Being DRY

[Bigglesfliesundone]

This is the fourth thread for those of us who want to abstain from alcohol completely.

It's an arduous path at times, but we're still here!

We know how easy it is to slip, and how hard it can be to stay on the road, but we also know that we can't drink 'just one'.

The thread motto is 'Watch the film to the end'

Come and have a coffee!

Hi all

Haven't checked in for a while. Still not drinking - it is almost half a year since I had my last alcoholic drink on 31st December 2014.

Alcohol no longer plays any part in my life. From 4 (or more ) bottles a week, month in, year out ... I am now down to nothing.

Unfortunately I gained 15lbs in the months since I packed up, because I simply replaced one addiction with another and developed a taste for cake, sweets, and stodgy foods and lolloping about on the sofa.

On 9th June I started a serious weight loss regime - signed up to a website, started logging my food, exercising daily, going to yoga and pilates classes, and I am delighted to report that in 19 days I have lost exactly 4.4lbs as of this morning's weigh in. I've got a long way to go, as despite the additional 15lbs gained after I quit the booze I was already about 20lbs overweight, but I am now determined to shed all of it.

Giving up booze was the first step in a real transformation for me. I am unrecognisable from the smoking, boozing, self-indulgent, miserable sloth of a couple of years ago. Now I eat healthily, drink gallons of water, go to yoga classes and exercise regularly.

I've still got lots of changes I want to make in other areas of my life, not least to my working life (which I am coming to hate). I've been self-employed for the last 20 years and while it was great while my kids were growing up, I am so sick of what I do now, and have all sorts of dreams and plans of other things I want to do. I am determined to set the wheels in motion to start making those changes, but first I want to tackle this weight issue. One thing at a time as they say. First the fags, then the booze, now the weight, then the job!

I am going to repeat the same old cliche that I repeat every time I come on here 'If I can do it anyone can', because it is true.

Good luck everyone!

Font
x

Hi everyone. Merce - massive massive hugs. I can't imagine how worried you must be - but on the "positive" side - the school seem really on it, as do you guys. And How good that Lucy is professionally involved in this field and can help. I really hope all goes well with the child psych.

My son has ASD and developed trichotillomania (severe hair pulling - he ended up with a monk bald spot) last year (he was seven). Thankfully in his case the hair pulling was quite easy to stop - but it did lead us to end up getting help, realising he has a lot of anxiety - and in our case, finding out that he has aspergers which we didn't know before.

Fontella - as a newbie it's wonderful to hear from someone with long term sobriety. Sounds like you are finding the strength to make lots of changes, one at a time.

Hi to Mabs and Cornchips and Annony and Lucy and Biggles and Noshow everyone who is looking forward to a sober Friday. Or at least taking small steps and getting through the damn thing.

Tortoise - hmmmm tricky to get a place to write that ain't a pub. No libraries open late in your area? You have such a talent for it. I'm so glad you are pursuing it.

I'm pretty good. Have had two nights out in a row with school mums (different groups). Last night, there 8 of us. And do you know how many bottles of wine were consumed? One. One I tell you. Gosh, how stressful that would have been for me in terms of way too little if I'd been drinking. Really enjoyed the night. Miss that "social lubrication", but I did laugh and I didn't feel that edgy.

Tonight, yes my third night out (in the guidebook of how NOT to approach your second week of sobriety) I am out with my 2 best friends. Again I'm driving, and I've pre-warned them by mentioning I was driving. Cue - emails of shocked horror (unsurprisingly given how much I drink) and assumptions of pregnancy. I will tell them at some stage real reason but for now I said I'm doing a 100 day challenge for health reasons. My friend said 'oh I do hope you are not going DRY on me". I laughed and inwardly said "if only you knew. Yup, dry as a bloody bone my love!"

Only other thing, I seem to have this PAWS thing. Completely forgetful. Way more than normal. Which is saying something. Presume its PAWS ...

Anyhow enough waffle from me. I hope everyone is ok. Sonlyme do check if you feel you can.

