99 replies

NataliePortman · 16/05/2014 19:33

I have just started seeing someone and after the first date I felt like when I looked at his face I just knew it was going to be the face I looked at every day forever.

I'm just wondering if anyone has experienced a feeling like that and if it turned out to be true?

I have to say everything is going very well, and I think he has had the same thunderbolt. It doesn't appear to be purely physical because he's been working away a few weeks now and we talk every day for hours and we just "get on".

I'm not a teenager, I'm a grown woman of 35 who's been around and while I have had butterflies and electricity and all those sorts of feelings before a few times; with this man, I am having this very strange feeling.

When I look at his face, it just feels like home. Like I just know and was wondering if anyone has ever had that before. It's so strange and I wondered if I am being silly or if this sort of thing is sometimes real.

OP posts:

ManWithNoName · 17/05/2014 17:26

I read a lovely account of the marriage of Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft a few weeks ago.

They seem to have had a love at first sight marriage (although I think married before to other people). They were inseparable their whole married life.

"Anne and Mel met when she was rehearsing for the Perry Como television show the musical number, "Married I can Always Get." She was wearing a white suit. Mel Brooks called from offstage, "I'm Mel Brooks." She told her psychiatrist the next day that she had met the right man."

"Mel on first meeting Anne: "I fell in love with her then and there."

They were married 41 years and then she died quite suddenly of uterine cancer.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 17/05/2014 18:41

Yup.

Met a woman in a bar on holiday, got chatting, went clubbing. Arranged to meet the following day on another island. I got there first and when I saw her at the rail of the fe?ry...bang.

That was a quarter of a century ago. Ups and downs of course, but there you go.

LuluJakey1 · 17/05/2014 19:31

I knew. We both did. We were 30 and had been round the block with other relationships. When we met it was instant.
It was't just a physical attraction, it was a kind of recognition of someone who was the same in important ways, that's how it felt, even though we knew nothing about each other.
Months later he described it as feeling like an old, old love, as if we had been here before and done it all then and somehow found each other again in this life.
It just felt right and familliar. Still does.

Original poster

NataliePortman · 18/05/2014 09:36

Well, I know it might not work out, but I am definitely feeling that feeling of "Oh there you are" and it's a really good feeling so I'm going to surrender to the insanity and enjoy it.

There's no need for me to hide it from him. He feels the same :D (phew!)

OP posts:

youmakemydreams · 18/05/2014 10:32

Had this with dp. Did tell myself I was nuts. I remember when I first told him I loved him and we talked later on and he had wanted to tell me and that the word love had become taboo. We couldn't even let ourselves say we'd love a cup of tea in case it cam out as yes I'd love you.
We were both divorced grown ups and it was all very bizarre and I thought utter nonsense. But on our second date I thought I am going to marry him one day (next september)

For want of a better word it was always comfortable. We know life isn't perfect and what drives us insane about the other but we can communicate and face things together. I still look at him and feel that first flutter despite he now lives with me and my 3dc. His family have welcomed us all with open arms.

The funny thing is that dp and I went to uni together, had mutual friends, moved to all the same places around the country for jobs together and ended up living in the area we do now through rather random.circumstances but we never knew each other.

alphabook · 18/05/2014 18:04

Being a bit of a cynic I agree with LyingWitch, I do think there's a large element of hindsight and confirmation bias in these stories. I can imagine it's very common for people to meet and have that connection, but how many of those relationships actually work out I don't know. And how often do people talk about the "love at first sight" stories that didn't work out?

I think in life there are some people where you meet and just "click". I had that feeling when I met one of my gay mates - even though there was obviously no sexual attraction between us but we just got on so well instantly and could chat for hours from the moment we met. If we had been sexually attracted to each other you could have called it love at first sight. I think what people call love at first sight is a combination of personalities clicking and lust. It's a wonderful thing to find, but I don't think it's "fate" or "meant to be" or any indication that things will definitely last.

KittyandTeal · 18/05/2014 18:21

Yep, I knew after the, what was going to be, ONS with my now DH!

I was due to fly out to Thailand and teach for 6 months 5 weeks after we got together.

We spent lots of time doing lovely things for 5 weeks but agreed that we wouldn't 'wait for each other'.

2 days after arriving in Thailand I changed my flights and only stayed 4 weeks.

It was never said at the time and we don't speak about it much now tbh but we both just knew.

We now have a lovely DD and are very happy.

Lanabelle · 18/05/2014 18:30

yep - but I was a teenager. and almost 15 years and 4 DC later he is sitting at the bottom of the sofa having just finished work and rubbing my feet. I know I hate said this before but I feel like I married my best friend

Flexibilityiskey · 18/05/2014 18:35

I knew within two weeks of starting to date DH. We'd worked together for a month or so before that, and it had slowly dawned on me that I fancied him.

I still remember going to the doctor to get the contraceptive pill two weeks in. He asked if I was in a long term relationship and I said yes, without a seconds thought. We've been married 10 years now so I was right.

Toohardtofindaproperusername · 18/05/2014 21:32

I love this thread - now ... Is it likely to happen at 47 cus I'm 7 years single and want a bit of lovedupness and coming homeness in my life:)
So nice to read this stuff- whatever "it" is ....

LineRunner · 18/05/2014 22:53

Well, I had hit 50 when I stumbled upon mine ...

