Being DRY

[Bigglesfliesundone]

This is the fourth thread for those of us who want to abstain from alcohol completely.

It's an arduous path at times, but we're still here!

We know how easy it is to slip, and how hard it can be to stay on the road, but we also know that we can't drink 'just one'.

The thread motto is 'Watch the film to the end'

Come and have a coffee!

Thanks Haggis. :)

Wow! Lucy - isn't Mrs D just fabulous (as is her wonderful husband). Loved that VT and can't wait for her book. I really enjoy her blog too. Thanks for sharing that link.

Hope everyone is doing ok this evening.

Hey Haggis Mrs D is absolutely bloody amazing!! :) I just love her (in a sober blogger kinda love way)

Hi everyone. Just checking in to say good night. I love Mrs D too.....I can't get all the tv show though - it consistently stops at about 11 minutes in. I admire her courage- particularly as she and her DH are so high profile.

So much on the thread for me to read-but tomorrow. [yawn]. I am also on the tea. :) There is something so blissful so peaceful and so calming about going to bed with a cup of tea.

Love this thread. :)

Off to bed with some hot Choc. Discovered the reason yesterday was as tough as it was, was PMT. Feel better to know it was hormonal.

Enjoy your tea Corn chips x

I'll have to watch that interview when I'm not at work, thanks for the link, Lucy. I've never picked up any hint that her husband was a famous person before! I do admire her no end, and I'm more than a teensy bit envious as well.

Haggis, PMT is tough with the cravings! I always drank more, by quite a lot, the day before my period came.

Morning everyone. Loved your blog post (as always!) Tortoise. Um..... I have a huge bag of cross stitch in my sitting room, as clearly the sober me will be effortlessly creative. (And zen).

Baby steps again today I think- just focusing on the day I am actually living in. Have a picnic dinner planned with DS and a friend at the local park. The conscious changing of routine is really really helping.

Hot chocolate Haggis. Mmmm. I might buy some today. I never used to have nice treaty things like that as I was always saving my calories for alcohol. [snort]

Oh- yesterday I was having a manic day, so decided to have some time out and had a sandwich at a cafe. They had a whole range of specialty lemonades (maybe this is normal? Usually I am just looking at the wine list). I got all excited about the choices of lemonade on offer. A whole new world.....

Morning all. Thanks so much for posting the link to that interview with Mrs D. Hadn't come across her and will now check out her blog. Really was excellent. The only thing was I was ashamed to be faced with how much lower my rock bottom was. She was sobbing with shame at having hidden one bottle of wine once from her husband. She was up to a bottle a night tops. I hid bottles for years and was managing 2 bottles a night, if honest. Only goes to show, it doesn't matter where your rock bottom is -0 when you hit it, you hit it.

Great blog today Tortoise. I love waking up, hangover free, to read what some of these fabulous women in the sober blogging world have written overnight. That really resonated with me.

Merce - I know what you mean about different rock bottoms. We are all different, but share one common bond. How are you doing?

Corn chips, I'm with you on the whole world of amazing soft drinks. There really is some yummy stuff out there. I genuinely do look forward to my Reward (Soft) Drink at the end of the day, a fiery hot ginger beer or fizzy grapefruit. Well done on getting into the whole varying routine thing so brilliantly.

Some good stuff, I think I look a bit better. Less puffy. Have lost 2lbs without trying despite aforementioned nice drinks. Funnily enough I don't drink a litre of these drinks .

Day 10. Double figures at last.

Hope everyone is well. Hugs.

Go Haggis!!!

Yes - GO HAGGIS. And you are so right about the puffiness going. Eyes look bigger and brighter. I remember being delighted that my rings didn't feel so tight on puffy fingers. All that stuff.

I am sort of ok,thanks. Have a really tough 2 weeks ahead with exams and work deadlines crowding in. Finding it hard to be patient with DCs as so desperate to get back to what I need to do. Just not enough hours in the day - and I am not good at doing a half-arsed job!!! All or nothing, me?????

Happy sober day all you lovely people x

YES to looking better . I have always been really lucky to look young (good genes!) but since turning 50, the compliments I've had have been so good. No body thinks I'm 50. I put this down to stopping smoking, stopping drinking (absolutely!) and exercise. The lack of poison from alcohol really does make a massive difference, especially in the eyes and skin.

