About to loose everything

[Blossomflowers]

I need some wise words to stop me jumping of the nearest bridge. Last year spilt with long term partner of 20 years in December ( I asked him to leave) since spilt was coping getting on with life. Even dating ( have another thread) anyway fast forward few weeks life has turned on its head, suffered a break in, car stolen, having extreme bad luck with work so am totally financially screwed atm. Also been seeing X again, which oddly has been really nice. I am in a total mess, actually could not get out of bed this morning, am really really down and do not know what to do or who to turn too. Some wise words please

Shall have one for you later.

Think I will keep the laptop close tonight, will come one here if I get any silly urges to text or call him.

Text or call a friend or yes come on here, keep those fingers busy!

Well just finished and first Am catching up with some on the chaps I had been talking to on the dating sites, I have sadly neglected past couple of weeks. That will keep me occupied.

I won't be able to bob in (probably) but chat is always good, and the classics section is always worth a look.

Take care of yourself. Good vibes continue

Feeling pretty low today. Just finding it difficult to motivate myself.

Talk to us Blossom.

I need to be working but just can't rebothered, house is a tip and I do not care. Everybody else seems to have someone and I don't remember feeling so bloody lonely. And I am beginning to hate the X with a passion that is eating me up.

Anger is probably healthy if you harness it.
Useful if you can set a timer and whip round the house like a cleansing tornado.

You were meeting people on dating websites - all right, not mate-for-life material necessarily, but you felt much more alive than you had in a decade with ex. It was what you needed.

When you are ready you will meet more serious matches with prospects.

donkey you are right. He has made me feel guilty about going on the these sites and gets very bitter about it. He has messed my head up past couple of weeks. How selfish he is.

For that reason alone I'd kick him into touch.

I know it's easy for me a stranger to say detach and keep distance.

Any chance you and DS could jump on a train to a last minute booking type destination this weekend?

If I was a real cynic I would maybe think the whole last couple weeks were planned, he was only interested when he know someone else was on the scene, has been mr nice guy and just when he thinks he has me where he wants me, dumps me by text, what a tosser.
Sadly going away is not a option, have pets to care for ( his btw). Fucking laughable really

His pets how come? Just during this present crisis?

Yy it did look like blatant manipulation ("Hang on, Blossom is enjoying herself, can't have that").

Have stonking hangover - always get Dh's hangovers, I didn't drink last night - so can't be as constant as I wish I could for you.

tbh I wouldn't be surprised if the last few weeks haven't been planned to some extent, and I wouldn't be surprised if the weekend just been was a result of him realising that he couldn't just snap his fingers and you would run back. You were managing without him. You were not his safe fallback. There wasn't a long line of leggy blondes queuing up for his attention.

I've been cheering myself up by watching the Nike 'risk everything' on YouTube. I can take or leave the footballers, but the music makes me chirpier for some reason.

I know that feeling, can you just see what you absolutely definitely drop dead must do today and chop into tiny, tiny chunks and do just a diddy bit at a time? Also - get angry.

hugs.

donkey dog and chickens that do not want.
lisa lol

I am feeling very used right now

Just had a call from counsellor who I met a couple of weeks ago, we have agreed that my mental anxiety and depression stems for the X, she has suggested I contact relate and will help me understand why I allow myself to be controlled by this arrogant twisted person.

Blossom this is him, the same man that abused you when you were together, he won't change, in fact, he's putting even more problems and stress on your doorstep, unless you actually tell him to leave you along, you'll never get peace. Get out the limbo and move on with your life.

Just had text from a friend to say she is worried about X as seems very confused. Jan I know really I do but am worried about him but also very angry. Think he has been ill for sometime.

Nothing useful to add except sending hugs.

Keep going. Use this weekend to remind yourself why you need distance.

Still hungover. I'd try the hair of the dog but last night I was drinking diet coke.

xpost - my opinion is that you need to make it clear to your friends that you think that after the break up any contact between you needs to stop as it is not helping him. Don't let him use them to attack you. Get him out of your head - it's harder than getting him out of your house.

btw wtf is he confused about - you not running when he called?

More hugs.

lisa you should have had a with me lol

Old friend is worried but not enough to stay beside him or alert police or doctor herself. Did she ring him or did he call her or bump into her, I wonder.

No no we went to their house together the other day, she knows him really well we have all been friends for years and saw straight away he was not his normal acting strangely and seemed ill. Without prompting she said today that she thought he might do something stupid.

I'd just keep saying that since you split it is not good for him for you to be around, and that you can't help him.

btw - why is it always the woman who has to 'fix' things?

more hungover hugs