The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Springing Into Spring Like Super Spingy Springs On A Springy Day!

[Mouseface]

Hello everyone, I'm Mouse :)

Welcome to the Bus, Gerald. Of course it's an imaginary Bus, and we're all aware of that, but we've been on this Bus for a bloomin' long time now so this place kinda feels like home.

See, the thing is, we're a mix of drinkers, non drinkers, total abstainers, and also posters that are or have been, somewhere in between, around the block and back again!

There are no hard and fast rules here, just No judging, No bitching about others and most certainly No expectations of YOURSELF.

No-one can say what will or will not happen whilst you're posting here. You just have to take the ride, One Day At A Time.

There are two sayings that we have painted down either side of the Bus :-

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

You've started to read this thread for a reason, and you'll either carry on and maybe Name Change (or not) and post, walk away, or realise that this is all about YOU, cry for a bit, and then come and take a seat :)

For those who would like a bit of our almost 4 year history, have a read of THIS TRULY INSPIRING THREAD

- AND THIS IS OUR PREVIOUS THREAD TO THIS ONE

We're not a quiche or a clicky group, four years is a long time and longer when you're pissed for some of it, so whilst the threads may look 'clicky', I can promise you, it's just that we all 'know' one another because we've been here for a bit but you'll soon get to know us all, who loves what (CHEEEEEEEESE), but we were all 'new posters' at one time, weren't we? :)

Hello Pat45 I'll join you on day one :)

This is my first time back on the bus for ages. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, and want to stop.

9 out of 10 times I drink I get drunk. I've been lucky to avoid anything worse than talking rubbish loudly and the odd bruise.

I have a(nother) hangover today and am feeling rough. I've been told by my GP that I need to avoid drinking, but have been drinking anyway. My best friend asked me this week 'Don't you care?' about my drinking and that pulled me up short.

I'm off to Glastonbury for a week with my DSis who is supportive, and want to stay dry and enjoy the whole event.

Welcome pat and balls you are sure to get great support and advice on here

pat - just to say hello, welcome and we are all here for you. I empathise with all that you say and you have my absolute sympathy - I really get that hiding out at home thing. Good luck with unpeeling yourself from the covers - alcohol is so tempting but so dangerous in this kind of situation. I hope work is ok and that they will be understanding if you explain things to them.

Welcome balls and all good luck to you.Sounds like you have the motivation to get started from your GP, so hopefully that's a step in the right direction. Look forward to the journey - we are all in this together..

Welcome all and thanks to those who have asked after Ds. He has done all 4 days this week and should be OK tomorrow so a full week in the bag.
Have managed to get the address of one of the boys so will drop a note in to introduce us to the parents and see if the boy wants to come round and play/hang out at the weekend.

Umm, could someone clean up the camel spit please!

That's fab news ma!

Welcome Alison, pat and balls :) quick check in, day 5 and I'm going to try and moderate this weekend. The less I drink, the worse the hangovers when I do....

Great news ma, I really feel for you both

Thanks very much for your support which is making me feel less isolated. I did manage to get out of bed, had a shower and spent the evening driving DC about. My spirits are picking up a bit and I haven't had a drink today. I am not even craving a drink which is highly unusual for me. I think this disaster has scared me. I stand to lose an awful lot if I lose my job.

I can't tell work what happened as I would be in serious trouble. That is actually the thing that is torturing me the most. I have had to make up a lie for failing to do the job. I had to invent a big lie in order to make it believeable and what's more I haven't even told those closest to me that it is a lie. So I am lying to every single person I know. All this over drink.

I have recently been thinking that my drinking could not go on and was half hoping for a disaster to make me stop. I even thought if I got done for drink driving it would at least put an end to it. So here I am in a dreadful situation which is causing me massive anxiety but I am actually thinking that maybe this will be a turning point.

I hope everyone had a decent day and if not, perhaps there is a glimmer of hope that tomorrow might be better.

Ma, I am delighted to hear you got four days under

Posted too soon. I meant to say Ma, great news about your son going to school for 4 days. I hope things continue and if not, that you find a way to work it out. Its awful when your DC are suffering.

Hi pat, your post is so heartfelt, I'm sorry that things have snowballed for you. Can you make any progress with the work that needs to be done? Can you let someone at home into your confidence so that you feel less isolated there?

ma that's such positive news, and what a lovely pro-active parent you are, with your continued support your son will settle. My brother had a similarly tough time at senior school.