Best reason not to start again

God, I sound like I'm selling some elixir of youth 'roll up and get your Amazonian skin of rare crocodile serum, only $49.95 in 400 easy payments'

Lovely to hear you sounding so upbeat, Biggies!!

Oh no! Am I usually a misery? . I have been lately with my injuries and aging... Still, today I have decided that it is ok to be fed up at times, ok to feel down about life and ok to take stock.

My drinking used to define me, it was me. People from my old life only knew me as Biggles the pisshead - what's she going to do next?

Now, I am a running bore, the manager of a charity, mummy to the children and someone else entirely. I think I've been struggling with this new identity and been scared that I will lose me on the way, a big worry was losing my relationship with dh, but I haven't - we are still incredibly close, his drinking irks me at times but he isn't going to smash the place up or self harm after drinking all the alcohol in the house as I did several times . Tarring him with my issues annoyed and frustrated him, but I think we all do that to a point - I can't drink, so maybe they can't... Or is that just me?? If he comes homes in his giggly dull 'after a few pints' mood, me and ds now just mercilessly take the piss and he actually doesn't mind. When anyone ever told me I had drunk too much, I would go mad :( DH just lets it good naturedly go over his head!

It's getting to that point where I can remember the reality and find the inner peace (man!).

I am finally beginning to accept me as who I am now, oh, the me I was was 'ok' at times.., but I think this me may be better

No, not a misery Biggles. I know merce was referring to your frustration about the running. (My new skill- telepathy).

You're not a running bore either. I went for a cycle ride today......... first time in , oh, about 25 years. I was a little shaky, and could not let go of any handles in order to indicate, but I thought of you Biggles and thought 'cycling is going to be my running, Biggles'.

excellent!! I love cycling too. Only do 4 miles a day to work and back but it's soo good for clearing your mind. If I am in a real grump in the morning (which has been a lot lately!) I get on my bike, stick music on ( very bad I know) and cycle to work. By the time I get here, I at least feel a bit better.

You are HIGHLY skilled at telepathy, Corn!!

Yes - honestly was just meaning that, Biggies. Just that you've had your 'crux' taken away from you for a while and it can be Hell. Posting when one is feeling crap is essential! The release we all need. You are not remotely a bore; always enjoy reading your posts - whether you're up or down. Today just did seem particularly sunny and full of the joys of sobriety.

And when DH used to comment on my drinking, I went bloody MAD. Even on the few occasions I didn't let it show I was seething inside - thinking - no one tells me what to do etc. Talk about defensive…. Pathetic. Hey ho - we were all ill and enthralled to the poison. Useful to remind ourselves that it is a drug, after all. Good to hear Mrs D refer to it that way on her interview.

Yes, it is a drug that is prettied up in order to be seen as respectable with nicely shaped glasses, and so-called happy social occasions, and talk of citrus top notes and whatnots.

It's an arsey drug.

Did anyone hear on the radio this morning how the government is going to ban 'qat', as apparently it is addictive and is linked to social breakdown in the Somali community?

I was drawing a fair few parallels there.

DH used to know I would say:

'But I only had a harrff' when I fell in through the door/up the stairs/off my bike... Bloody alcohol. Grr, I want to be angry with it now.

Biggles, Corn and Merce - you are all both making me larrrrf and inspiring me this afternoon. Hurrah!

good

Manic day (as always). Hi all!
Mrs D? What did I miss? Linkypoos, please!

Sonlym, hope you managed another day (at a time). Biggles, hope you weren't feeling too low today.

Found link. Xxx

Haggis, ten days! Gooooooo you!

Merce, I had the same reaction to Mrs D's thing - she didn't even hide a bottle, she thought about hiding a bottle. Whereas...well, yeah. In fact I was all defensive about that originally, like "just because I am MORE AWARE that my drinking is unacceptable doesn't mean I deserve a LABEL". Seriously. I seriously went through a phrase of telling myself that the 'are you an alcoholic' tests were skewed unfairly towards people who were just more insightful. Dear oh dearie me.

My DH never did say anything to me about my drinking, although he did periodically say that he felt he himself should cut down (which basically meant, he couldn't keep up with me anymore). Now he has raised 'was it therefore partly his fault' for enabling me, and my reaction was 'this is not about you!'. Poor boys. Can't win.