The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Springing Into Spring Like Super Spingy Springs On A Springy Day!

[Mouseface]

Hello everyone, I'm Mouse :)

Welcome to the Bus, Gerald. Of course it's an imaginary Bus, and we're all aware of that, but we've been on this Bus for a bloomin' long time now so this place kinda feels like home.

See, the thing is, we're a mix of drinkers, non drinkers, total abstainers, and also posters that are or have been, somewhere in between, around the block and back again!

There are no hard and fast rules here, just No judging, No bitching about others and most certainly No expectations of YOURSELF.

No-one can say what will or will not happen whilst you're posting here. You just have to take the ride, One Day At A Time.

There are two sayings that we have painted down either side of the Bus :-

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

You've started to read this thread for a reason, and you'll either carry on and maybe Name Change (or not) and post, walk away, or realise that this is all about YOU, cry for a bit, and then come and take a seat :)

For those who would like a bit of our almost 4 year history, have a read of THIS TRULY INSPIRING THREAD

- AND THIS IS OUR PREVIOUS THREAD TO THIS ONE

We're not a quiche or a clicky group, four years is a long time and longer when you're pissed for some of it, so whilst the threads may look 'clicky', I can promise you, it's just that we all 'know' one another because we've been here for a bit but you'll soon get to know us all, who loves what (CHEEEEEEEESE), but we were all 'new posters' at one time, weren't we? :)

Hi Wry, you are doing really well. Just try to imagine how crap you would feel if you drink and screw things up. Try focussing on the training and how good it would be to fully engage with it instead of being hungover and shaky.

I am only trying to encourage you and know full well that I would probably give in to the temptation myself. It is not worth it though. Be strong and don't screw up the next few days for yourself. Make yourself proud of yourself. I am in the pits because of drinking, it's horrendous and you don't want to be there. Focus on doggy, he will sense a difference in you if you don't drink.

Good luck, I hope you find strength from somewhere because you are doing a great job staying sober.

Evening lovely babes. I'm in bed sober. Day 42 done. Just had friends over for dinner. Had a few pangs while cooking as I love being in the kitchen, music on, glass of wine. But it's never A glass.

I sat there during dinner while everyone had two, maybe three glasses of wine over the course of a few hours and realised how embarrassing I must be as I'd have been waaaaaay ahead in the wine consumption and it would have been so obvious.

It was all fine. This is so much better. I really never want to go back to that. Night all. Xx

Well done wry hang in there. Having a dog has kept me sane many times in the past!

Someone said earlier about 'wine association' so soc it must feel so good to not drink in a previously boozy environment.

I'm feeling very anxious right now. I tried to rearrange my weekend so that I'd be home tonight, sober, and then drive for my night out tomorrow. Now for various reasons I'm spending the night with people who a) I usually drink with and b) I have a lot of emotional baggage with so I know I drink to get through this. I want to cancel but feel guilt tripped into going (purely by myself, not by anyone else), I want to promise myself I won't drink but I know I need something to mask undealt with emotions.

On a brighter note, me and dh just took dd out for a picnic followed by drinks in a sunny beer garden...I drank lemonade!

Have spent the day feeling like boiled shite. Am so determined not to drink tonight. Its killing me and it has to stop....but you've all hears that one before!

pat your posts could have been me - drinking, sabotaging my work and career, lying to try and get out of it, feeling so bad about myself for lying to those who love me, drinking to overcome my feelings of self loathing - all the time digging a deeper and deeper hole for myself. I think you know how this feels. And the good news is it can all get better. It is possible to stop drinking, and step by step to climb out of the pit of lies and shame. And it feels good

ma hope your evening is getting better and that you are recovering from the shite feeling. Why don't you google an image of boiled shite, print it out and stick it near to the wine rack. It should at least make you think twice.....

wry take a photo of your dog with you - they can have such a disappointed soulful look in their eyes. And maybe this will help...

How to Live and Love Like a Dog
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand that sometimes your loved ones are too busy to give you any time.

If you can overlook it when those you love get irritated with you,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than an poor friend,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer stress without medical help,
If you can relax and have fun without alcohol,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can say honestly that deep in your heart you have no
prejudice against creed, colour, religion or politics,
THEN, my friend, your love is almost as good as your dog’s.
Almost, but not quite,
Because besides not having any of your hang-ups and vices,
He would without hesitation, sit by your side all day long, and ask for nothing but your adoration.

Made it. Now to do it all again tomorrow

ma it's just another day. You can do it. Think of going to bed sober again and how wonderful you'll feel waking up. xx

Thanks soc
I get the benefits but the sheer bloody boredom of the evenings depresses me. Activites such as read a book, have a bath etc are associated with a glass of wine so don't help really.

