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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DCs went on holiday (abroad) with soon to be ex H, supposed to be back y'day - no sign.

439 replies

januarycat · 11/04/2014 20:37

early stages of divorce.

The 3yo hasn't ever spent a night away from me. they were supposed to be back y'day. h phoned today to say it will be sunday. he said he'd told me when they left - he didn't, in fact he said they would travel thursday, be back following thursday.

he is playing games & was being very 'oh, dear, did you forget I told you it would be sunday?'

he has made threats in the past to take them away.

I have phoned the police (101) to log it. they said phone back on sunday if no sign & think about getting a court order.

he thinks it's funny & was being patronising & sarcastic on the phone, he finished the call by saying how lovely it was to talk to me. he is doing what he knows will hurt me the most.

Did I do the right thing calling the police. h is emotionally abusive & i often doubt how I feel/think/react.

Thanks for any advice.

OP posts:
Hissy · 13/04/2014 13:49

You need to start contacting police/cousin/everyone.

This is just awful :(

clam · 13/04/2014 13:51

What were his reasons for getting Australian citizenship for your dcs? And do you know why he left his job this week?

REALLY hoping he's just winding you up by returning them late.

bettergetamoveon · 13/04/2014 14:05

I really hope your children are back with you soon. This must be awful. Sad

MrsC1969HJ · 13/04/2014 14:05

Can you contact the consulate/home office, there MUST be somebody who can act on this NOW. Christ almighty, what an arsehole!

Rachie1986 · 13/04/2014 14:09

No advice but thinking of you and hope they're back really soon xx

fuckoffbeaker · 13/04/2014 14:18

How is he returning, boat or plane. Do you know what time. Did he give a specific time or did you just set midday arbitrarily. The biggest worry for me would be that he left his job very recently. Does he have other family here or abroad? Does he have his own house or rents?

maxybrown · 13/04/2014 14:28

Oh no hope you are ok :( I have no advice at all but people seem to be giving some good advice hope you can use some of it and they are back really soon

springydaffs · 13/04/2014 14:38

This is surely seen as evidence of domestic abuse, in which case you would qualify for legal aid. See a solicitor as soon as tomorrow. Keep plugging away with WA, who will swing into action for you.

I sincerely hope that this is the nail in the coffin for him. He thinks he's pulling off his biggest triumph but a law court would see it as his biggest defeat: evidence that he is an abuser.

thinking of you January. So difficult that it is the weekend (though I assume the bastard planned it that way). Do you have someone with you?

Doobydoo · 13/04/2014 14:46

What Anyfucker said....really hope they are home with you now.

beachyhead · 13/04/2014 14:48

Thinking of you today JanuaryCat. Willing the dc's back to you. Plead with the police to take over from here.

ScrambledSmegs · 13/04/2014 14:59

I really hope they've back with you soon. So sorry your ex is a twat of the highest order.

YoureAShoe · 13/04/2014 15:03

Oh sweetie, this must be so so difficult for you. I'm hoping they will be with you soon.

bantamgirl · 13/04/2014 15:18

Oh no, I wish I could offer some constructive advice, I hope things work out xx

CurtWild · 13/04/2014 15:28

De-lurking to say I hope your DC are home and safe with you now. What an awful nightmare to live through. Keeping my fingers crossed for you x

KaFayOLay · 13/04/2014 15:48

Sincerely hope the children get back to you soon.

If he doesn't bring them back, how on earth will they know where to look, seeing as you don't know where they are?

MarthasHarbour · 13/04/2014 15:52
Flowers
Jollyphonics · 13/04/2014 15:53

I think I would beg police to trace his mobile phone now, in case he switches it off.

sillymillyb · 13/04/2014 15:53

This is horrific, I understand about the fog of anti depressants - do you have rl support with you? You need someone with you on your side to be more pushy with the police.

I hope they are home soon, I'm thinking of you

kalidanger · 13/04/2014 15:55

I agree you need a friend or family member who can be pushy on your behalf.

Sorry this is happening, I can't imagine how you must feel Thanks

NeedToMovePassedThis · 13/04/2014 15:57

I really hope you're not posting because the dcs are home safely.

Get to a court tomorrow and make sure this can never happen again.

BoiledPiss · 13/04/2014 15:59

Just seen this thread, i hope your DC's are back safely with you OP Thanks

FadBook · 13/04/2014 16:00

This is awful, I hope they're back now.

Itsfab · 13/04/2014 16:04

Are they back, OP?

If not you need to call the police. Tell them your children have been kidnapped as they were due back on Thursday. The POLICE decided they were fine until mid day today and if they are not back then the police are responsible. Ask them if they are refusing to look for some small children who have been withheld from you.

Twighlightsparkle · 13/04/2014 16:07

I hope they are back safe and sound. If not I hope your getting some help,from the police many hugs

lunar1 · 13/04/2014 16:09

Really hope they are back now.