It's lovely to have so many newcomers here. It really is a very supportive thread, and I'm so proud to be part of it.
I just wrote an epic post but swiped it off my phone somehow. So cross! I'll try to recap what I wrote.
Mab, your hormones do sound a bit all over the place. No wonder you were feeling low. I had to give up alcohol completely last year to get my beloved DD. Lucy, like you, not drinking made my cycles so much more regular, my moods better, pain and PMT were minimal. It's ridiculous how much damage heavy drinking does to our physical, mental and emotional health.
Someone asked about having alcohol in the house. Was it you Sonly? I did pour all the open spirits away in the first few weeks but that was more a kind of cleansing ritual than it was damage limitation, as spirits I can take or leave. We do have loads of wine in the house thanks to DH not cancelling the wine club order which I was a bit cross about. DH does drink but one maybe two beers after work and that's it. If he goes out, he'll get very drunk which I hate, but he knows that, so it happens very rarely. I realise that most of our heavy drinking was down to me being the ring-leader. I'd be the one who thought it was a good idea to walk to a local pub for a boozy lunch and stay there for hours. I'd get the Waitrose meal deal so we ended up with even more wine. He'd have some of the wine I opened with dinner, but I'd drink the lion's share. In fact, I'd use any excuse to open a bottle. If Mum popped round to see the DC, I'd open a bottle. She'd have one glass and then I'd finish it. All done in the name of being social and a great host.
All of that had to and has changed. I'm sure some of my friends and probably some of my hard-drinking family think I'm boring but I really don't care. I am in a very good place mentally and physically at the moment which should speak for itself. And like others, I've fallen in love with my DCs all over again, and my little family and my day to day bits and pieces fill my life wonderfully. Having said that, I do believe that if you are going to do this, some parts of your life are going to have to change, and that can be hard. It's all part of the 'saying goodbye to an old lover' part of recovery. I know that there are boozy London nights with my sister that I will never have again which is sad, but when I remember how most of them ended (arguments, tears, injuries, even a panic attack), I am not sorry to know I won't be part of all that anymore. I just found that the embarrassment and shame of it all was so horrifying. Getting smashed when you're in your early twenties is one thing, but as a professional woman with 2 DC in her thirties... No. Enough was enough.
Right, going to post before I rant on too much more.
Well done everyone. Stay strong. Keep reading and posting.
Let us know how AA goes Lucy.