Ma, you can read a book with a glass of wine? I can barely manage a magazine, keep forgetting what I've read or my mind spirals off. Reading is one of the things I enjoy being sober for

Alison I am able to relax fairly easily (bubble baths, reading, gardening, exercise, Radio 4, even watching super-crap telly all do it for me. Am currently obsessed with Celebrity Masterchef) My problem is finding time to. My house looks like a bomb has hit it at the moment The problem is that I have no time. (though obviously am on MN at the moment, so perhaps housework not really a priority .. )

Maybe some other babes have some tips on how to relax in the evenings for Ma? You are doing so well lovely! How are things on the job front for you?

My problem at the moment is I never have time to relax, but have begun drinking round the margins again (usually ramming in a couple of glasses at 10.30 once kids in bed when I could easily go to sleep.) I was feeling fairly free of the wine witch until recently - have decided my triggers are definitely the stress at work (combined with being so stupidly busy after work too with the kids etc) makes me need a drink, and I have that childish 'not fair' response where I 'reward' myself with a drink for working so hard and being so under appreciated. In fact it is not a reward at all, it is another punishment as I am creating another problem for myself in the long run, and sabotaging my fitness programme (though to be fair that is non existent now that work has effectively stopped any chance of lunchtime activity).

Having massive anxiety dreams which keep waking me up, (all work related), and was so stressed at work this week I was fighting the urge to cry most of Thursday and Friday. And on top of the massive overwork and pressure to work evenings and weekends and never turn our phones off, they are now reorganising the department to mean 25% of jobs will go, through a job matching and re-interviewing process. Thing is I think they have already decided so these 'consultations' while time consuming and tortuous to us, are just there so they can pretend to the unions they have done it properly

We had to do a paper on how we saw the future of the department with recommendations for change last week. And then I saw the edited version (by our evil boss) which took out a lot of our points that she saw as 'negative'. FFS!!! She said to one of my colleagues 'it's not about justifying your jobs, it is about the big picture and what is good for the department' (presumably so we can look back with a benevolent smile when we are thrown out of a job?) D'aaaaagh!!!!!! It is all very political and tbh I do not want one of the new jobs that will be created, my main worry is that they will fix it so we can't get redundancy payouts.

I have seen my doctor who says she will sign me off sick whenever I say the word as I am showing all the signs of severe stress . But I am scared to do that (and stubborn as hell) and don't want it on my record in case I can't get another job. Also would be dropping my colleagues in it... Any advice babes???

Right off to have brekkie and read the Observer, while ignoring the mess around me. Dashing out with DS again at lunchtime. DD in a mood because she wanted a friend over and I texted the mum but she's not got back to me. I get really annoyed with her selfish little friends sometimes. She is popular but she never gets invited to theirs cos they all live near each other and near the school and she doesn't, and they just don't think of her - but you'd think the mums would have the manners / niceness to invite her back once in a while....

Anyway, this is getting very moany, little problems! She starts high school then so hoping she meets more friends that live in walking distance (then I can stop fretting about her missing out and start panicking about where she is!! )

Have a lovely Sunday babes... xxxxx

Thanks Hope. Sounds like u have a lot on your plate right now. You will have various rights under redundancy so might be worth reading up on them to see where you are.
Have been out for a couple of hours with the wine witch in my ear non bloody stop!
I hate this. We had a soft drink in a pub which is fine. I'm OK when I'm out. Its the bloody evenings. Had to pop into supermarket so bought alcohol free fruit "beer" in an effort to make two days. Christ, how low an achievement is that?

It is still an achievement Ma - and an even bigger one when temptation is strong. The first days are the hardest,you are doing great. Fruit beer sounds good too xxx

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

How are we all? It's still 'cracking the flags here' as my Mum would have said :) meaning that it's scorchio!

Hope - that post has been me in the past and more recently the present at times, but something struck a HUGE slap in the face chord with me was - makes me 'need' a drink

Why? Why do you need a drink? What happens when you open that bottle? Yep, the first glass is usually gulped to get the rush of the alcohol hitting your empty stomach.... or at least that was my reason. But after that, it was a case of feck it, it's open now so I may as well have the whole bottle.... ? Or am I way off with assuming that we're alike in that manner?

I need to grab a quick shower whilst I can and then I'll be back and do the new thread.

Back soon xxx

Hey mouse good to hear from you. Not scorchio here but warm enough for T-shirt and cut offs.
Have been fighting a mighty battle today, all day, thinking about wine every half hour or so. I'm scared how much it controls my life. Day 2 done but feel resentful and frustrated rather than proud.
Got to work late tomorrow so won't be able to drink which should make day 3.

