The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Springing Into Spring Like Super Spingy Springs On A Springy Day!

[Mouseface]

Hello everyone, I'm Mouse :)

Welcome to the Bus, Gerald. Of course it's an imaginary Bus, and we're all aware of that, but we've been on this Bus for a bloomin' long time now so this place kinda feels like home.

See, the thing is, we're a mix of drinkers, non drinkers, total abstainers, and also posters that are or have been, somewhere in between, around the block and back again!

There are no hard and fast rules here, just No judging, No bitching about others and most certainly No expectations of YOURSELF.

No-one can say what will or will not happen whilst you're posting here. You just have to take the ride, One Day At A Time.

There are two sayings that we have painted down either side of the Bus :-

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

You've started to read this thread for a reason, and you'll either carry on and maybe Name Change (or not) and post, walk away, or realise that this is all about YOU, cry for a bit, and then come and take a seat :)

For those who would like a bit of our almost 4 year history, have a read of THIS TRULY INSPIRING THREAD

- AND THIS IS OUR PREVIOUS THREAD TO THIS ONE

We're not a quiche or a clicky group, four years is a long time and longer when you're pissed for some of it, so whilst the threads may look 'clicky', I can promise you, it's just that we all 'know' one another because we've been here for a bit but you'll soon get to know us all, who loves what (CHEEEEEEEESE), but we were all 'new posters' at one time, weren't we? :)

pat 7 days is great. Well done.
Curling was a blast, much harder than it looks but great fun. And it meant another AF day so that is day 3 done.
Now,can anyone tell me how to get proper Mumsnet back on my tablet instead of this desktop site which I can't figure out and which hangs all the time? I used to have it but I clicked on something and I can't get it back!!!!

Yay! Yay! I was first on the new thread! And second too >

For those of you who are new and haven't experienced this before, we have had the very rare occasion when the existing thread gets filled up before a new one is available, and someone gets lost or left behind And we have also had a couple of times when we've all piled into the delight of a new thread with the excitement of a school kid with a new jotter (or do people not get jotters these days and am I showing my age?). And in doing so, have left some empty spaces in the old threads..... then, many, many months later, someone new take all their courage in their hands, searches for threads about alcohol, and posts on the old old thread - only to have their posts unanswered. Oh God imagine that. I'd probably not have tried again for years (yeah well any excuse would do for me!).

So fill up tis thread - right the way to the end before we start getting serious on the new one. And what better excuse to post all your greatest worries, and fears, and hopes and dreams... go on, within a few hours it'll be in an archive

ma my mumsnet on my phone went weird - no idea what I'd pressed, then just as bizarrely, a couple of weeks later it went back again. I just look like a bamboozled old woman - stabbing at my phone, shaking it, and saying "I don't understand" "I don't understand".

And nothing to do with drink. Which is even worse 'cos I have no excuse.

Mine did the same for the last couple of days. I have no idea what I pressed and then I eventually realised the pressing keys wasnt having any effect it was just switching back to normal view by itself. At least I think that was what happened!!

So we need to get this thread filled ... Well, I am doing ok. F***g up mightily has for the moment killed my desire to drink alcohol. I hope it lasts. The anxiety I was feeling passed away around tea time and now my mood is lifting. I am actually having quite a nice evening to myself. Fed the DCs and then went online. I have loads of housework to do but will race around shortly to make the house respectable.

My DS finishes school for the summer tomorrow, DD finished last week. Complete joy! Dragging two teenagers out of the bed in the morning is sheer hell.

I have to face work tomorrow and have decided to try my best to walk in there like I do not give a hoot. I obviously do care and am bricking it but I am coming around to the idea that screwing up mightily on alcohol is a kind of illness. I am (very warily) thinking that this could be a turning point.

So 20 more posts to fill this thread.

Ma, it was only when you said it that I realised curling must be really energetic stuff. Lots of bending and stretching. It must be great exercise not to mention a good laugh. Well done on Day 3!

Morning Babes
Day 45 for me. Can't quite believe it. It's funny how another 5 days sober will make it 50 and 5 days seems so easy to achieve now, whereas a mere 45 days ago it was sooooooo incredibly hard to just get 1 or 2 days done. I am feeling good about this. I really want to stay sober now and never have to go through those first few days or weeks again.

It's still early days but it seems to be getting easier and drinking thoughts less and less. Even when I have pangs of 'how will I get through that' I have to see the whole thing through and just not start. I know without a doubt, if I drink I'll drink until I'm drunk and then I will absolutely drink the next day and the day after that. And god knows how long I'll carry on for before I stop again.

What I'm missing really doesn't exist for me anymore. I miss that first glass of wine, but it's such a short pleasure for me as within seconds I'm hurtling down that dark neck of the bottle to get drunk.

And never waking up feeling shit is something magical.

I might have to post some more shite on here so we can start the next thread legally.

