The Dating Thread 74.

[MadeMan]

Hello and welcome.

Scarey123 - Dump him. The early stages are supposed to be the most exciting. If he's behaving like this now, the future will be much, much worse.

UrsulaBuffay - A big discussion would have saved you the upset of checking your phone or emails though wouldn't it? Ripping the plaster off hurts more but for less time. Picking away at it just means you're wasting your days away. You have to be a bit more like SuperFlyHigh, she's dead ruthless.

Neil - I love you! (in a friendly way!)

so good and insightful to have a male perspective on things (I agree with both on mine!) and I actually agree with your POV on Scarey's man too, sorry Scarey.

Oh Neil - basically we were meant to be meeting up for a discussion. He had bad train problems (he travels into London from South Coast) and this was true - high winds and he worked from home in morning. But in afternoon he travelled up to attend a colleague's leaving do in London... this was on his FB status...

Then he was also online on a dating site the same day and before... I'd not spied before then.

TOSSER!

Oh and your date does sound dead ruthless... and to be avoided!

Scarey - I would ask myself do you REALLY want to be checking up on him on Tinder or on other sites? and his excuse "for a laugh". what does that say?

I know what both those say to me, loud and clear.

Haha!! Is it insight or incite though? I shouldn't really be advising people to split up when I don't know either of them.

Luckily, my "date" doesn't have my number or know where I live. (my mate had better not bloody tell her)

Neil thank god for that.... re your "date" knowing nothing!

It's good you're unbiased as generally I have my brother (married) and his friend (in relationship, 3 kids, another on way) to ask for male perspective on men etc... and they're both BLOODY USELESS!!!

Oh, and any time a bloke uses the excuse that he was "just having a laugh with his mates" is using the default mode for trying to get himself out of the shit when busted. It's an instant response when no excuse can be thought of quick enough. It's usually accompanied with an uncomfortable fake smile.
(the MRA and fathers for justice will probably be out for my blood for saying all this. I keep looking out of the window to see if someone dressed as Batman is scaling the wall, coming to get me)

neil I agree with you re Scarey's bloke's excuse... but it doesn't always have to be bad news. I just think Scarey's bloke was looking but didn't own up. hey ho.

Scarey you need to weigh up in your mind how you feel about this, despite the behaviour afterwards...

How do your spidey senses feel?

scarey sweetheart maybe he's just a player.
it doesn't really matter. what is important is that you deserve only the best and these niggles like the tinder thing are not the best.
only you know if he's a keeper... but if he isn't then onwards and upwards xxx

It must be confusing Scarey123. It sounds like he does care about you. Maybe you should just take his word for it.

There you go!! In the space of a few minutes I've gone from telling you to dump him to giving him a chance. My advice is free of charge, which is just as well really because you'd be demanding a refund!!

scarey fwiw I think he does like you but doesn't seem ready for the kind of relationship you probably want so trying to keep his options open a little bit.
it may be that he is scared of getting in too deep and getting hurt??? only way you will know is to have the conversation with him

Rummikub No, we had three dates then he started playing silly buggers as I've explained. Had he been better with texts I would have closed all my OLD accounts had he asked me, I was really smitten. I called him Mr OMG and he really was.

Yeah, the little grin is supposed to convey a reassuring, "don't be daft, as if I'd look at anybody but you" but it really means, "shit, I've been caught".........................................................................................................everywhere I walk around the room, a little red light keeps appearing on my chest............. Wonder what it is?

It's dangerous work going deep into the bowels of the male psyche and revealing all the secrets from the inner sanctum. If you could visualise it, it would be a picture of a flea-bitten donkey, fast asleep with flies around it.

Neil Do you think it's possible for a woman to ever understand the make psyche? I'm 48 and still don't 'get' men.

MaLe psyche.

I'm a happy little bunny today. I logged onto POF and a rather tasty guy only a year younger than me has asked to chat and meet. I have messaged him back but would assume he is at work so am now acting like a crazed teenager.

I need a slap.

Nah Neil, not with this one there were no feelings there and I haven't been checking I just moved on

DeliberatelyDreaming - I don't think you'd want to really. It's the same the other way round though. I know it would be handy to know exactly what the other person is feeling but sometimes, you might not want to.
The way I see it is that, by and large, women are more compassionate and caring and don't like to hurt someone's feelings.
Men, in general aren't as caring and compassionate by nature and can hurt someone's feelings, either deliberately or inadvertently.

You could very well be right Neil. I'm sure Mr OMG was enjoying stringing me along, he wasn't so keen when I bit back. Now he is trying to reel me in again but I am getting wise and when he texts I bite first. I am curious as to how this will play out, at least now I am wise to his little games.

It's good to have a male perspective as others have said - thank you!