Being DRY

[Bigglesfliesundone]

This is the fourth thread for those of us who want to abstain from alcohol completely.

It's an arduous path at times, but we're still here!

We know how easy it is to slip, and how hard it can be to stay on the road, but we also know that we can't drink 'just one'.

The thread motto is 'Watch the film to the end'

Come and have a coffee!

Hi. Day 3. Back later. Have a good day. X

Well done, Mab!

Sorry, going back to Mrs D..... If I managed to limit myself to one bottle then I thought I'd shown remarkable restraint. That was a 'good' day for me. Yikes....

Hi
Love the "more aware" point Tortoise. I still have tendencies to drift that way. I am in actual fact very self critical, very prone to over thinking, and in fact much too self centred and introspective - this is true; so at times I can find myself distorting that realistic assessment of my personality traits into "and therefore I have just created a problem where none really exists through self-analysis that other people don't bother with!" erm, no.

Great to hear from you all! Hi Biggles, Cornchips, Haggis, Merce, KeepOn, and all the others. Great vibes on this thread.

Sorry I let you down at the weekend.

I am actually now heading into what is almost the third day of a hangover. Although I am not sure that it is still a booze hangover; I think it might be turning into a general unhealthy feeling from eating crap and not being active enough for days - slobbing out through alcohol induced laziness basically.

I need something to keep me honest. I woke up on Monday thinking: I have read this so clearly and understood it: GET HELD and GET A REPLACEMENT. I have done neither. I need to fix this.

sonlyme, what day are you on now? I think you are day 4 one day ahead of me, right?

Have a great day everyone

I liked MrsD for a while - she was one of the first voices I came across in the sober bloggiverse - but after a while I sort of realised that she is not quite my kind of person quite so much. There are some bloggers I would so love to be friends with, I imagine I could talk to for hours till 2am. She is just one of those lovely people who are lovely but I don't quite click with... just not quite the level of edge that really makes me feel at home.

Now you lot, on the other hand.... ;)

Morning all. Have glanced briefly at Mrs D in the past but if she was only thinking about hiding bottle, well, blimey!! I recently came across three little wine bottles at the back of my cupboard from goodness knows when I would never consider me hiding them though, no,I was - um - keeping them safe from the children...

Oh mab, don't apologise, like I boringly say every time, it's hard, really hard. You'll do it though, you have that oomph, and you will .

Feel physically rubbish this morning, my hip is painful, I have a cracking headache and I am exhausted, Still sleeping poorly. I'm just waiting for my co-ordinator to come into work then I will probably go home, really short staffed this week, so I need to check she will be ok on her own with the two volunteers.

Gah.

Have a calm and sober day everyone. x

sorry mab, failing. yet again. drank yesterday. feel I can't/won't do this. wish I could be as strong as you lot. good luck everyone.

sonlyme, don't go. What is that statistic I hear about smoking? People try on average 15 times (or whatever) to give up before they do? Don't let a slip become a slide. Shake yourself off and come back. It is not a failure. This is a drug, it is not easy to loosen the grip of a drug. Be kind, schedule a treat for trigger times.

And I will take my own advice too,because since I have woken up I have been obsessing about white wine.

Sonlyme, can I suggest you look back through your past posts? They may give you some resolve and remind you why it's worth continuing down this journey. You CAN do it. Please don't lose heart. You deserve a better life without all the guilt, sickness and shame. And you can have it. Lean on us and keep on going. Maybe even check the AA website and see if there is a meeting anywhere near you today - often lots during the day. Might help to have some RL hand holding. Either way, we are here. No one judges (er - don't think any of us would have a right to even if we wanted!!), but pls believe me when I say a sober life really kicks the arse out of the alternative .Fight for it xxx

Come on sonly, hang in there. I'm there for you
talk to us

Queenmab, one definitely needs a bit of edge to keep talking till 2am. And can I just say that having read some of your very excellent work over on the FWR board, I would very much enjoy a talking-till-2am-session with your good self and some elderflower presse?

Oh thanks Tortoise! That is so lovely. You can have the elderflower pressé, I'm on the coffee if we're settling in for a long one.

Just checking in, thank you for the welcome.

Hi everyone. How is everyone doing? sonlyme, how are you? Rachael.... how are you doing?

I am having a by-the-skin-of-my-teeth day. I think I am starting to see a pattern now..... I am okay for 3-4 days, then have a really tough day. I have hung on though...... but am on my second cup of cocoa.