Just popping in to say goodnight and that I'll do the new thread tomorrow so please someone let me know via text those who have my number when it's getting very low xxx

Mouse no, you are not wrong sweetie. I am just like you said. Not proud of myself at the moment .

Think that is why on holiday I could really moderate because I thought a drink would be 'nice' and just had one or two. But at the moment I think I 'need' a drink because of work and so back to the unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

To be honest crack cocaine, washed down with a draught of Victorian-era laudanum and finished off with 3 spliffs would not erase my work anxiety at the moment, rather just tamp it down for later. But I feel utterly powerless to change my life, so am using alcohol to change my mood. Rubbish, rubbish, rubbish, I know.

Maybe I really need to consider the taking time out with stress option the doctor suggested? It makes me feel like I would have 'loser' on my employment record and part of me is very stubborn, but tbh I just feel I really need a MASSIVE rest to sort myself out. Would love to know what other babes think re: the 'tough it out and go completely and utterly mad' / 'sign off for a while to save my mental health and risk having it on record that I'm mad' dilemma

Ma you are doing great - soon be 3 days for you. Your funny, kind and inspiring posts cheer me up all the time, I think you are great so be kind to yourself I hope your ds has a good week at school this week - I keep thinking of him. He sounds so nice, want to come to the school, fists flying, and sort the other kids out myself!!!

Am sending both you and Mouse some utterly massive bars of chocolate (usual place, Gerald's dashboard) and big hugs.

Everyone else, help yourselves too (I know you will anyway)

Night night babes xxx

hope thank you so much. And a big yes to the stress break from work! If you carry on the way you are it will be forced on you anyway because you will have a full on breakdown, probably at work, which will mean you being off for so much longer.
If you had a broken leg would you refuse an xray, a cast and crutches and keep crawling to work? Well, you have a broken mind right now and it needs patched up just the way a leg would. Your mental health is even more important than your physical health. Get thee signed off work and recuperate then you can go back stronger and fitter and more able to cope.

Checking in. Day 1. Again.

Hello, tis me, Mouse

I'm just off to hydrotherapy and will then do the new thread. Please bear with me.

Lots of love xxx

Waiting to pounce on the new thread.......

Hello, hope I didn't miss the new thread. I've been unable to post over the weekend.

hope I really empathise with the fear of taking time off because of impending redundancy/restructuring, however it does sound like you need some time to catch up with yourself. Would a couple of days off with a 'migraine' help? You can then consider more time signed off by your doctor at a later date.

ma you sound bright this morning, hope things are going well with Day 3.

alias I'm joining you on Day 1.

I'm really pleased with my moderation over the weekend. After feeling very anxious on Saturday afternoon I followed my own advice and took time to have a bath, have a cuppa and read my book before setting off for my visit. I drank half a bottle of wine. It would usually be one whole bottle plus g&t's to start. Not being drunk actually resulted in me addressing some of the 'baggage'. Not all, but not being drunk or hungover gave extra headspace. Lastnight I had one small glass of bubbly then stuck to orange juice as I was driving.

Despite addressing some baggage I'm still feeling quite anxious about it today. I think its because usually on a Monday I'm worrying about how much I drank, the effects on my health, if I did anything embarrassing etc so there's no time to worry about anything else. Take that out of the equation and I'm left with the real issues to worry about. Interesting.

quick check in
am off curling tonight.....could be dangerous

ma I would have thought you hair is quite short for curls - hope it's not a 70's style perm that you're going for

Alison, well done for doing so well over the weekend, especially with all the socialising. I hope you had a nice birthday. It is very interesting that you are still feeling anxious. I suppose us drinkers assume that anxiety will magically disappear when we stop drinking. Its a vicious circle because drinking causes anxiety which in turn causes drinking.

I haven't had a drink for about 7 days and am experiencing dreadful anxiety . The last 17 years to be honest have been one long rollercoaster of anxiety. If I hadn't drunk my way through those years I would have coped better. I could have addressed the baggage. I could have a few glasses of wine now and in half an hour the anxiety would be gone. Putting myself in a position where I could lose my job, home etc. has helped sober me up for the moment. Only an alcoholic would continue to drink in my situation. As I am typing this my brain is saying that I will be fine and will be drinking again like a normal person soon - DELUDED!

I hope your anxiety lessens and good luck for the week ahead to everyone!

Curling Ma, get you. It looks like good fun. Hope you get back in one piece.

Hey, here's the new thread. By all means mark your place but PLEASE fill this one first?

Thank you xxx

NEW THREAD HERE