Hello balls, yes me too with the drunk 9/10 times. I often think I'd rather not drink than just limit myself to one

Ok, enough waffling...I drank a bottle of wine lastnight. I had really thought that by beginning to post on here my behaviour would magically change. Turns out I still find it easy to lie to myself even when I have a forum in which to admit that. I'm trying to take some lessons from it, trying to figure out my triggers.

1. I only drink so much when I'm at home on my own. Dh was out. He hates how much I drink. He would definitely have commented before I reached the end of the bottle which would have made me stop. I need to plan ahead for nights when he's out.
2. I seem to remember drinking a lot at the same time last year. Playing the long game, I need to prepare for the light evenings, going to bed early with a good book can be as appealing in the summer as in the winter.
3. I know this week will involve drinking, its my birthday next week, I'm off to a concert at the weekend and out for dinner with friends. That's ok, I just have to moderate.

Hello, long time lurker first time poster here. I guess it felt like if I posted I was admitting to myself that I have a problem. I've been drinking every evening for the past 15 years. I usually drink just under a bottle of wine each evening, sometimes more and occasionally less. Anyway, last Saturday I went out with some work colleagues, got hammered and made a bit of a prat of myself (not for the 1st time!) felt 'the shame' on Sunday and was so hungover/still drunk that I let down my family on Father's Day.

So I've decided to see if I can have a month off booze completely- and then take it from there. Day 6 of being dry today. I've been a real grumpy cow in the evenings without the wine and I'm thinking the weekend will be the hardest. Everything seems a bit boring in the evenings without the drink (how sad does that sound?) does the grumpiness pass or is this the real me??? I'm supposed to be out with friends tonight but think I will need to pass, drink will be too tempting! Plus the excuses as to why I'm not drinking. People don't know I've got a problem and I don't really want to tell everyone.

Thanks again to everyone who replied, it is helping me enormously. I can't tell anyone about the lie because my DC, parents, friends and colleagues all believe it and what's more are giving me an awful lot of sympathy for something that didn't happen. Writing these words is making my blood run cold.

Isn't it extraordinary that us drinkers have completely shamed ourselves and let lots of people down and then just plough on regardless. This is the 4th day that I haven't had a drink. Its very early on the 4th day so I am being a bit optimistic. The even more extraordinary thing is that I am starting to have brief flashes where I think this will blow over and I will drink moderately in future. Absolutely insane. I need help and am going to get it before I kill myself in some stupid drunken accident or God forbid harm someone else.

I went to AA once but I live in a very small town and all the people there were male and I knew half of them. I never went back. I will check online stuff. I have signed up to Soberistas and will read some help books.

I hope everyone finds the strength from somewhere to not drink today. This could be a nice uneventful day without ending it estranged from loved ones, injured or completely embarrassed. Being on this thread is strengthening my resolve not to drink. The thing is the resolve doesn't last long. Denial in action.

Alison, I can't make progress with the work. It had a deadline which is now passed. Total stupidity and not helping to make me look very professional. If this doesn't wake me up to reality nothing will. I am hoping that this is a turning point. I hope you have a lovely birthday and enjoy your weekend. Maybe try beer or something else low alcohol.

TENDTO well done on day 6. I feel your pain, everything does look boring without drinking wine but I am going to try boring which is better than scary. Incidentally procrastinating and complete fear of facing things has landed me in the mess I am in now.

Hey babes on my phone so can't nc but welcome new babes. This is a wonderful place to be. I'd recommend posting often. Don't worry about what you're saying just write it down. I'm on day 41. Casually sober on a Friday night. When I started all this I could barely manage 1 day and a Friday without wine seemed inconceivable. But it is possible and it gets easier with time. I'm feeling fantastic and very grateful every day to be sober. Xx

Hi Pat45 and sobersoc, thanks for the welcome!

Sobersoc- when does the feeling fantastic bit kick in? I'm still at the feeling irritated bit- this 1st weekend is going to be a real test. It's fri and the sun is shining and I would usually be doing wine o'clock in an hour. I'm trying to think of other things to look forward to- having a curry and watching a film later- though I do associate these things with wine :( but then I associate most things with wine!

Thanks for the welcome everyone. I drank last night, but there is now no booze in the house which is good.

