The Dating Thread 74.

[MadeMan]

Hello and welcome.

Well you know where we are, Jarlin

Welcome Peanuts Fingers crossed for you then

folk a great update and glad to hear you aren't going anywhere your advice is too good.

had a lovely lunch date with sporty today. he bought up arrangements for meeting up again and what we could do. told me he missed me without being prompted.

control the controllable.

find the gaps in between seeing each other so testing though like you said folk its like a rollercoaster

Just had a semi disagreement with him over bday gift he say not to bother ect but I said tough I got card lil white lie and I've promised you something
Lol
After a few texts ect I said I want to stupid lol but last text said c. We get fish n chips as well and you win nice to see jokey element back .

I've joined pof today so a new batch of men!
Quite like that the ones just up for nsa sex are a bit more honest about it than Tinder

So I'm talking to a geeky guy who looks cute, wanted to meet up tonight but I've heeded the advice further up and said maybe next week. Another guy who just wants nsa sex. He's handsome so might share a bottle of wine just to see if I'd like that! I won't, I'll chicken out but i like to think I could

Ahhhhhhhh......so I agreed to be exclusive with mr nice as we were both new to old and neither of us felt we could manage each other chatting to others. But today the most gorgeous man ever messaged me. He is so my type, blond, tanned, tall, muscly, Cover model for men's fitness. Omg!
My friend said to keep messaging him but I just can't do it. I have too guilty a mind and would just be waiting to be caught out. So I've had to message mr omg. To say best we don't chat as I'm dating someone from the site and wish him luck. Arghhhhhhh..... I may just have to deactivate my acc so I can't be tempted again. I bet I'll never see him again if it goes tits up with mr nice!

That's the way it goes.... but I like the fact that you did feel guilty. I never understood this feeling before. It is when you want to commit to someone, isn't it ? That is good news !

I have to admit, I am also still in touch with my ex, and he has also tried to stay sane as well. I did message someone for the very first time for like 6 months yesterday. I don't think I was very focused, cos he did look great, but is all the way over in NY. Omg. I think I need to cut there, don't I ??

cani that's lovely. Don't be tempted!

Ahhhhhh..... Installment no2"...........so there was something familiar about mr omg photo, plus he had 5 photos on his profile all with more than 1person in, meaning I was trying to figure out which one was doing the messaging and why one of them seemed familiar. So there's a photo of two of them holding up the magazine cover they were on. He had given his first name in his profile so I thought I would google the magazine cover and see if I could work out which one of them he was.
Wellllllll..... I found all the images from his profile on google. They are all of fitness celebs. The one who looked familiar was Jessie a personal trainer whose on tv a bit. And the other photos all contain various fitness American celebs. So clearly it was a false profile messaging me!!

So I am probably being really paranoid now but what if it was mr nice creating a false profile to check what I would do. Is there anyway I can find out?

Cani Oh my God. You know, at this stage. Cut cut. I have seen a couple of these random ones messaging me, and I didn't know what it was. Don't get curious at this stage. At least it is time to cut him out. Earlier this week, I had an "editor" messaging me and asking me to video conference with him. I didn't have the time at the time. Then he posted a photo like the next day or other, and then he disappeared again and disabled too. So...

You haven't done anything, don't worry. De register from the site.

But I'm really worried now that it was mr nice trying to see if I would chat to others. Even thought I said no and therefore have a clear conscious it doesn't help me to know if it was mr nice or not. If it was him I would want to know so I could ditch him.

Mr nice was on a 6 hr plane journey when I had the messages so I know it couldn't be him doing the messaging but he could have got a friend to do it. Omg do I just ask mr nice if he did it? Or should I just not mention it? Should I deactivate my acc or just leave my profile hidden? I've blocked whoever it was.
I know mr nice looked at my profile on facebook after our 2nd date to make sure I was who I said I was, as he told me. Maybe he has stalking tendencies. But then it was me who brought up the exclusive chat. Argh this is so confusing.
Are there many nutters old doing this type of thing?

I doubt he did it, or got his friend to do it. Is he a game player or quite straight?

I wouldn't mention it, it wasn't anything to do with him.

