Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

please help me

258 replies

iambigfatmess · 15/04/2014 23:40

I went and saw myfamily today for four hours haven't seen them since Christmas dh has gone mad. He is so cpntrolling. I can't do this any more I want toleave but he says I will loose dc

OP posts:
yoyo27 · 16/04/2014 18:01

You are amazing!!!! What a wonderful woman you are, and an amazing mum. You are an inspiration and so strong xxxx

lovemenot · 16/04/2014 18:05

Godspeed. Thinking of you as every mile takes you away from pain and control and towards peace and freedom xx

Scoffalotachocfortea · 16/04/2014 18:09

So proud of you, good luck xx

Featherbag · 16/04/2014 18:15

Oh well done! Sending you strength XX

WitchWay · 16/04/2014 19:05

Good luck Smile

500smiles · 16/04/2014 19:28

OP I am so proud of you! Well done. Wishing you lots of strength and happiness

DreamToSleep · 16/04/2014 19:49

You can do this, OP, you really can.
We are all cheering you on x

Coconutty · 16/04/2014 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

makemineapinot · 16/04/2014 20:52

Keep going!!! If you are heading anywhere near me (w central Scotland) pm me and I'll do what I can to help. You are free! Smile taking charge of your own life and keeping your children safe. Well done you!!

Loveleopardprint · 16/04/2014 21:35

What a difference 24 hrs make. Hope you are in a safe place and you can get some sleep tonight. Let us know how you are getting on. Lots of mumsnetters thinking about you.

CheifSnotWiper · 16/04/2014 21:44

I hope you sleep much easier tonight. If you are anywhere near me, I will help with whatever I can (greater Manchester). You are so strong, we are all thinking of you X

Original poster
iambigfatmess · 16/04/2014 22:02

We are safe he is going mad threatening to ring police ss

OP posts:
NearTheWindymill · 16/04/2014 22:08

Tell him to go right ahead and that you'll explain how he stamped on your foot and has threatened and generally emotionally abused you. You are with those who love you now.

Atbeckandcall · 16/04/2014 22:09

Let him, they can't do anything.
Stay strong and once again, well done. This is now the start of a new and better life for you and your dc. Start living it and not just existing in it.

BosieDufflecoat · 16/04/2014 22:10

I'm SO GLAD you're safe. If he does ring the police while he's in a temper, then great, because they'll instantly hear the reason you got away from him. Your side of the story is going to get a lot more sympathy from them. Don't worry.

I'm so, so relieved you made it. You're brilliant for taking the chance to get out of there today. You did it.

Don't worry. There will be fallout, and it will pass. It'll be better than staying would have been.

You're absolutely amazing for leaving today. You must be beyond exhausted, so sleep, and sleep well, and take this a day at a time. x x

makemineapinot · 16/04/2014 22:11

Let him call police. Go and buy yourself a very cheap £1.99 phone and change your number to that phone. Change your actual phone number and send it to those you trust. You then call the new cheap phone the Prat mobile which u can control and switch him off when you want while still keeping fabulous evidence of his bullying for any future court case. My ex was so irate that he only merited a £1.99 phone - made it sweeter. But it helps big time. You can switch him off and put him wherever you like! Mine sometimes went in the dirty laundry basket... Well done you, be proud, don't let his calls get to you. My ex reported me to as and it went totally against him so please don't worry xx

NurseyWursey · 16/04/2014 22:11

Tell him you have documented his abuse. Don't listen to him, he is just trying to scare you.

DreamToSleep · 16/04/2014 22:11

So glad you are safe x

Atbeckandcall · 16/04/2014 22:20

Pinot, that's an ace idea!!!

yoyo27 · 16/04/2014 22:21

So pleased to read you are safe. I am sure your family are rallying around and giving you the support you need.

You did good!!! Xx

LulaPalooza · 16/04/2014 22:22

Just read the whole thread with my heart pounding for you, OP... then let out a cheer when you confirmed you are safe and away. You've done brilliantly. Keep posting here, there are so many people with advice, support and kindness for you. Big un-Mumsnetty hugs, love. X

hamptoncourt · 16/04/2014 22:23

Well done OP. As PP have said, just tell him the DC are safe and you will be in touch to arrange contact, then turn your phone off until you can get a new one.

See a solicitor as soon as you can, they will do a lot to put your mind at rest.

If you think there is any chance he may turn up at your place of safety and be aggressive, then warn your local police station by calling the non emergency number. That way they should treat it as a high priority if the situation arises.

Just think this Easter is a new start for you and DC and all this crap will be behind you soon. If you had stayed you would have just had more of the same to look forward to.

KaFayOLay · 16/04/2014 22:27

Well done OP...I'm rooting for you!

Bogeyface · 16/04/2014 22:37

And now I can breathe out again!

So pleased you are safe.

I honestly dont think he will ring the police, he will have some very awkward questions to answer if he does, not least "Why did your wife run away and not tell you where she was going?"

He is doing what has always worked before which is shout and threaten you. When he realises that it wont work he will turn on the tears, talk about the kids and about how he needs to see them how you have broken his heart etc DO NOT FALL FOR IT!!!

He wont mean it, he will just be using another trick to try and reel you in. I am mentioning this now so that when he does that, you are ready for it.

I can tell you how happy it makes me to hear that you are away from him, in 24 short hours you have shown himself, yourself and your children how strong you really are. "I am woman, hear me roar" eh?! :)

DeriArms · 16/04/2014 22:38

How are you OP? Sending love and encouragement x