Hi everyone. So love checking in and hearing how you are all doing. Thanks so much for support and lovely comments re. our boy. Haggis, I know what you mean about the issue (hair pulling in your case) meaning you got help and identified the level of anxiety (and in yr case aspergers). I have been aware that DS is quite highly strung, fretful, quick to anger etc for several years. And when we got an ed psych report done about 6 months ago it explained a lot. V. high IQ, but really low processing skills (auditory and visual) so massive disparity in real ability and what he can produce on paper. Apparently when there is a big gap, it tends to manifest itself in major frustration/rage etc. So all fell into place in a way. DH has a real horror of anything 'therapy' related and sees it as as intrusion into his privacy/general quackery. He is a wonderful man and highly intelligent, but is just rather obtuse on this area and always has been. I, on the other hand, have benefited over the years from excellent shrinks….. Anyway, long way of saying that I have to be really careful managing the process because DH is keen to sweep things under the carpet and I suspect if there are any signs that DS is 'ok' then he'll be keen to put a stop to the child psychologist sessions. DS claims it was 'nothing', he was just experimenting etc, but am not buying that obv. So we have a session with the psychologist next week and if honest I am actually pleased it's come to a head so we can help him cope with his emotions and work on handling life better; he finds it such a struggle, poor lamb.

Sorry - massive post there and v. much off message in that zippo relation to booze!!

Meanwhile DH has taken kids off for tonight and most of tomorrow so I can revise for exams next week (GAAAAAAH) and here I am posting on MN. Draw your own conclusions .

Loving wave to all x

Hi, remember me, not been about for a couple of months, but still sober, 10 months now:)
Will read through when I get a chance, but hope all still going strong

Good morning! I thought of you all and this thread last night...I have been getting my shopping online for a few months now but last night I had to nip to the supermarket and I was shocked by how much booze there I'd ALL over the place! Pimms in the vegetable aisles, wine near the BBQ meats etc. I thought "why can't they just keep it contained in one place, then you can miss that section completely instead of having it in your face at every turn!"
Anyway I didn't succumb but this morning I woke up feeling hungover almost out of habit for a Saturday morning - weird!?

Merce - you sound like a fab Mum. I wish my Mum had been a fraction of your tuned-in-ness to me as you are with your son. Best wishes.

Hi StayingDry! Wow 10 months. What a wonderful achievement.

Noshow - I'm the same. What's with the no booze hangover!?! I woke up last sat am all pink cloudy. This am I have a mild headache. & my mouth tastes blue ugh. I think it's because I was out too late. Had too much sugar. Yup I have a sugar hangover!

Last night was my BIGGEST CHALLENGE YET - said in John Torrode Masterchef voice (snort). Out for dinner with my 2 best friends. One of whom is moving away quite soon so we are v emotional about that. But it was fine. I enjoyed myself - and they liked having my car parked right outside. One of them said - oh I know you will do your 100 day challenge. That's just what you are like. Which was really nice of her. Belle is right though - 11pm is about the limit really. After that they were becoming a tad repetitive ....

Merce - sounds like there are certain similarities. My DS has an uneven profile too. If you want to chat about anything related to that do feel free to PM me. My DH was very disbelieving when Ds was diagnosed. Apparently the classic scenario is mother gets on with it, researches loads, looks at different therapists etc. and Dads take their time coming to terms with it. I'm afraid I rather laid on the guilt by saying to him my very true fear - which was if he got to adulthood and was sitting in a room on his own, depressed as all hell, hacking into the pentagon website - and we'd missed a chance to help him when he was little due to our own hangups We'd never forgive ourselves.

Sorry very me posts. I hope a good Saturday is had by all. How is everyone doing? My aim for today = less sugar.

ooh, just realised I am 8 months today got a madly busy day with children and school things so will post later.

it CAN be done. xx

About to go and run the bar for the school fete! with two mummy's who know about my drink problem though so there will be no pressure. Also, just don't want to drink so hopefully all will be OK

Congrats, Biggies and good luck with the fete. Hope it's not pouring where you are

And many thanks for your kind words, Noshow. Inevitably I am blaming myself and worrying that I haven't parented well. Just trying to dig deep so I can be confident I am doing the best I can from where we are today. May well PM you, Haggis, thank you. Interesting about how the unevenness of profiles can create these problems; has been a massive learning curve for me (note - ME - rather than DH….).

8 months Biggles!!! . Well done you. Seems so....far away. 2 weeks here.

2 weeks is good. Don't knock it!!! You'll be surprised how the days add up. And anyway, we are all the same distance away from a drink at any time .I always have to remind myself of that - no room for complacency once I have decent time under my belt. In many ways that is when things get riskier actually as guard gets dropped and smugness can creep in.

Congrats Biggles!! Such a brilliant achievement :) Big sober treat time me thinks

Hi StayingDry. Lovely to read you're doing so well. You helped me in my early days.
Hi Fontella. So glad everything is going well.
It's just incredible how ditching booze can be the making of us.
I'm coming up to 4 months dry and feeling great. It's not always easy, and I am a little bit reclusive these days as social occasions that are based around drinking are hard. It feels so 'allowed' to drink that I don't know if I can trust myself. It would be so easy to 'just have one'. So my life basically consists of my family, my job and regular exercise. Right now that's more than enough.

