Dating thread 75

[DeliberatelyDreaming]

For everyone OLD or even RL dating. Tell us your stories, share your woe's and get and give support.

white pleased to hear all is going well - is the grill pan still sparkling??

Beardy is being very lovely still. He's away with work and had warned me he would be busy, but sent me a message earlier, just to say hello before he went out for dinner. Just got back to his hotel and sent me another message (a little tiddly I think ) so I've asked him when we are going to get together for a bottle of wine... Hope that works - really think I need to meet him soon!!

Giggly I think all us girls over analyse way too much. Do u Neiljames?

Pink I know I do whereas my boyfriend (that sounds so weird!!) says he doesn't with me. He said he has never had any doubts about me other than worrying about dragging me into the situation with his ex and all the complications with that. I struggle to comprehend that really as I work myself up into a totally whirl of doubts!

Well try not to spoil it cos my bf was same and I worked myself up with problems that weren't there which then caused real problems

Pinklaydee1302 - Are you asking do I over analyse or do I think women do?
Anyway, with me, it's probably that I misinterpret things that get said.

I think some of you probably do over analyse but there's nothing you can do about it. If a person is jealous by nature, no matter how much they'll try and convince themselves they'll change, they can't. Same goes for people who are very self-critical or possessive etc.
Unfortunately, the same goes for the other side of the coin. Selfish, thoughtless or vain people don't change either.

I'd always say just be yourself. If someone else doesn't like what they see, then they're not the one for you. I wouldn't be imagining different scenario's for what might happen in the future either. The reality is often not as bad as you've imagined. Just let things take their course and whatever crops up, you can decide whether you want to deal with or if it's not worth the hassle of dealing with it.

Bigbird01 - Sounds to me like you've got a penpal. You've dropped enough hints and suggestions. It seems like you're going to have to send him an invitation written on a goatskin parchment, wax sealed, ratified by HM Queen Elizabeth and delivered by horse drawn carriage before he grows a pair of clockweights big enough to ask you out.

Cani Yes, I do think that you are maybe thinking too much about the "what ifs" right now. I was similar in the sense that, I do not want OD to change me as a person as well. i.e. the misleading thing. I guess you got to ask yourself how to achieve the goal of not appearing as misleading ? I would say that being honest with your feelings and expectation is a good thing.

By the way, you mentioned that it has been a month, and that you guys saw one another a day a week. Let's reflect on that. That is 4 days in someone's life. Can you truly give your heart or to be in the same emotional wavelength by meeting them for 4 days only ? Even when you connect with someone, then there is the actual cruising bit of to/fro interactions. I would just treat it as meeting a new friend, and see where it goes from there. When you meet a friend, whether female or male, wouldn't you actually try and be nice and then see how the other reciprocate and slowly build in common grounds and then emotional connection and then you see if the other person actually reciprocate and care for you as well in a heartfelt well... etc etc ?

I have admit that, this was what was missing from my interaction with my ex. It took us a long while, and it felt very unnatural between us in the beginning because he had done the dating thing longer than I have, and I had been quite guarded with my heart. But we got there. I would be gentle with yourself and go slow. Slow enough to let your heart catch up.

Feel like a pile of shite this morning,had the cheerio conversation last night,seriously my gut has been telling me things weren't right but I got a light bulb moment and decided I really didn't want to be a booty call,it seems I was right.
Bit of background,been seeing this guy for 7 weeks,only 5 dates, mostly daytime because of his shifts and my kids but finally realised that even on his days off he was always busy,only coming to mine straight from night shift for a couple of hours and off again.I know it wasn't going to be the big relationship as we had discussed we didn't want to jump into anything too soon,but to realise it was just fun is a bitter pill to swallow.Just wanted to get that out,good luck to all you daters :-)

It's true what they say tho because I'm being very cool with the two guys I'm talking to (because I'm not quite over my ex yet and just can't get up much enthusiasm) and they are both being very attentive and eager to meet up

Sorry Chairy, get back OLD will give u some confidence back

Thanx pink,a bit too fragile just now but still chatting to one guy who I really should have chose over the other,he knew about him too and is so nice :-)

Ah well it might take your mind off it for awhile then, it's what stopping me from breaking down crying every 5 mins

Pink it's the worst feeling ever,I didn't think I would feel as bad as I do,but need to get a big grip because I'm betting he ain't losing sleep or crying into his cornflakes 0:-))

Hello just checking in.

I was only seeing my guy 3 months but we used to see each other 3 or sometimes 4 times a week so when we split two weeks ago felt like a big void was in my life crazy I know but I believed he was the one for me.

Onwards tho....

I've given up really. I'm going through a "WAAAY too fat to fuck" phase - the kind where you think they are going to be embarrassed meeting you - so I'm not even engaging with OKC or anything. Trouble is, my libido is through the roof at the moment. What a dilemma. Wanting to fuck but looking too hideous to do so. (I had a WTF horror moment looking at some recent conference pics where I'm dead centre, fatter than everyone, and horrible. My face is ok, the rest isn't).

Having written that, I thought I'd just go back on OKC and be honest - and say that the medications I've been on have made me put on weight. It should filter a few people out. I really don't want to meet someone who thinks I'm gonna be a curvy size 14, only to find I'm much bigger.

Pink It's funny. What you wrote reminded me of a comment that my landlord said to me. "Treat them mean, keep them keen." I never understood what that meant. I think he means the girl should stay cool, and not care that much, and let the guy do the chasing and the suffering ?? It is tough when the girls falls for the guy first and the guy doesn't fall etc.

neil - you might be right. He came back first thing this morning saying let's make that drink sometime soon... I've left it all day and have sent a response saying tell me when. I know he is a little nervous about meeting (he has told me he's only met one person so far and they didn't click at all), but if he doesn't get the message I think I will give up!!

I know you said he's a nice bloke, Bigbird01 but you're probably best ignoring him now. When he gets in touch asking what's wrong, ask him if he's chosen a place and time for you to meet. If he says no, tell him to let you know when he has, otherwise, don't bother.

Blossom hello, how are you?

I've come back to the dating game but it's still rubbish.

Been chatting to a guy for a week, spoke on the phone, seems really nice but felt there was something amiss. He was relunctant to meet up. Anyway he's owned up today that his photo's are 3 years old and he's now 4 stone overweight.

Put me in a very awkward situation but turned it round on him and said what would he do in my shoes. He says he's let it all go because of an injury (previous marathon runner)

Oh god louby the guy I'm meeting tomorrow has a pic that's 4 years old n hasn't sent me another even tho I've asked and has been rushing to the gym a lot this week

Should I be worried?

Wondering if I am the only one who gets a little insecure when texts go quiet. I asked my boyfriend in a jokey way if he ever worried if I didn't text or reply for a while and he said he would just assume I was busy and he knew that I would reply when I could. So why do I assume he is going off me when I don't hear for a while!!

No you're not, I'm the same. A proper big ball of insecurities all waiting to pop out at the slightest thing!

As Justin Timberlake's new song. "Because love is an attachment."

I just turned down a guy nicely and then he replied because he didn't get it, and then he said something along the lines of "I wanna be with you forever".... huh ???