DCs went on holiday (abroad) with soon to be ex H, supposed to be back y'day - no sign.

[januarycat]

early stages of divorce.

The 3yo hasn't ever spent a night away from me. they were supposed to be back y'day. h phoned today to say it will be sunday. he said he'd told me when they left - he didn't, in fact he said they would travel thursday, be back following thursday.

he is playing games & was being very 'oh, dear, did you forget I told you it would be sunday?'

he has made threats in the past to take them away.

I have phoned the police (101) to log it. they said phone back on sunday if no sign & think about getting a court order.

he thinks it's funny & was being patronising & sarcastic on the phone, he finished the call by saying how lovely it was to talk to me. he is doing what he knows will hurt me the most.

Did I do the right thing calling the police. h is emotionally abusive & i often doubt how I feel/think/react.

Thanks for any advice.

Hope they come home soon OP thinking of you x

Really hope they're back now january. If not, please get someone in RL to come & fight your corner with the police. It's so hard to be forceful when the ADs are fogging you. Another hand holding yours. Good luck.

Please update when you can january

Hope you have them safely back

I really hope the police are taking this very seriously now.
Here for hand holding x

Really hope your DC are back now.

Have just talked to h, they are in Dover. The shit said how much he was looking forward to seeing me. Talked to both DCs they are ok. H said possibly back tonight. I guess 4hr journey MAX.

Did the DC confirm they are in Dover?

I would so love that he found the police waiting for him as he arrived at yours.
Twat.

My internet connection isnt very good.

H is enjoying this.

Yes, Dc confirmed in dover

H said possibly back tonight.
Possibly?
WTAF?

Please do not allow them unsupervised with him again.
He will love that.

You definitely need to take legal advice on this. He can't think he can get away with this.

Please let us know when they are home safely.

Since this morning, Ive been looking out the window every time i hear a car. Mug

I have been following this since the start. I can only imagine the absolute feeling of dread you feel right now. He is EA your children as well, telling them going home one day and then extending it. The poor little one that co sleeps with u especially. I actually could not be as calm as you are, I would hurt DH in every imaginable way when I got my hands him. Well done you on keeping cool. You will now have the upper hand.

I'd keep contacting the police.
You could ask for confirmation that they have entered at Dover.

A nice police report for a custody case.

How did you DCs sound? Esp the 3 year old?

Oh I feel for you, January. Many years ago my daughter's father took her out and said he'd be back at two and didn't get back until six thirty and I was going up the walls.

Oh thank goodness! (Been lurking anxiously ) Now you've got four hours to practice your "welcome back DCs, of course I wasn't worried one bit" face.

You really need to have a third party there for the handover. Can anyone stay with you?

I'd rather practice my "this is the last time you pulled a prank like this with the children" face.

Thank heaven they are back in the UK - hope they are with you v soon. The man's a crap father, upsetting his children in order to frighten their mother.

I would also contact the police and ask them to check they are back.
I would be very worried for the DCs in particular the little one who usually sleeps with you who will be incredibly confused and upset I imagine.
Awful.

You are not a mug. You are not overreacting.

You are being incredibly calm - hold onto that and you will be fine.

After today never allow him unsupervised access again - ever. As a PP said earlier in the thread he will try to make you feel as if you have overreacted - that is his MO. You haven't.

Please speak to the police and Women's Aid.

x

The DCs sounded ok, they know there is a choc cake waiting for them.