Being DRY

[Bigglesfliesundone]

This is the fourth thread for those of us who want to abstain from alcohol completely.

It's an arduous path at times, but we're still here!

We know how easy it is to slip, and how hard it can be to stay on the road, but we also know that we can't drink 'just one'.

The thread motto is 'Watch the film to the end'

Come and have a coffee!

Well I made my (pathetic), first goal for the day - was showered and not stinking of old booze (well I hope not anyway!), wearing clothes rather than pyjamas/what I'd slept in when my neighbour called round to collect the DC at 8.30am. Been waving them off from the doorstep as too embarrassed/paranoid otherwise. It's a small thing but I am hoping lots of small things will chain together :)

Lucy thankyou so much for asking about my 'shakes' - they are actually not too bad 'this time'! So far anyway. I have spoken about them to my doctor on previous attempts - we're not sure how much of it is the drink, how much is anxiety (I get very distressed/anxious when sobering up - part remorse and part the depressive effect of alcohol, find it hard to sleep etc), and how much is due to other medication I take. But I have some medication to take in 'emergencies'. I did manage to get some sleep last night which always helps. It's sunny out too and looks like a nice sort of day for a day one. Hopefully my last day one!

Thanks for the welcome and wishing you all a very good Thursday.

Evening ladies!
Lastday You're welcome and small steps is good :)
Biggles I struggle with the fags more than the booze tbh and if I was going to relapse now it would be them for me too so totally understand. Weirdly I would feel less bad about smoking than I would about drinking again!
Kate sober holidays - the final frontier for me to conquer at the end of this month ... well done!
Some big sober numbers on show today - me I'm approaching 300 days too
Don't really do the recovery lingo but I heard one recently that I liked 'if you spot it, you got it' as in things you complain about in other people

Hi.
Checking in.
Agonising about:

barbecue saturday
family do weekend after
camping trip

lots to manage although - although! - trying to remember that it will be more manageable sober.

Oh yes, also the work thing next week goddarnit.

Sorry to post and run. just wanted to come and see all your lovely virtual faces and say thanks for being so ace. I am going to collapse asleep now

AND - you don't have to worry about all that stuff in the future now. Keep it in the day. Go to bed sober tonight and worry about tomorrow when it comes. One day at a time and all that. Does help, honest! Nighty night.

Biggles, you poor thing, you're having a bit of a crap time, aren't you? What have you done to ward off the smoking cravings before? Have you used those e-cigarette thingies?

LastDay, I don't know where you are, but if it's Australia, hello!

Good morning everyone. Hello and very big welcomes to everyone new. :) [cheers and pompoms. ]

I am here, reading. Not posting because I am really struggling right now. My general low-grade depression has made a reappearance and I have been binge eating in an effort to avoid booze and still dampen down on my feelings. It is the same thing...... cravings, binge eating, momentary relief while eating, feelings of shame, hiding the evidence (an entire chicken), waking up with regrets and self hatred

God I feel so stupid. I had a sip of DH's wine also (an BIG BIG sip)on Wednesday.

So, reverting to my favourite avoidance at the trigger times- pick up DS from school. Drive an hour to my favourite beach. Play on beach until danger zone passes. Drive home.

I think I will buy that book mab. I am reading a lot of sober blogs and books at the minute.

I have 2 weddings coming up that I will be doing sober. Summer is difficult! Some friends are still having difficulty with me being sober, someone sent me a lovely text saying that as I did the holiday sober, I have proved my point. I am really worried that these friends were drinking buddies. I am sure I am over reacting but it is a niggling worry.

Anyway, morning all, hope you are all well xx

Morning everyone
Hey corn, I know exactly what you're saying - just bingeing on anything to fill the hole! I need my head sorting out I really do. Bloody depression!

Nhs has phoned and cancelled my appointment this morning. Was all showered and ready to go. Feeling positive, day 4 etc. Not seeing them now til the 17th and between now and then I've got a mums night out at the kids new school(have just relocated) where I need to be making friends with mums who sound like they all love nothing more than bonding over a few bottles of wine - and also a friends birthday meal. Plus H's family are coming down on the 18th for a boozy weekend.

Feel like I'm free falling a bit without support in place

Anyway, good excuse to clean the kids bedroom and do some hoovering now as I'm not going anywhere!

Have a good day everyone x

Oh boo they cancelled your appointment. Try not to let it distract you. You CAN do this.

First exposure to people drinking. Yes, it's really worrying. I know I still get a bit jittery when i know there will be people drinking around me. Unlike some people, I do tell everyone I'm not drinking and why . Although most of them know me from the old days and are just relieved!! It helps I guess to just focus on the actual reason you're there - meeting up with people, celebrating something, that's the reason not the drink - hard though.

I had my last cigarette and that will be it (I hope). I am on lozenges anyway (probably shouldn't be, but they really help) so I'll just continue with them and hope for the best.

Happy sunny (here anyway) day all x

Hi all.

cornchips, you're doing great. Well done on getting out to the beach. that is fantastic clever coping and giving your dcs great memories.
I hear you on the food stuff.
and Lucy on the derma whatnot stuff too. cuticles. endless.

kateissotired, which book?

biggles, hang in there.

thenamehaschanged, hold tight. can you round up some real life support - someone to phone over the next few weeks around these events?

hi to everyone else

I am really struggling with anxiety this morning. I have a lot of of work to do and not engaging with it because any time I get near to digging in, my heart starts pounding and I float off onto the internet and it feels worse and builds and builds - wish me luck - I HAVE to face this

Have a good day all
x

Biggles mean't to say yesterday to try the lozenges - I gave up over 18 months ago and am still sucking away on them. Glad they are working for you too!
namechanged bugger the NHS cancelling on you :s
mab cuticles here too
cornchips oh to be near a beach today :)
Need to cook the DC's food ....

