Dating thread 75

[DeliberatelyDreaming]

For everyone OLD or even RL dating. Tell us your stories, share your woe's and get and give support.

Why was it depressing Goodguy? It's supposed to be fun!

Talisa some of the women were lying to me and the ones who I did like lived to far away
Maybe I am too picky I'm not after a supermodel just someone who is kind caring and good company

1. Trust your gut instinct
2. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
3. Loo update is mandatory

Ok, I'm going to do a loo update then too.
I've got and developed my thick skin more by going out with another gf and we started to do really silly and domesticated thing. Hehe. We're umming and ahhing over juicers at the moment, and sewing machines. So we're both detoxing and stuffing our faces with veggies as much as we can.

On OD, I counted. In May, I messaged 9 guys. Only 2 responded. 1 is someone I know. He was kind of nice and we caught up a bit. But he hasn't continued to message me again. I messaged him first.

The 2nd guy, I messaged him asking him about something he wrote on his profile, and he has point blank answered it politely. I don't know how else to progress it... This is so strange. I don't feel any motivation or connection to message them any more. That is so weird.

On an odd note, there was this random guy who has not written anything much on his profile and he messaged me. He was fun. I teased him about why he hasn't got a profile. And if he was an axe murderer, he laughed. He wouldn't show a photo of his own face on OD. How silly is that ? He wrote to keep in touch, but I think it will die a sudden death.

What should I write to the 2nd guy ? He "seems" nice. But the mojo isn't flowing. Sigh.

Furthermore some of the women were quite rough and were not very nice people

How do you mean 'rough'?

If your not motivated by him Maisie I would leave it but if your interested in him just ask him is he intense how he is then see if the conversation flows

Swears a lot and encouraged their children to I'm not a prude but I couldn't date someone who swears all the time and encourage their child to think it is disrespectful to others

To be honest Talisa , I think I know what he means.

Maisie
Yep I love MN too, all my RLF are married and have been for years, so they can't really offer much advice as most of them haven't dated for 20 odd years, also they seen to think it would be great to be on your own...alright for them to say when the have a partner to share the highs and lows with. I wish I'd discovered it when I was having suspicions that my XH was having an affair.
Goodguy
I'm like Maisie I like what I like but I wouldn't say I have a type. I just like someone who you can have a good conversation with, someone who makes me laugh. When I was younger looks played a part, but now it's not that important to me. I wasn't attracted physically to the guy I'm dating when he contacted me on Match. I met him and really liked him but didn't think I'd see him again but I agreed to another date thinking we could just be friends as we got on really well. It was a slow start but I found myself really starting to fancy him. I'm not on line now, even although me and my guy haven't made any commitment to one another, it wouldn't feel right, but at the end up I did find it quite depressing. I took my friend to one of the Match nights hoping to fix her up, but it was all middle aged men, That she wouldn't have looked at anyway chasing young girls. So what is your other tact ?

Well, you can't tell sometimes. He has posted a photo of his muscles. So I can tell the kind of person he is. I like his profile cos he sounded more grounded.

Even my ex had a "nice" profile but he was so sarky when we interacted. Until I wore him down and he showed me himself. He told me later he had a wingwoman at work advicing him on OD too. LOL.

I guess I was bored when I messaged like 9 people. But these ones were the ones that I like the profile of. I almost messaged another guy who had nicer photos but he had crazy answers to some of his questions. I screened him out. I almost messaged him, but I didn't in the end after pondering. I think my veggie intake is doing me some good, cos I am clear-minded these last few days. Lol.

goodguy I find it depressing too - feel like I'm a piece of meat in a butchers shop. Much prefer RL encounters!

