You are pissed off because your 'boyfriend' went home to his wife after sleeping with you? What did you want, a handhold and lots of assurances that he should have stayed with you?
This thread has really upset me. I have never been cheated on, but am the child of a dad who cheated. It destroyed my family.
You want this man to leave his family. Which means you either want him to leave his kids, or to have shared custody. Meaning their family life is shattered. Meaning their idea of parents is shattered. Probably memories are shattered too. They will live with a possibly distraught mother, an absent father. They will hate you.
I spoke to my dads ow. I was six. It fucked me up for a very long time. She cried and told me how much she loved my dad. She ignored the fact that I loved him too. She felt she deserved him more I guess.
Do you deserve this man more than his children do?
I don't care if you think I'm harsh. You can't imagine feeling less awful? Well if you ever have kids and watch their world being ripped apart, I think that's probably worse.
Imagine the utter betrayal of his family finding out their dad has built a whole new life?! They are kids. Depending on their age, they won't blame him. They will just be devastated and confused.
Those kids have no say. Chances are his wife has no say. Yet you went into this eyes open, knowing he had a family, and at no point did you stop yourself. I highly doubt you were deeply in love before finding all this out. So in my eyes, you deserve all you get. Any sensible woman would know that with an affair, comes pain. Any kind woman would not want to be part of causing that.
Have you thought about the future? Being a step mum to kids who may make your life very difficult. Paying out csa for a very very very long time, possibly affecting any family you might one day have?
Of course, this all might be too late. If his wife finds out, their family may already be irrevocably destroyed. But I guess that's what you want.