Inviting a Crossdresser on your Hen Night

[rachelmonday1]

I'm actually a guy that enjoys crossdressing and am very fortunate to have a number of female friends, one of whom is getting married and has invited me to join her friends on her Hen Night. I don't look too bad when I'm dressed as Rachel and often go out with the girls with no problems.

I'm happily married and my wife understands the "Rachel" side of me, but thinks it's odd that a girl would invite a crossdresser on her Hen Night.

Any views out there?

Well that is my point Fairenuff our hormones do affect behavior and just because a man wears women's clothes does not make him female - not all behaviors are socially constructed and can be put on and off but are driven by biology.

I have read this thread with great interest.

I suspect part of the problem is acceptance by society.

A man in skirts, or with a blouse, will attract attention and probably abuse.

Looking clearly like a woman, in stereotypical female attire, is probably safer for the OP in public, as is going by a female name.

In a society where men and women would just wear what they feel like, I suspect the OP would wear whatever he liked without the need to "cross dress". Going out in heels, a dress and a wig would just become dressing up, as for us women who feel just as comfortable in male looking shoes as high heels, or in baggy trousers as well as short skirts or a cleavage.

I don't really know whose fault is it, if other men or actually women, for men being stuck with the suit and shirt or trouser/short and t-shirt combos and the flat heel clunky look.

We actually allow much more freedom in dressing for women that we do for men.

^A man wearing a dress or other clothes currently associated with women, can be the object of ridicule, even in this day and age.

It's how you wear them. Parodying a stereotypical 'ideal' of what a woman should look like if she wants to be seen as attractive (or even acceptable to some) is what attracts ridicule sometimes, not fabric and cloth.

Well that is my point Fairenuff our hormones do affect behaviour

You must have misunderstood me Honey. I was saying that hormones do not make OP behave like a woman.

He starts parodying what he considers 'a woman' when he puts his 'femine' wig on and stuffs his bra.

But that video shows what is considered acceptable attire for men, the kilt.
And most pictures were from runways or red carpet, not every day life.
Most men don't show up for work in kilts, let alone any other sort of skirt.
And will be turned away from some restaurants if they don't wear a tie, or a jacket, or even sleeves. Whereas us women can show up virtually in our underwear.

And women had to fight hard (and die) for the right to dress like that. I'm sure if OP really wanted to just be a man in a skirt, he could find 'the look' that doesn't raise any more eyebrows than his current dressing does.

He is obviously willing and able to put the effort into finding everything he needs. Men across the world today wear skirts and robes, in different cultures. Priests have different coloured robes for different times of the church calendar. There is a lot of dressing up amongst males, just that some of it is not currently 'common' does not mean it never can be.

You are right, Fairenuff.

I just wondered where the main pressure for men came from. If from women or from other men.
Would most of us be happy to be with a man who dressed in heels and a short skirt in everyday life? Would we stand by that man? Would we find him sexy?
Sometimes we have women here seeking help because their partners came out with their want to wear what we still consider as exclusive of females.

Just wondering if the sexist societal constructs about clothes are actually maintained mostly by men or women these days.

It's not me attaching the meanings to the clothes it is the crossdressers. That. Is. The. Point. This has been covered so many times on this thread happy.

We covered this on other threads.

It is convenient for crossdressers to say they fear violence but in my actual experience of non-crossdressing men wearing clothes rather than crossdressing this does not happen.

It also doesn't explain why you wear the bra and wig in the house.

Frankly those arguments are just designed to make you feel better IMO.

Everything you say just confirms my view tbh.

And you are not being consistent. You wear it because women feel pressure and to sympathise but earlier you said women didn't feel pressure.

Not to mention you are still equating womanhood with entrenched gender roles.

And yes men aping women are ridiculed but so are women... Because being a woman is considered lesser than being a man and a man disempowering himself visibly is a target of ridicule.

Would most of us be happy to be with a man who dressed in heels and a short skirt in everyday life? Would we stand by that man? Would we find him sexy?

For me, it is more about how he acts.

If my dh wanted to prance about mimicking what he thought an attractive woman looked like and how she behaved, I would be very

If he wanted to go to work in a skirt and behave as he always behaves I wouldn't have a problem with it.

Exactly fairenuff.

Again, mixed points. Yes I would wear skirts, dresses and make-up as Richard if I could do so without ridicule by todays society. Also, it is true that men can wear robes and kilts (not quite dresses and skirts) in other cultures, but not yet in ours.

Crap.

TERF = Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist

It is generally used in an insulting fashion to dismiss the views of women who disagree that male to female trans people are biological women.

So like Julie Bindel for example?

But I wonder if the OP doesn't feel pushed into having two separate personas because he feels pressured by society to be either one or the other instead of something in the middle.

Whether society is actually more permissive than that or not may be beside the point. We may still perceive individually the pressures society put on us.

We don't know how much the OP actually changes in behaviour when he dresses up.
I know I do change a bit depending on the clothes I wear, which probably also reflect my mood.

And even if it weren't it's such a rubbish excuse. Women get ridiculed every single fucking day just for being women... Really offensive to promote such horrible stereotypes just to avoid this imaginary ridicule.

Of course lweji but does being under pressure mean he gets to become part of the actual problem?

Men and women feel under pressure from sexism - well established. Does that mean they are all justified in stepping on other people to feel better?

A man could not turn up to my work in a skirt! He would be laughed out the office and ridiculed by his colleagues. People would assume it was a bet! Let's be realistic here, women have far more choice day to day in terms of clothing and fashion than men do in western society.
Whether or not we as individuals would accept men in dresses, it doesn't change the fact that society certainly as a whole does not.

How do you know bench?

What kind of ridicule do you get when you 'wear skirts, dresses and make-up as Richard' OP that you don't get when you parody a woman?

Those men in that video don't look ridiculous. Yes, they are high fashion but so is your persona. You could easily go out like that. They are not kilts, there are lots of tights, leggings and skirts of all materials. And many men wear makeup that does not look ridiculous on them.

Bench I think the difference is if a man turned up at work 'dressed as a woman' as opposed to 'wearing a skirt'.

Come, we've all seen David Beckham and Eddie Izzard and all the usual 'men in skirts' that look great.

Because although I work for a particularly forward minded company that employs people from a diverse range of cultures and backgrounds, a man in a dress/skirt is still so outlandish and unheard of that it would be considered a joke. I hope that in the future things will change, but I can understand why Richard wouldn't feel comfortable walking down the street in a summer dress. In some towns he would probably get beaten up.