Struggling at the mo... This is the hardest bit of the week so far. 6days dry. It's wine o'clock on a Friday eve, dh almost home. Must resist! It's so tempting to put a bottle in the freezer to chill it fast. Will I always feel like this??

Evening, tis me, Mouse

I'm home for the weekend. The course is going really well but as today would've been my Mum's 60th Birthday and we'd all be spoiling her lots and lots, sat round, together as a family, having so much fun and not wanting the day to end, I'm struggling.

But sober which is better than how I'd have coped in days gone by. Mum would have been proud of me for the achievements that I have made this week, the pool exercises, the gym, walking more with my crutches, trying to push past the pain barrier that little bit more, she'd be ever so proud and I want to tell her all about it.......

I'm calling Dad later and then he's coming to see us on Sunday, my best friend sent me a lovely card and so did DH's Mom which was so lovely of her.... it made me cry. I love her so much. :)

Sorry not to catch up but a certain little fish has missed his Mouse like you wouldn't believe so I will pop back later and try to catch up.

Hello to all the new Babes and any lovely lurkers out there.

I'm pooped and so emotionally drained. Life can be really hard some days but then again if it was easy, none of us would be here, would we? xxx

Popping in to say hi to all, especially the new babes.
soc I am so proud and so envious of you.
Why can't I do it?
mouse your mum IS proud sweetheart. Be still a wee moment and you will feel it all around you.
Give fishboy a squidge from his auntie demented.

Hello tendto, hope you made it through 'the wall' that is Friday. Six days is such an achievement.

balls I have to have no alcohol in the house for any reserve to hold. I often wonder how people maintain a well stocked drinks cabinet...it doesn't last long enough when I'm around

Well done mouse for staying sober on such an emotionally charged day.

I'm really pleased not to have had anything to drink tonight. It's a Friday, I've been to a world cup BBQ and now I'm home with the kettle boiling. I think being out helped. Like I say, my worst drinking is at home on my own.

Oh and pat thank you for the birthday wishes! I will try to drink something different as that has helped in the past when I've tried to moderate. What is it about wine?! Hope you're feeling more positive this evening. Enjoy your weekend and get yourself feeling stronger for the week ahead at work.

Hello, and welcome pat and balls and tendto. Long and horrid week at work over, and having a wine to mark the end of the week.

Funny thing is when I was on holiday in a distant lifetime 6 weeks ago I could drink all I liked and just didn't. Then when I had time to focus on diet I didn't cos it was carb-y.

It seems for me (and we are all different) drinking is triggered by stress, anxiety and a lack of wind-down time to make myself feel human in healthier ways. Not sure what I can do about it mind, just thinking aloud.

Worked out today I have had 2 lunch hours in 6 weeks and work an average 10 hour day - and yet still having to justify and re-apply for own job, which I don't even want. Grrrr.

Nice weekend planned though with kids. What are you all up to?

Mouse enjoy your weekend at home xxx

Happy Friday all xxx

Thanks for the words of encouragement last night everyone. I made it through Friday night without a drink. Woke up feeling great this morning which has made me realise how grumpy I often am on a sat morning. The sun is shining and I'm gonna do some gardening with the family. One more evening then I've been dry a whole week! :)

Well done tendto!! That is fantastic. Enjoy your fuzz free morning

lookingfor your recent weeks at work sound horrendous, I hope you have a lovely weekend in the sun to make up for it. Very interesting what you say about time needed to wind down. Perhaps that's why Friday's are so hard because there is very little time between the end of the working week and the beginning of our preciously short weekend time. I had time yesterday afternoon to sit down with a book and a cup of tea for half an hour which certainly helped me to unwind - perhaps this contributed to me not drinking last night? It's not always possible though and Friday's are often so hectic. What kind of things help you to relax?

Hello, just jumping in here, have been alcohol free since Tuesday but Saturday nights are hard! Friday's ok for me as I fast on 5:2 (deliberately to cut alcohol)
Alcohol and I have a very long and undistinguished history.
Hello and see you all soon again xo

Hello everyone, day 4, struggling a bit but keeping the faith. On call today (every cloud....) which will probably be my saving grace. Tomorrow will be hard. The aftermath of tonight, it may be the new start I need or it may knock me on my arse.

Off to CPD on Tuesday with all the temptations that hotel room service and bars offer. It sounds daft but my dog is helping to keep me strong(ish). Without her I'm nowt.

Hope everyone has a lovely one, x