Being DRY

[Bigglesfliesundone]

This is the fourth thread for those of us who want to abstain from alcohol completely.

It's an arduous path at times, but we're still here!

We know how easy it is to slip, and how hard it can be to stay on the road, but we also know that we can't drink 'just one'.

The thread motto is 'Watch the film to the end'



Come and have a coffee!

[PearlofStupidity]

Biggles, thanks for that it was needed

Haggis, hope it helped telling your sister, I still haven't said anything to anyone bar going this month AF, thanks for the well wishes. The demon is properly bugging the hell out of me today, grrrr!

[Salemthecat]

Thanks Haggis. Well done for telling your sister, I'm glad she was supportive.

I'm thinking about going to an AA meeting tonight. I really feel as though I'm at rock bottom. Keep thinking about all the really shameful and embarrassing things I've been doing on nights out. Does this stop? Will I stop beating myself up about it? I feel like I deserve it for being such a horrible person.

[Haggismcbaggis]

Salem - what have you got to lose by going to a meeting? Whatever path to recovery you chose - those feelings of shame and regret will pass. They might be a reason not to return to the way things were before (I can think of some mortifying and awful things I have done drunk - and in some ways they help keep me sober). But you should learn to forgive yourself as the depressive cloud of alcohol lifts. You do a survey of a group of people 6 months sober and I'll bet they all say that life is overall much much better.
Please try not to beat yourself up over what is past. I think you are incredibly brave, coming on here, thinking of going to meetings, just doing stuff to actively stop this happening again. Loads of people wouldn't be doing that.

[Fattymcbatty]

Excellent advice Tortoise, thank you.

I'm really struggling this, I would so love a glass of wine, or two .

[Fattymcbatty]

^ this evening, that was supposed to say.

I think it's passed. I have made myself and hubby each a giant fake g&t, using monin, tonic, lemon slices and ice - it's lovely and I don't even like real g&t! Think I just wanted that felt 'grown up' for the evenings, it's hit the spot and later I will have a cup of tea with a choc stirrer. Feeling happy again - for now.

[Tortoiseonthehalfshell]

Well done Fatty (I do hate calling people that). It gets so much easier, I can't even tell you.

Skippy, 25 lbs is inspiring! I did 5:2 last year, while I was still drinking, and it worked for a while but the reason I fell off the wagon was all down to the alcohol - I sometimes couldn't bear to fast with a hangover, or if I'd been sober the day before a fast day I wanted to drink that evening! I'm thinking of taking it up again though. I've lost 10 lbs since May, just calorie counting; it's so much easier to diet when you're not drinking, it's unreal.

(But I wouldn't suggest that anyone who has just given up booze try it, honestly. You need to be kind to yourself and treat yourself for a while. I was three months out)

[Haggismcbaggis]

I'm doing 16:8 at the moment (not quite up to 5:2 for the moment). For anyone that doesn't know it's 16 hours fast and 8 hour window in which to eat. So, I don't eat til 12noon and then make sure I have nothing past 8pm. It's good for gradual weight loss. And like most things - is way easier when you aren't drinking!

[CornChips]

I am doing weightwatchers....... that is also easier when you do not have to count booze points (which for me went ; '1 glass of wine 4 points. 2 glasses of wine 8 points. 3 glasses of wine, oh fuck it, I'll start tomorrow'.

[Fattymcbatty]

Hi, how is everyone today?

Just wanted to share a few random thoughts that have been popping into my head over the last few hours, hope you don't mind!

1. The phrase 'fake it til you make it' - this is going to be my tool to get through the next few social events I have to attend (first one is this coming Friday). I will plaster a smile on my face and say 'a soda and lime for me please' and I will convince myself and everyone else that IS all I want and that I DONT want to be slurping down the wine everyone else is drinking. I will fake it until this really is how I feel.
   

1. I was sitting here feeling a bit down and thinking about Christmas (why do I keep doing that in July?) and about the fact that, before I took the decision to give up booze, DH and I had promised ourselves that next Xmas we would treat ourselves to a really expensive bottle of wine or bubbles (or two, obviously). Ohhhh. I was really looking forward to that. But then I thought, I will spend the money we would have spent on bubbles on something really nice for the house - a beautiful candle, a centre piece for the table, a new picture or some new wine glasses. So that's that dealt with.
   