On the hiding of bottles people were talking about up thread- oh yes. Bottom door of my dresser. Even once DS's clothes drawer when he was a baby. I roll my eyes at myself now. I think I said on one of the earlier threads, I would put white wine in DS's sippy cup and walk it nonchalantly up the stairs to sneak it past DH. Good God, when I think of it now!!!!

One of the things Belle sent me in an e-mail is a sentence 'why would I break my sobriety for a wine I don;t like, to ease a mood I won't be in tomorrow?' I paraphrase. But that made alot of sense to me.

Anyway- hope everyone is doing well. Please, those of you who are struggling or have lapsed...please keep posting. We are all here and in the same or similar boat. We really can all do it together. :)

Just a quick to say hi to everyone. Going out with some girls from school. Normally quite a boozy gang. Wish me luck. I will head home if I'm not enjoying it.

Hi all. Hang in there chips. Good luck haggis. Hi noshow.
Bed for me in a minute.

Hi all- hope everyone is fine today. Boring day for me- lots of admin.

Hi Cornchips
Hi any lurkers.

I am bouncing back finally. It wasn't a good night's sleep as dd2 had nightmares, but I am ok anyway and feeling a return of a little zest in a small way

Shout outs to all dry ladies, have a good day

Lovely to hear from you, Mab. Good on you. The good feelings will come back, promise!

I am having hugely stressful time at the moment. Won't list everything as would be too dull and take too long, but suffice it to say have an exam TONIGHT, 2 coursework deadlines next week and another exam the Monday after. Plus, issues with my dad and his carer, an am dram performance (don't laugh), work deadlines looming (freelance stuff). And, here's the really hideous bit…. Got called into school yesterday by Head who said DS has been cutting himself with a razor he got from a pencil sharpener. In secret. In break times. FUCK.ING.HELL.

Obv we have acted fast and have an appt with an excellent child psychologist next week, but you can imagine how I am feeling…..

But through it all I know one thing… I would be handling it bloody badly (or frankly, NOT handling it) if I was still drinking. End of. At least now I know I can do my damnedest to do the right thing for DS.

Sorry if that was a downer, lovely ones. I am just so bloody grateful that the massive arse that is alcohol is not sitting on my shoulder threatening to wreck my attempts to act with love and strength. Sobriety may be tough, but it is just SO worth it.

Sorry for sweary rant - not hugely eloquent today…. Knackered!

xx

Oh merce, that sounds very hard. Good luck to you and your son

Merce sorry to hear you're having a crappy time. As regards your DS this is a resource that we recommend for young people who are self-harming www.lifesigns.org.uk/help/index. You might want to take a look or share it. As a clinician who deals with this regularly if I can offer any support prior to your appt with the clinical psychologist then please do drop me an email at [email protected] :)

Evening. Quiet here.
Hope all are well.
Thinking of you all, especially sonly.

X

Lucy thank you. May well email you - that is just brilliant. DS is only 9 and I think (new to this) that self harming tends to come a bit later normally (plus more common in girls). The school has been fantastic and we have an appointment for next week with someone who looks excellent . But will email you too - huge thanks. MN can be such a wonderful, supportive network sometimes.

Ouch, merce, that does sound hard to navigate, I hope you can get some clarity soon.

Haggis, how'd your night go?

I'm having all sorts of crazy writerly ambitions at the moment, not about writing an alcoholic memoir (a taaaaad soon for that sort of thing!) but a novel, and I have negotiated an evening per week out of the house to do so, and I just realised this morning that literally the only place open on a Monday evening, which will let me sit in its warmth with my laptop until 9 or 10 pm, is the local pub. Hmm.

Merce No problem. At work all day today but will pick up emails this evening.
Sober waves to all :)

Hi!
tortoise, I have been there so many times - not the local pub (though, yes) but the realisation that public spaces after work hours are always in booze fuelled environments.

In central london there used to be book shops with cafes open late, one Borders on Oxford St till midnight. I was gutted when that lovely idea went away.

Thinking about this I realise now how long I have been dimly aware of my drinking being problematic as it is a good 16 years since I first started looking for places to meet people and socialise that didn't have a bar.

You will have to build a shed and tell your dcs you have gone out.

I hope everyone is having a good day.

Hi Merce, Hi Lucy, Hi lurkers