Actually, I'm going to be sober for the entire 40 pages of the next thread.
There's a thought.......

Morning lovely Babes

Life is (as for most of us), a bit mad hectic here at the moment.

DC2 has now left uni , and is moving out this weekend, so...empty nest, with no-one even coming back for the holidays any more! New chapter, again! I've had many in the nearly four years that I've been on the bus.

I send my love to everyone, and once I've broken up, have promised myself to post and chat a lot more. I miss you all.

lots of love
T xxxx

SoberSoc you are an inspiration. Well done, 45 days is a great achievement. Are you doing other things to keep you focussed on not drinking. I have only done 7 days and am finding my mood rather flat with bouts of anxiety thrown in for good measure. I read an interesting thread which said that giving up itself is not enough on its own you have to replace drinking with other activities and learn new coping strategies to address underlying issues.

Its very early days for me so I think I will just try to get a few more days under my belt before I take on the task of fixing all the ingrained negative aspects of my life.

Have a good day everyone and I hope we can find the strength to just not drink today.

If anyone is about I would very much appreciate some support. I have to go back to work today after screwing up so badly. To top it all I am now way behind in my work. I feel physically sick with anxiety. I am panicking so badly. My boss is a complete bastard who, because I don't kiss his ass like the others in the office, tries to make me feel inferior to the others. Oh God, how am I going to get through this day. I never ever want to drink again because it was drinking that got me into this mess.

I am going to doc appointment now and having trouble getting dressed and leaving the house for the appointment. Oh God, get me through this day.

Please tell me drinking too much is a disorder and that I am not just some complete fuck up who has ruined her life by drinking and avoiding my responsibilities. I don't deserve it, I fucked up myself. I have four minutes to get dressed and be at the appointment. I wish I could turn back time.

I hope everyone has a good day today.

Well I made it to doctors a bit late but saw the doctor. I have just taken new meds, Citalopram and Proporanolol and all I can say is thank God. I should have done this months ago but anyway I have now. The doctor said she thought that this latest disaster was probably a good thing as it is a wake up call. That made me feel better because I was hoping that the same. I feel more relaxed after talking to her. She also said being a single mother of teenagers, working in a stressful job with no support causes anxiety so that made me feel better as well.

Well onwards and upwards. I have to go to work now but feel strangely calm. Its amazing what talking to someone about something so ostensibly secret can do. I think I can handle the day ahead.

Hi Pat
Good to hear you went to the doctor. I take all the help I can get from my GP. I check in with him every fortnight - so it's almost like a counseling session. Different system here though so maybe not as easy for you. I find having to go and see someone every fortnight very good for me. Maybe AA has that effect too. I know I can't do this on my own. I've tried for a decade and it didn't work.

Apart from that I've been doing things that I've been wanting to do, or half did when I was drunk. Like take up piano lessons again, a lot of reading, a lot of writing, running 10km now. It's soooooo much nicer. The cravings lessen pretty quickly. The hardest thing for me is dealing with emotions because I had that nicely under control by just drinking through anything that was vaguely difficult. Now I have to actually think about it all. But my anxiety is less. I'm feeling better about myself so I'm stronger and able to cope a bit better. It all just gets better the longer you don't drink.

And the nice things are bliss. Think I've said this many times, but going to bed sober is amazing. Reading in bed and falling asleep properly is amazing. Waking up every morning without all those awful feelings is amazing.

Really drinking gives me fuck all but trouble, and sobriety gives me such enormous pleasure. It's a no brainer. I just need to never pick up that first drink.

Hope today is ok for you. It will get better xxx

SoberSoc, thank you so much for posting and for being so supportive! I am going to make a determined effort to get into things I used to do. I also really need to get some exercise. I love the idea of going to bed sober and waking up without these feelings of self loathing. You are lucky to have the option of seeing the doctor regularly. My doctor told me to come back anytime for a chat and actually I am going to do that. I probably wouldn't have done but as you say it does help.

I have to go to work shortly and am really bricking it. I have told so many lies and just have to brazen it out. I am crap at lying because my memory is not good so for me this is a tough call. I am way behind on my work and don't look very professional. Its the lying that is torturing me. I suppose if I keep up this tortured state I will drink again so I better stop being so self indulgent.

Thanks again for posting, I really really appreciate it. Having someone to talk to really helped me this morning. Have a lovely day and thanks again from the bottom of my heart.

Oh pat it's so hard in the beginning. 7 days is excellent. Just keep going. Everything improves each day. The job shit will blow over and you won't be drinking so it won't happen again. And the stronger you get the better you'll be able to deal with your boss and work and in fact everything. My anxiety is soooo much better without alcohol.

I make regular appointments with my GP. I don't really care if he wants to see me or not. Bad bloody luck. Sometimes I go there with not much to say, but it's the sheer fact of 'checking in' every two weeks or so that helps me. He's a doctor, it's his care of duty and he's probably saving my life so I just keep going.