You ask about confidence and whether women find it attractive... Since I became single I have, so far, found one person truly attractive. It completely took me by surprise because he isn't outwardly confident like the sort of guy I usually find myself attracted to. In retrospect, I think there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. A lot of confident men end up coming across arrogant. This man doesn't - he is confident about general life, but also was able to articulate when he wasn't (not in a bumbling, nervous way - a very straight forward "I find that really hard because..."). These were 'insecurities' but his way of addressing them was to speak about them quite openly, as he did about his emotions.... I found that very sexy.

masie - I think you hit the nail on the head - it's men who understand themselves and know what they are about!

steelchic Ooo. He sounds nice. Keep him.
To be honest, I also don't like this "dating" culture, which I find myself in. I was and had been "meeting people" kind of person. It is odd to always see someone going on about dates, and what you should and shouldn't do , and xyz. It is doing my head in a lot. I like to keep things simple these days. It took me a while to even get my head around the whole OD thing. I kind of understand why now, but I am trying to go with the flow of it.

Steelchic
Probably meet ladies in pubs etc it cant be any worse than what I have seen online
I'm like you all my friends are married and they think I am lucky because I am single and free no responsibilities but sometimes you get lonely and it would be nice to share life ups and downs with someone
I am not desperate and shall bide my time and will get out more and see what happens
I'm a good conversationalist and like to hear other peoples views I'm not very good though at making people laugh thoughany suggestions but I do have a sense of humour!

I think if you're chatting to someone on line you get a feel for them. I only went on a few dates as I was a bit picky. The guy I'm seeing was the 1st to message me and my 1st date, but he made me laugh and was interesting from the get go .
I've also heard some stories about women saying they are younger than they really are. One guy told me he went on a date with a woman who said she was 48 she was actually 62 !! He was polite to her but didn't take it any further. I also heard a through a friend, her friend did the same knocked about 15 years off her age and put an old photo up her date wasn't as polite and didn't even stay for a drink. Why would you do that. Actually on the few dates I went on the guys seemed relieved that I looked the same as my photos !

I wouldn't exactly call it dating but I'll be going away with a few friends in July. They're bound to book somewhere like Faliraki or Magaluf.
I'll have to see what kind of shape I'm in when I get back.

I'm a bit like that big bird in that at first I am a bit shy but after a while I settle down and can relax and talk openly about most things
It interesting hearing your perspective on things
I'm not arrogant I think women think I'm too nice

Steel chick
A lot of the women put on old photos so when u meet them they look totally
I'm not shallow and I'm not after miss world but my attitude is that if I have been honest why can't they be

steelchic No..... why would anyone lie about their age ? This reminds me of a guy that I was kind of seeing too from my dance classes. He also reduced his age. (But why?) He was in his 30s but he said that he was around 25. That is the first time ever that I have met a guy lying about their age. Normally I thought it's ladies who did that. Anyway, in the end, I lost out to the girls in their 20s. "Then" he came bouncing back, and I deliberately rejected him. I don't think I can do dramas any more. He really broke my heart a lot. I really really liked him a lot.

RL encounters are better, but it's so difficult when you get a bit older. Where I live there are a few places with an older crowd but I think most men are married but how do you tell and also if alcohol plays a part that could be dodgey. I know you can't always tell online but at least you can get to know a bit about them before you meet up.

Goodguy I'm sure there must be a lovely girl out there for you, one that will appreciate a nice guy

I don't understand why you would lie either, I'd hate to see the look of disappointment on they guys face I mean it doesn't matter how well you look after yourself you can't pass for 48 when your 62.
Goodguy, I don't think it's being shallow, it's normal to expect someone to look like their photo

bigbird Yes yes yes. All that. A guy who can also express himself and his emotions is important to me too. Because, how do you know where you are at with each other if you do not communicate well ? Or to continue to second guess all the time ?

Goodguy So if you are too nice, what will you do about it ? One of my gf used to say that I was a doormat, but I'd soon changed that. So what have you done, or noticed about yourself and changed your approach or ? ...

Thank steel I'm Sure you will find someone too
When I used to go out I found it hard to tell the woman who were single also

Some of them now days are only interested in one night stands I'm not interested in that x

I'm not a doormat though I'm not gonna change for anyone
I know im a good person if they don't like me for who i am then tough
I am a very likeable person so I don't think there is much about myself I would like to change
It their loss my time will come

Women do find me attractive maisie but there not the sort of women I am attracted to