OK so I am going to have another rant. Boiling hot day so dh says I really need a drink. Absolutely no problem - go to the pub. This is about 4pm. As I say, no problem at all. He got back a while a go, obviously having had three or four (always lies about the amount, dunno why, what's the point?) he had stopped at sainsburys and was moaning about how little had been reduced. in a JOKING manner, in said 'you should drink more, then you wouldn't notice the prices'. He is now in a filthy furious mood, had a go at me said he might as well NEVER go out etc. FFS. I spend every bloody day sober, I don't care if he goes out, he obviously thinks I am clock watching and drink counting, which I'm not. I put up with his dullness through drink most days and I am not being bloody treated like this because he clearly feels he shouldn't be drinking so much. why he feels that I don't know, but can a drinker and a non drinker really work???

Well he ignored me all evening and slept downstairs - got up and he has buggered off, no doubt gone shopping into make me feel bad. I know this is a contrast to me gushing about how wonderful he is recently, as my mother would say serves me right for showing off . I am not backing down though. going to be a fun weekend.

Oh Biggles I'm sorry to hear that you're having a hard time with DH and this isn't a result of you showing off . As to the question about drinker and non-drinker working I can't really answer that question. I know I would have found it difficult. Can you do some nice treaty stuff for yourself to make the week-end more bearable?

oh biggles, you will probably tell me to f**k off, but you're heading for a crap weekend and thus the possibility to drink on it, would you rather be right or happy?
Wouldnt it be easier to say sorry for our misunderstanding, please can we put it behind us.this way you are not saying you were wrong or he was wrong, just lets not ruin a weekend
would you rather be right or happy usually leads me back to serenity pretty quickly xx

Quick check in. Have been reading not posting.

Biggles I'm struggling with my H drinking and me not. For lots of reasons (not temptation) just the lethargy it creates in him. Also I can't share a bed with him when he's been drinking and I haven't as the snoring is totally unbearable. I don't know what the answer would be.

Cornchips - and everyone struggling - hugs. Big hello to everyone new. Stay here - it's great. I've been struggling too in ways that sound very familiar. Overeating, not able to get dine to work. But I have 3 weeks as of today. I've been on BFB on Facebook a lot and I've deliberately adopted the term of phrase in terms of counting days/weeks. For some reason I like it. Makes me think of my (very new) sobriety as a little thing to be cherished.

Sonlyme are you there?

Well, he came in after shopping and said ' morning stroppy' which was his way of starting the road back. I just got teary and cross trying to explain how I feel (should have done it months ago, I know). He can't be responsible for how I feel, I know that... I will not drink, I will find a way through this.

Thank you. Gah, one thing after another going to see a sports injury chap this morning who is holding a free trial appointment. Hoping I may get some answers and be able to run again!!

Hi all! Thank you for everyone posting here, I am finding if very helpful. I had a binge on Tuesday so today is day four again. I read this today from the Mumsnet Bloggers afteralcohol.wordpress.com/2014/07/03/playing-the-film-to-the-end-the-actual-end/

Very powerful stuff and the comments after were inspiring to me too.

That's our Tortoise noshow. :) I feel proud like a mother. :) I love her blog, and Lucy's. Everytime they post I read avidly. :) Tortoise also did a post bit ago that I actually cried over... called 'sun sand and sauvignon blanc'.

Hugs to everyone who is struggling. I am really really really struggling today. It might be an hour by hour thing. Am supposed to go out for dinner at friends (big drinkers) tonight. Dreading it - love our friends, but feels too soon and I am too fragile for it. I'm going to tell thm I am doing Dry July.

Sorry Biggles.

Hi the blogs are wonderful- definitely keeping me going in between meetings. Fab stuff

totally fantastic blog! Thank you - day 5 here, fought a couple of strong cravings earlier, so glad I did - now sitting here with an elderflower spritzer thing and the kids watching despic me 2

Have a lovely weekend everyone x

sitting in my garden under my gazebo, a gift to celebrate my sobrierty, drinking lime cordial and soda watching my boys play under the sprinkler. grateful to be watching them, grateful to know I'll remember watching them

Good morning all!!!!

This morning I am Mrs Smug from Smugsville. :) Had a great time last night, and was alcohol-free. Lovely time with my friends. When offered cava I said 'could I start with something soft?' and they provided ginger cordial (from Belvoir) with ginger ale and a squitz of lime. God that was lovely. Then switched to water. Honestly did not feel any pangs for the really lovely wines they had. Lovely meal. I was quieter, not as full on as I usually am, had some really decent conversations with people I have never met. Learned alot about things I know nothing about, and just felt really good. THEN i could drive the babysitter home. Result.

Feeling great this morning.

The last few (several) days I have been feeling resentful in a foot stomping way 'It's not fair!'. Why can't I drink like normal people too? Last night I could honestly say that i had a much better time than if i had drunk everything in sight. The pink cloud might be back. :) Today I am feeling fabulous.

Hope everyone is fine. :)

stayingdry- a gazebo is a wonderful gift to yourself.

Fantastic!!!! such a result! and how great do you feel today???

Brilliant Corn chips! Liking the idea of Sobriety Gazebos too ....