Watching Glastonbury on TV and wondering what it would be like to do it sober.

Mistress Congrats on almost 4 months!!
I had the same thoughts watching Glastonbury last night and it made me all wistful for cider. 'Euphoric recall' big style - remembering when I was there drinking and all the years sat watching at home beer in hand. Don't miss the rain though so just try to think of the booze like the rain :)

mistress, nice to see a familiar name, and well done on 4 months
I remember the feeling of getting abit stagnant around the 4 month mark, had to remind myself what I had to be grateful for with sobrierty. Someone onhere wrote that a craving lasts only 10minutes as well, that helped. Good to read all the stories, thankyou

Just got back form fete. It was torrential when we started setting up - had to laugh to be honest, but dried out and was warm and sunny. Managed to pour beer and pimms and stand with my friends who had a couple of drinks, then went to the pub with dh and the two other families. Everyone had a couple of alcoholic drinks and I stuck to red bull!!

Felt very proud and very loved - no-one tried to get me to drink, or said anything, oh, actually, they all said how proud they are of me - they know my history pretty much.

Sorry to be a bit 'me' but it's a really good feeling. To all of you struggling, please stay strong. Honestly, it's worth it xx

Evening all! Today is one week for me. Feels especially weird not to be drinking on a Saturday night. I just learnt today that an elderly friend passed away...if it wasn't for this thread I would have had a drink, because who else cares? Thank you :)

Brilliant Biggles. It's really good that people around you are supportive. I've never drunk Red Bull without Vodka .... I must give it a go.

Noshow - we really really do care and are delighted for your 7 days. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.

Morning all.

noshow. So sorry to hear about your friend.

merce. So sorry to hear about the stress with your DS. The fact you are getting the help you need is proof you are a great parent. >

Hi everyone. Have been reading when I can, but have had the days swoop by a bit lately! Still sober, still okay. Got a bit bored and tired of it Friday. Went to our village fete yesterday- there was beer and cider everywhere and I was a little tempted, not badly though. Well done Biggles! Up at 4 30 this morning due to badly sleeping DS (well, 4.24 to be precise). and am so glad i am not up AND hungover! It feels like a little gift to myself.

Hope everyone is okay. Thanks everyone for posting, writing, sharing. It means alot to me.

Morning all. I have just been catching up. Merce, what a stressful situation for you :( It is so difficult when anything happens with our children. Our ds has huge anxiety issues, I had to calm him down last night as he was in such a state about the fact that he has a tennis tournament and a music festival on the same day at school this week. Trying to tell him it was the stupid bloody school's fault. Didn't help that both PE teacher and music master saying he is needed for both and will be letting them down. He cries at the drop of a hat lately :( 14, horrible hormones .

Evening! Biggles - I hope your DS is feeling calmer now. It's not easy being a child or a teenager. I wouldn't want to go back.

Hope everyone is doing ok. Hugs to all!

CornChips had a thread that Mumsnet put on Facebook! She's famous! It's very funny - about crazy things that happened at people's weddings.

Heading for bed soon. Feel bad - am spending practically no time with my DH at the moment. Find I really need to go to bed really early. Baby steps I guess.

The start of the third week for me. Feeling happy about that.

If anyone wants a funny sober blog to read - I can recommend the 6 year hangover. I am sure it's on Tortoise's and Lucy's blog roll. He's one of the funniest bloggers I know and you get a real sense of his New York life style. Sorry for no link but it comes up on google.

Love to all.

Haggis, try not to fret about barely seeing DH for now. As you say, baby steps. It's a massive life-style change and takes a while to get used to. It will all settle down in time - be kind to yourself! If honest I am still not the 'laugh' I used to be (ahem - or thought I was…) with DH in the evenings these days, but that is a small price to pay for the good stuff (like functioning in the mornings, just for starters….).

Waves to all - hope people doing well tonight.

Haggis here it is: 6yearhangover.wordpress.com He is damn funny

Agree with merce sobriety first and everything else second just for the beginning bit anyway.

Sober waves from me too and off to bed to read

Thanks Lucy! Good night all.

Yup, definitely on my blogroll!

Lots of happy positive posts around here, which is lovely. Haggis, to be honest I still see DH less than I used to, not because I'm going to bed early - that passes around 2-3 weeks out - but because I'm learning that one of my self care things is enforcing some solitary time. So I'm going out alone or shutting myself in the kitchen or whatever. However, when we are hanging out together, I'm far more present with him. I was drinking partly as a way to get the illusion of solitude; now I'm not, I'm with him properly. Also the girls. The inivisible glass wall is down.