Well that question certainly developed into an epic!
Thankyou all for your points of view, opinions, questions and concerns. I never expected to provoke such debate, but have learned a lot and it's been good to see opinions from all sides.
For me, some replies have suggested that I was looking for some kind of approval for my actions, which is not the case. Some have also suggested that my wife had issues with me going, but again this is not the case and I was probably mistaken in posting this in the Relationships section. I had posted both of the above earlier, but it was quite early on, in what became a very, very long thread.
I have come to consider whether the term "cross-dresser" is even correct for me. It certainly seems true in terms of various definitions that can be found in general dictionaries, but maybe the use is changing.
As for me, probably one of my very first memories is, a child of 2 or3, being dressed up by my elder sister, in her clothes, and taken to one of her friends houses to play. I had no problem with it, but I seem to recall that my parents did when they found out! All through my child and through to the present day, "pretty" clothes have always appealed to me and I do feel different when I wear them....whether this is "femininity" or not, who knows? All that I can say is that such clothes do make me feel and act differently.
As for being accepted by the Hen as Richard or Rachel; I was dressed as Rachel when she invited me. She has never met me as Richard and I wanted to go as Rachel. I didn't asked whether she wanted me to go as Richard or Rachel and simply (and I think naturallly) assumed that it would be the latter. To this end, I even asked her if any of the other girls would have a problem and, if they did, I wouldn't need to know who, but I would decline and not deliberately spoil anyones evening. None of the 15 girls had a problem.
I'm neither trying to defend or decry anyones thoughts on this thread, as it has been very interesting in catching up of with the posts of the last few days. I can see the much broader issues being brought up by some, but can also see the culture of "live and let live". No surprise that I subscribe to the latter, however I do sincerely hold women in the highest esteem and the only part of this discussion is where this is doubted , ie: aping, demeaning etc. Nothing could be further from the truth.
As it turned out, my wife dropped me off, I had a fabulous night doing things that it's mainly girls that do, my wife picked me up and all concerned are happy.
Thankyou all for your contributions and I think a lot of people have given a lot of thought to this...even though it was only intended as a simple question.
xx