KouignAmann · 18/05/2014 23:26

I was 53 and a year out of a 25 year difficult marriage when I met DP. We went for a drink and he chatted and chatted and I sat back and listened to him rabbiting on and thought "I could get used to this it is very easy". Three years on we are engaged and buying a house and still haven't had an argument. It is like I found my other half after a lifetime of being incomplete.
We understand each other without words and we share many failings and a daft sense of the ridiculous. I never ever worry when he doesn't text or when he is working away because I absolutely know he is mine and I am his. It is lovely and most unexpected and if had known it could be like this I would not have settled for my first boyfriend and married him.
Ooh I think I will go and find him and tell him how wonderful he is now...

brokenhearted55a · 18/05/2014 23:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GinUtero · 18/05/2014 23:40

"I looked at his face I just knew it was going to be the face I looked at every day forever." Yep, I felt like that within about 5 seconds of meeting my DH and I was 32 at the time, so hardly naive.

By date 2, I knew he was "the one" and 6 days after our first meeting (date 4) he said to me, "there's something I want to tell you, but I'm worried it might be too soon". I said, "just say it!" He told me he loved me and I said it straight back, yes it felt bonkers, yet at the same time it felt so right.

You could say it was a whirlwind relationship in that we saw no point in hiding our feelings. Still, we waited 18 months before we moved in together and 3 years before we got engaged. We're both extremely independent people and needed to be utterly sure we weren't getting caught up in the romance of the situation and that we truly knew each other inside out before we married. Years later, we're entirely confident that we made the right decision :-)

Redglitter · 18/05/2014 23:44

My dad was a guest at a wedding where my mum was bridesmaid.

He told another guest he was going to marry her. That was the Saturday. Sunday he broke up with his gf. Monday he & mum had their first date. He went home that night & wrote a mock up of their engagement announcement.

They were together 46 years til he died

Footle · 18/05/2014 23:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

NataliePortman · 19/05/2014 13:57

Reglitter and Footle, those are lovely stories.

It's quite nice to have some happy stories on MN. I know not all of them work out that way, but it's nice to hear some and get a bit of faith that not all men turn out to be lying, cheating bastards.

Have to say I have learned a lot from participating here. I joined at the end of my last LTR a year ago where the guy turned out to be nothing like I thought he was. I was devastated and shocked but learned over time that while he was perfect on paper and said all the right things he actually did have a lot of the "red flags" for being a completely selfish twat and I was just blind to them in my romantic fantasy.

The thing about people is that if they want you, they are more than capable of "sweeping you off your feet" and treating you like a Queen even if they are a complete arsehole. When they no longer want you they are sometimes capable of treating you like complete shit.

Thanks to MN and a horrible breakup I think I do have a better "picker". I would run a mile from my ex if I met him now. As loving and attentive as he was he had cheated on his ex wife (why I thought this would not apply to me I have no idea) and he was a seasoned liar whilst putting in a façade of being a nice guy and while he gushed and gushed about me he never put me first from day one and I put up with it.

My new guy is much less perfect on paper and I feel a lot more of that instant "YES!" feeling and I like it!

Even if it doesn't work out at least it's fun while it's happening!

OP posts:

Footle · 19/05/2014 16:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

isabellavine · 19/05/2014 16:58

I am all in favour of people throwing themselves in with gusto as long as they aren't risking fundamentals - their total wellbeing, their financial security etc.

Partly this is because I think hurt is inevitable when things don't work out, whether you've been really careful and taken things slowly, or whether you've thrown caution to the wind. You can't guard yourself against pain without losing everything that's valuable about a relationship. Provided that this risk is recognised, at least going in head first allows you to have the lovely romantic beginning - and to live life without constantly hedging.

PipkinsPal · 19/05/2014 18:36

I met someone 5 weeks ago and we have seen each other regularly and talk on the phone each night before we go to sleep. We say it to each other on weekends when he stays over though.

He makes me laugh, we talk a lot and the silences are comfortable too. We have a lot in common. He cooks, he makes the bed, he washes dishes, the cat loves him and has him wrapped around his paw.

When I think of him I have little tingles all over. I've never had that with previous relationships. I want to tell him I love him. Even though I suspect he loves me, is it too soon to say it?

I have always been one to like my space but now I can't wait until the next time I see him. I know it sounds soppy, and I've never been one for soppiness, I hope we will be together for a very long time.

SelectAUserName · 19/05/2014 19:01

Yup. He said "I love you" two days after our first date. We've been together over 20 years, married for nearly 15.

Pinklaydee1302 · 19/05/2014 19:38

I've been seeing my guy two months and I feel like he was put on this earth for me to find

Pinklaydee1302 · 19/05/2014 19:39

I've been seeing my guy two months and I feel like he was put on this earth for me to find

tigermoll · 19/05/2014 21:03

I've had that. I met him at a party. I just knew. I wanted to see his face every day and watch him grow old, and be with him and only him every day of my life. And I just KNEW he felt the same. So it wasn't a surprise when he came into my work the next day to ask me out.

Of course, it didn't work out. I thought I'd met my forever love, and he married somebody else. Even though it's been ten years since we split, and I've had two wonderful relationships, I have never felt that with anyone else. But if we had stayed together, I'd be one of the ones sat here saying 'yep. sometimes you just know'

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