Oh. Well, in the beginning, I think you need to establish the trust thing, don't you ? So... why do you not ask him, and confront him and said, "did you check my Facebook" ? Even my ex actually "has" a FB account and I was there when I saw his login clearly defaulted in, and he said "no" to my face. Even when he like, wanted to tell me so much about these ladies of the past, and he didn't tell it to me. When we broke up, he then spilled everything.

I think I would not insinuate on things he did not do, but ask him to clarify on the parts that he did do. Maybe this can be the basis to open a discussion about the past ? The OD can be another layer of challenges too. That is what I am beginning to realise.

Take a deep breath, cani and think about it.

What is more likely? That you were messaged by one of these fake profiles that we know exist. I didn't ever get one, but a few of the men I met said they'd had them and it was really obvious - a photo of a really pretty woman and something that just didn't ring true. Then if they showed any interest, they'd be asked for money within about 3 messages.

OR

is it more likely that a nice man you've met has got his friend to set up a fake profile to test you?

Realistically, what do you think any friend would have said if they'd been asked? "Yeah, sure of course I will. Let's look online for some photos of celebrity personal trainers" or "What the hell are you on about?!"

And I doubt they'd have used photos you could find on google, because anyone setting up a fake profile would be paranoid about being discovered and using photos of models off the internet would be very strange. They'd be more likely to keep it very low key and either not put a photo on, or choose a picture of someone really ordinary looking.

I think you are really overthinking this!!

Rummi, up until now very straight, open with his feelings, messages regularly and given me no reason to doubt him. However I don't know him that well so he could be a jealous type as that normally doesn't rear it's head until the relationship is more established id have thought. I know he argued frequently with his wife as he said they just weren't working out and they ended up arguing over silly stuff. So maybe that could be something to do with him. But then again maybe not!

Why is this so hard? It's horrible not really knowing someone.
Maisie- we've already discussed the facebook thing. He openly told me he had peaked at it after our first date to make sure I was who I said I was etc. he was surprised I hadn't looked at his. I jokingly called him a stalker at the time for checking up on me.

Do you think someone checking someones facebook profile is weird? Could that be a sign?

Ok. So my chipper-ness of earlier has faded somewhat.

I emailed him at 7 and haven't had a reply. He was up quite early this morning, and out quite late last night, so it's possible he fell asleep...

but my mind is telling me he's out on a date with someone he met last night.

cani I don't think it's weird. Especially if he told you about it straightaway.

I googled everyone I met up with, including doing an image search on their photos. I met one man who was a solicitor and read reviews of his business too. I think it makes sense to check that someone is who they say they are.

cani I think it is more likely it was a fake profile and nothing to worry about. I too looked up man I'm seeing and told him that too. I wanted to see what came up when I googled him. he just laughed.

folk I'm sure its nothing to worry about at all. probably got involved in something at home that's all or maybe he is glued to Eurovision! I'm still managing control the controllable. lasted all of a day so far! but I have seen sporty today too so it will be Monday when I'm back to doubting [hmm

I don't think it's unusual to google and probably very sensible too. So this guy is nice, genuine and up front. He told you about checking you. This is unlikely to be his MO.

Kick that paranoia away!

Thanks mini.

He really won't be watching Eurovision though...

Or have got caught up in it.

He's either asleep or out or ignoring me. He doesn't have a TV, he watches films on his laptop, but he doesn't watch TV. So if he's watched a film on the computer, he will have had his email open and checked at some point in the last 3 hours.

He doesn't generally go out on a Saturday night.

that's what I find so hard when you know they are in and don't reply. what is it with men?

No folk, why are you thinking that? Probably asleep if he was up early. Ring him?

Well that's the thing, I don't know he's in. I know he'd normally be in. But he could be out for all I know.

But normally he'd text some point in the afternoon and ask how I am and tell me if he's going out. Just haven't heard from him since lunchtime - which is unusual for a weekend.

He doesn't really go out. I'm not really bothered if he's gone out! Just that my mind is working overtime and telling me that he met someone last night and he's gone out with her.

Oh well. Can't do anything about it either way.

Oh I'm only thinking it because I'm stupid Rummi.

Because I think I'm a worthless piece of shit and that any man who's foolish enough to go out with me will be constantly looking for a replacement.

I feel now that I tempted fate by feeling so positive earlier.