The Dating Thread 74.

[MadeMan]

Hello and welcome.

Argghh! Was replying to messages from a decent looking man in my area before I looked at his profile. I will never do that again - he was holding the biggest fish!!!!

I'm 5 years over his age range so hopefully he won't message me again.

maisie meet them all once for coffee. I'm getting to that stage now. Then see who you click with in real,life.

Hm... yes. Ok. I get sentimental though, and nervous. It takes me a while to warm up to people as well.

Same here. I don't fancy anyone straight off, I have to know them first. I know when I've clicked with someone though.

I was thinking that too, so I'm thinking of coffee first with the one I'm not that invested in.

Yes, that is a good idea. More relaxing, and no pressure. Ok. Here goes.

Oo how exciting!

Lol....
Ok, no response even though we are both online. I will wait.
Ok, I will also send a message to the guy who had been checking me out a few times and I on him. Ok, let's see.

Maisie I have three pictures on one site and four on another. Sometimes I get asked for another which peeves me as I aint going to look any blooming different

Remember, there are men who like girly girls and men who don't. I don't believe any of us should have to change who we are to suit a prospective mate. Be true to yourself.

I firmly believe in coffee as a first date, I think it gives a quick exit if needed or a second, third etc cup if not. Dinner would make me feel trapped and the cinema seems mad. How do you get to know someone while watching a film?

Yes to staying true to yourself. It's taken me this long to find out the kind of person I am, so I won't be changing for anyone.

Though I do believe that each new person in your life, incl friends, can be a catalyst for change. So it took me to my mid 30s to learn how to control my temper and not sulk. That took a surprising influence that came into my life at that time.

And don't go ten pin bowling on a first date. If you beat him, he might be a real smacked arse about it.

I always get my purse out ready to pay half, but must admit the guy goes up in my estimation if he waves my purse away. I consider myself a feminist as well, so maybe I'm a bit confused .

Maybe I've read too many dating books (eg. Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man; The Rules; Why Men Love Bitches)...unfortunately it seems men really do like to be the hunter/provider when it comes to relationships. And I fail when I try to take the lead.

Ha ha ha brilliant Neil. I'll remember that one!

I have no problem paying half Mychild. It's nice to have a guy pay for you but I truly don't care either way. A date is a two way thing, so, if I pay half then I pay half.

Yes, yes, be true to myself. I really do miss my ex. I think we are so true to ourselves that we are too similar. I am not sure if I can find someone who can be so similar. It is so hard actually. I will try. I now realised that a few of the messages I got from a few users online were very kind and considerate. It's been a journey. Because I started to use this OD 2 years ago, just casually. Then I met someone in real life, which conflicted with 2 people I met online too, and it was too much for me to handle. Then I focused on the career again and ignored it all. Then coming back now, and seeing what I wrote has made me see how I responded, and why. It is starting to make sense.

Argh! Just spent the evening chatting to a really nice bloke. All was going well, then he asked how old my DCs were. He's not replied since I told him, but I can see he is still online. Was really starting to think he was different

Because they're teens or young bigbird?

maisie I don't think I want someone similar to me, rather someone who complements me, not completes me. I am already a whole (if slightly tired and maybe a bit bruised) person.

I think if he paid for a meal, I would insist on paying the next time (McDonald's )

5 year old twins rummi. Ahhhh!!! He's just replied. Damn - this is like being on a roller coaster....

Oh how lovely twins! And he replied! A good response? We all have our moments don't we. That's why this thread is so good.

Maisie I am all about the shortlist this time around as attraction is so complicated. Also it stops me emotionally investing too much. I had a short list of 3 for a while with dates but no physical stuff. It was quite liberating

It wasn't a bad response - he just asked if they were boys or girls or one of each (they are B/G). Wasn't quite sure if it was a catching his breathe kind of response. Yes - it's times like this that all the paranoia sets in and having others to talk to it about is great.

I've replied. Kept it very short and just answered his question. Give him chance to get his head around it.

Evening all, can I ask for a tiny bit of help?
The nice guy I've been messaging has maintained contact all weekend and now we're discussing a possible date. He's asked me what I want to do and I'm at a loss for what to say. The thing is, he's lovely but I can tell he's quite shy so I don't think a dinner date it going to cut it. Do I just suggest a quiet drink somewhere? Or do I suggest the cinema which is something I know he's quite into? I'm so out of the loop as far as this stuff is concerned!

Definitely not cinema pink - no chance to actually speak!
I'd personally opt for a quiet drink. A bit less pressure for both of you.

I definitely wouldn't suggest the cinema, PinkPeanuts. You won't get a chance to build up a rapport and also, if he's shy, he may still feel shy by the end of the evening if he's got the film to distract for most of the night. If you go for a drink, you can get over the initial awkwardness that may exist and then find out if you click in real life.

Dinner is too formal. I agree with a quiet drink or a walk in the park if it's not pissing down.

I agree with you all, have just suggested a quiet drink but can't think of where. He's irked me for the first time since we started talking because I hate the fact that this is all down to me! I know that he wants to meet because he suggested it first but I was sort of hoping he would take charge of this. Am I being silly here?