I've been filling in a drinking diary. I use this one found at this link:
www.drinkingdiary.com/index.html

I love it. I admire my turquoise squares regularly. I'm sure it helps me. Just keep thinking to yourself it will never be this hard. I was flat, moody, emotional (still am at times) a lot in the beginning and ate like a pig but I just wanted to get through it. Try and picture the mornings waking up without all that guilt.

Keep going. It really really does get easier. xx

ooh that diary looks good soc
might download that onto my tablet if I can.
pat is fessing up to your work issues an option? Can you say you have been dealing with an issue at home which you don't want to discuss but it has caused you to fall behind and that you realise this and are ready to address it and get caught up? do you have a HR/welfare dept?
thurso good to see you old pal. You ok?
Where the feck is indie?

Afternoon babes,

Quick post before I catch up. Just plodding along at the moment, trying not to drink despite the drama. Had ten units last week - would be happy if I could do that all the time - which is mostly down to drinking lager. I can moderate with lager without really trying, with wine it's much harder.

Have been dealing with a load of aggravation from the neighbours - she put a new fence up, fine her boundary,but she put it over a foot in our garden, desdestroyed my plants, and drilled into the living room wall. Tried to discuss it nicely with her which resulted in a tirade of abuse, and her slagging us off to any random passersby. This went on for a few days and suddenly she moved the fence back, after sspeaking to a solicitor. However now she has the next neighbour along shouting abuse at us from over her fence whenever we go in the garden. Honestly I read this sort of stuff in aibu! but I am not going to let them drive me to drink :)

pat well done you for going to the doctor, and I hope that things at work went OK.

Several years ago I got into a mess at work. On a drunken evening I told someone something I shouldn't have (thinking I could trust her), and the next thing I knew she'd told several others. I really thought I would get the sack if the CEO found out that I'd blabbed. At the same time I had made a sort of verbal commitment to one of our suppliers about some work worth £70K - there was nothing dodgy about the decision, all above board and stuff, but I knew that if I got sacked my deputy would give the contract to a different company. In my panic and stress I couldn't see anyway out except for me to give the company £70K out of my own money (which of course I didn't have! and which would have been a ridiculous thing to do anyway). I would lay in bed at 4am and wonder how I could take out loans / extend my mortgage to cover it. I can still recall waking up and thinking that the only answer was to end my life, because I felt so ashamed and stressed and anxious. And it was like a cycle and the more anxious I felt, the more muddled my thinking got.

In the end, the event (that I'd blabbed about) happened before any word of it (or my indiscretion) had got out, I breathed a sigh of relief, and got on with my normal life and my normal drinking.

Don't know why I felt the need to share that - just to let you know that we can all be led to a very dark place, and that there is a way out.

Hi pat, sorry I was unable to post earlier. I'm so pleased that you've had a positive experience with your gp. I hope work has gone ok today. I often find the worry is often worse than the reality. In terms of your cover story, just keep it low key, say as little as possible.

We have people over for football and dinner tonight. I would usually have started already. I am craving the wine sitting in the kitchen. I have negotiated with myself that sharing one bottle with friend over the evening in acceptable. I hate sharing a bottle - I always hover vulture-like worried that I won't get my share! Tonight I'm viewing it as a simple way not to drink more than my share.

Well done everyone else for your achievements. Whether its 1, 3 or almost 50 every day is one more along on our journey

Alison my best tactic had been to delay the first drink for as long as possible. So for your first drink CHOOSE to have something long and thirst quenching and non-alcoholic - soda and lime, ruby grapefruit with tonic, or one of those lovely cordials - ginger and lemongrass, or pomegranate and something.

The same again for your second drink.

You will find that this has a number of consequences.....

1. Your guest will be 2 glasses into the wine so you can't have the biggest share. I know that this sounds scary, but you may find that they only have 2 small glasses, and there will still be plenty left for you (if you need it).... because the next consequence is...
2. You may find that after 2 big glasses of something lovely and refreshing and re-hydrating, you strangely don't feel quite as much like have a glass of wine as you did at 6 o'clock. Maybe you won't even have any at all.
3. Because you are well hydrated before you start, you won't guzzle the wine, and you are much less likely to have a hangover.
4. It is really easy to explain - "oh I'll have a glass of wine in a minute, I'm just having this first because I'm really thirsty"
5. It is a million times easier to have your first 2 drinks as non-alcoholic than to have wine and then switch for your final 2 drinks. Really.

Hope the evening goes well.

And now, I'm going to fill p this thread....

CLICK HERE FOR THE NEW THREAD

Only 5 posts to go....

Till we can all post again....

On the new thread CLICK HERE

See you over there xx

Final post here - this thread is now full so CLICK ON HERE TO BE MAGICALLY TRANSPORTED TO THE NEXT THREAD where all the wonderful support and encouragement will continue.

See you there,
Venus xx