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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The Dating Thread 74.

999 replies

MadeMan · 04/05/2014 13:44

Hello and welcome.

OP posts:
neiljames77 · 11/05/2014 12:03

I'll be going in about 45 minutes. I might just wear a hat.

FolkGirl · 11/05/2014 12:13

Jarlin I really do hope so, I hate feeling like this! Although, last night was nothing like it has been... I am getting better. I think the difference now is that before the doubts crept in and they were overwhelming and only thing that made any sense, whereas now, the doubts creep in and I know that they are just my insecurity talking.

I think it's just that if I found out it was all BS and he was seeing someone else now, I don't think I'd ever get over that simply because I think he is trustworthy. If I found out he wasn't, I don't think I'd ever get over it. I knew my ex was a liar. I just didn't have the confidence to leave.

Good luck messaging Slow. Let us know how it goes...

Handful I agree. The other thing is that if I complimented by boyfriend he would ignore it. Or if I sent an email that was a bit flirty, he would just ignore it. I did pull him up on it a couple of weeks ago and he said it made him feel a bit uncomfortable because he didn't believe the compliment. I told him the correct response was "thank you" and that you have to smile and say whether you believe it or not. I can tell he's been trying Wink

Rummi you're right, it's so hard. I think the main thing is recognising that it is a hangover from past relationships and not punishing someone for someone else's misdemeanours.

neil good luck this afternoon! Wink

Rummikub · 11/05/2014 13:11

Wonder if Neil has managed to remain dry Grin

folkgirl I used to not know how to respond to compliments. I thought people were taking the piss. Until I read that by not accepting the compliment I was discounting the other person. It took awhile of saying an awkward thank you to where I am now. I still on occasion have that thought though of 'are you for real', but am able to sit on that quickly now.

Rummikub · 11/05/2014 13:14

By the way, what's the 'favourite' thing about? I've been a 'favourite' but not had contact from one of them. Confused.

Another guy has stopped messaging after being v attentive. I will not worry. Guess it's only been 12 hours...

whitedoorbell · 11/05/2014 14:16

rummi favourites and winks and blah wants to meet you is all crap in my book. unless they actually send a proper message it is a waste of time

neil hope you took an umbrella pmsl

Maisie0 · 11/05/2014 14:28

white I do feel embarrassed into admitting this. I think that is me. I sometimes want to message but then I chicken out. Then I read the profile again, and feel different again. God, sometimes OD makes you into a stalker. It is kind of like "window shopping" which is really bad in a way. I keep on wondering "Do I like this guy? He wrote this, and this. Do we have things in common here?" "This guy is younger, but this guy is older. Would we have things in common?"

I think I am beginning to look weird to these guys whose profile I have visited so far.

handfulofcottonbuds · 11/05/2014 14:42

I get annoyed at the adding to favourites, I think it's a little lazy as it's probably only to be able to view you quickly if they want to come back to you, kind of like a holding room.

If someone winks at me and I like them then I message them, if I don't then I delete. I'd prefer them to message me straight away but understand some might prefer to wink to get a reaction.

Rummikub · 11/05/2014 15:18

I'm not messaging anyone unless they message me first. Yeah, there's favourites and the would like to meet you nonsense. I guess it's like a preliminary introduction that you may or may not act on. I do like going through the pictures and saying yay or nay (shallow, I don't even look at the profile, unless I like the look of them).

Rummikub · 11/05/2014 15:19

'Holding room" Grin

DeliberatelyDreaming · 11/05/2014 15:41

Cough and cold finally getting better, so I am almost ready to go dating. I have the guy down the road, he has agreed to a date but nothing set up - dontya hate those? Chatting to two guys on POF, so hopefully I will have a date from one of those soon.

Good luck Neil. I'm lead to believe a pint over your head is not a pleasant experience, hopefully that doesn't happen. Grin

chairyhin · 11/05/2014 16:04

I love this thread even if I can't keep upGrin.I favourited one guy,he messaged me and still chatting now a bit more like pals thoughHmmI would so message first too,they could be thinking the same.Smile

DeliberatelyDreaming · 11/05/2014 16:24

Ok, I admit I will never understand men! One guy messaged me last week, we arranged a date then he vanished into the ether. Today, he has the bloody brass neck to message me "how are you?" I logged off.

theuncivilservant79 · 11/05/2014 17:31

Marking my place :)
2nd date on Tuesday with promising bloke Grin I have bought a statement necklace - I never do things like that! He is hot Grin

neiljames77 · 11/05/2014 17:34

Yaaaayyyyy! Inappropriate younger woman must have got the message and didn't turn up.
Double yaaaayyy! A nice woman is in there has took a bit of a shine to me and is inboxing my facebook.(she was wearing a football shirt and little denim shorts but she's nice and she's a good laugh)

Rummikub · 11/05/2014 18:02

Denim shorts good thing or bad thing? I couldn't tell from your post?!

Good the young un didn't show.

neiljames77 · 11/05/2014 18:09

Not really my taste (the little shorts) and she has a couple of little tasteful tattoos (not really in to them) but we had a laugh. We did a bit of kissing,(not the outrageous pda stuff, just a couple of little lip pecks when we were talking face to face).

Rummikub · 11/05/2014 18:12

Sounds like your into each other I think Grin

neiljames77 · 11/05/2014 18:22

Rummikub - She's probably just what I need right now. Been a bit down lately.

Rummikub · 11/05/2014 18:42

That's good then. Keep us posted! Hmm I'm wondering whether I need a relationship lite first??

Rummikub · 11/05/2014 18:42

It's not surprising you've been down lately with the stuff you've had going on. Wine

Maisie0 · 11/05/2014 18:47

Neil Gosh, that is fast. And here we are talking about the "holding room", the "favourite" place aka the "queuing place".

Ok, maybe there is a little bit unworkable with my approach. Possibly.

Deliberately Your comment made me laugh. Grin Ok, so you have frozened him already ?

I'm beginning to think that I must look quite weird then. Blush I have been checking on and off this guy's profile, and kept reminding myself by reading it to see if it makes sense. He wrote that he will make the first move because gentlemen does. But so far, he still has not messaged me. So how does that work if the girl makes the first move by messaging ? I don't get it. Then there is another guy that I do like, but his profile asked for dating someone who is interested in long-term only. But he doesn't have the right nose. (I've been trying to find someone with a similar nose type to me. i.e. similar features.) Is that too weird ?

SuperFlyHigh · 11/05/2014 18:49

Neil - get you!

I think she is probably is what you need right now… i'd doubt she's a forever partner based on what you've written but sometimes we need a diversion. Grin

Rummikub · 11/05/2014 18:52

What's important about the nose maisie?

neiljames77 · 11/05/2014 18:59

AND she didn't mind taking her turn to go to the bar.

Minime85 · 11/05/2014 19:01

yay Neil you charmer u. good stuff Grin