1. Third random though that is we are having a takeaway tonight to celebrate our anniversary. There are quite a few Indian take always around here but we usually use the mediocre one as it's the only one that delivers and we're usually past the point of being legal to drive by the time we want to eat. Tonight, however, we can use whichever place we want as one of as can drive to get it! (DH has not made the same decision to as me, to completely give up the booze, but he is cutting down and abstaining for a while to support me).
   

Had another thought but have forgotten it! I'll come back if I remember :).

[darkness]

How do you get through Christmas....?
Well you wake up early and are excited for your kids and you all rush downstairs to see what Santa left..you don't start the day with a hangover and resenting them for waking up so early.
You open gifts....thoughtfully chosen ones. No late night booze fuelled trips through the internet and unexplainable decisions that seemed quite reasonable after a glass or two .and they are carefully wrapped with all the right labels on them, as you have several extra hours a day now your not drinking. Possibly even a little more expensive as you are now unexpectedly better off.
You throw a few are prepared things in the oven and go for a walk, as a family, or try out the new bike / skateboard / game..you laugh together her, because things are relaxed and easier..your behaviour is more re predictable and people find you easier to get along with.
Lunch is easy..? Who knew. The arriving relatives are much easier to deal with..far less irritating when not seen through the bottom of a glass.
You eat rubbish and watch TV...you could stuff your face with cp all day..your still 1000s of calories less a week..oh and you look great in that dress you treated yourself to...paid for by all that wine you didn't drink"
You play more games..eat more ..kiss the family goodnight and put some exhausted kids to bed..they get a special story...because you've got time and this year you've not ended the day passed out on the sofa...
And you wake up the next day without anyone you have to apologise to..
That's how it is...Bl*y wonderful

[Imfeckinpetigo]

Darkness that made me cry, thank you.

[Lucy2610]

Brilliant darkness and welcome! :)

[Haggismcbaggis]

Thank you Darkness!

[darkness]

AW..I'm embarrassed now

[Fattymcbatty]

Thank you Darkness, that's exactly what I needed to read. Have taken a screen shot to keep

[CornChips]

Morning all[ waves]

Happy sober days. :)

[beachywaves]

Hi everyone - can I ask a question, though it may have been asked before? Have any of you tried moderating your drinking in the past or are you of the opinion that it is "all or nothing"? Do you know of anyone who has managed to do this (or am I kidding myself and clutching at straws!)? I feel I probably know the answer, but would be interested to hear other peoples thoughts.

[Lucy2610]

beachywaves Tried it for 5 years as I didn't want to have to give up completely. Tried absolutely everything to no avail. Giving up was the best thing I ever did and it's been 10 months now and feel great. Wish I'd done it sooner! :)

[Fattymcbatty]

Morning all,

Beachy, I think it depends on the individual. It wouldn't work for me as I'm an all or nothing person. My DH, on the other hand, will be able to cut down with no problem.

[CornChips]

Does not work for me either as I am also all or nothing. My DH also can moderate very easily. His brain is not wired the way mine is! Similarly, he was a social smoker and social cocaine user for 20 odd years ago and then just gave up without even thinking about it.

I do believe in the idea of an addictive brain.

[CornChips]

The other thing about moderating for me is that it makes me think about alcohol all the time. Where and when I will drink. How much I will drink, or not drink. if I have kept to the plan this week, or this day. I dont like alcohol taking up that amount of space in my brain.

[Bigglesfliesundone]

I tried moderating for years. It's just not going to happen :( I would start off thinking, right just on holidays, just on holidays and weekends, just on holidays, weekends and Thursday (as Friday is my day off), just on holidays, weekends, Thursdays and Mondays (after a stressful day at work), just on holidays, weekends, Thursdays, Mondays and Ooo, birthdays and anniversaries of course; getting my drift? . Bit like the old lady who swallowed a spider.

I would love to be able to be a 'normal' drinker :(

[Bigglesfliesundone]

Wow Merlin thank you! I am up to almost nine months now and really excited about getting to a year!