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Original poster

Inviting a Crossdresser on your Hen Night

601 replies

rachelmonday1 · 04/04/2014 16:08

I'm actually a guy that enjoys crossdressing and am very fortunate to have a number of female friends, one of whom is getting married and has invited me to join her friends on her Hen Night. I don't look too bad when I'm dressed as Rachel and often go out with the girls with no problems.

I'm happily married and my wife understands the "Rachel" side of me, but thinks it's odd that a girl would invite a crossdresser on her Hen Night.

Any views out there?

OP posts:
BelaLugosisShed · 04/04/2014 16:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FolkGirl · 04/04/2014 16:57

I do actually get your point Offred. And I don't disagree.

Men who cross dress rarely put on jeans, a t shirt and converse. It's always very 'glam' with high heels. It's a very narrow idea of what 'dressing like a woman' means.

But this thread isn't really about that, and so I think in the case of this particular poster, I don't think he will have any problems doing it on his night out.

FolkGirl · 04/04/2014 16:59

I don't think it matters what the other women there will think anyway.

If the hen has invited him and he wants to go it's no one else's business anyway.

This thread wasn't about debating the politics of cross dressing, it was about one man asking about going out to an event he'd been invited to in the capacity in which he'd been invited. He's not planning on crashing the Hen night!

Original poster
rachelmonday1 · 04/04/2014 17:00

Waterlego: Thankyou :)

Folkgirl: That's how my nights out usually go. I've never had any problems before, but was just interested in whether you Ladies viewed Hen Nights any differently.

Offred: I can sort of see your point and I suppose that maybe people in my exact situation (where I simply enjoy expressing a feminine side, although maybe you think that there should be no such thing), should look upon ourselves not as crossdressers, but more as guys who like to dress up! :)

OP posts:
Offred · 04/04/2014 17:02

It's not based on my previous experiences. It is based on the beliefs it is necessary to hold in order to call yourself rachel the crossdresser. They are sexist beliefs.

Original poster
rachelmonday1 · 04/04/2014 17:04

BelaLugosisShed: Ouch!! If I or anyone else thought I looked that bad, believe me I wouldn't set foot out of the door!! There are pics on my profile to prove my point, although the point about jeans and t-shirt is well made.

OP posts:
Offred · 04/04/2014 17:04

He asked for views btw. My view is cross dressing is sexist so is going out with the girls, hen dos, stags etc. no-one on a hen do should have anything to object to therefore.

Fairenuff · 04/04/2014 17:07

I'm happily married and my wife understands the "Rachel" side of me, but thinks it's odd that a girl would invite a crossdresser on her Hen Night.

I have two questions for you OP.

  1. What does your wife think is 'odd' specifically
  2. Would you be happy for her to go on a stag night with the lads?
Viviennemary · 04/04/2014 17:07

Can't see why not. Why shouldn't people be accepting. If that's what somebody wants to do.

Ivehearditallnow · 04/04/2014 17:09

Bela What absolutely fucking nonsense!

You're acting like it's the 50's and women are expected to wear skirts and get their bums pinched in the office. It's not like that now at all (newsflash).

It's brave for a transvestite (and transgender) person to leave the house to go to the shops with chavs and ignorant fools shouting 'gay' and 'tranny' at them etc, without being told they're being sexist of all things too Hmm

The people who are telling Rachel she should go are actually saying to:

  • go out with your friend and meet some new people
  • wear what you want

There's plenty of women walking around without 'long hair' and glittery outfits not getting abuse and being perfectly comfortable. Making out people who would be comfortable in the company of a cross-dresser are brain-dead bimbos is actually quite sexist of you Bella and Off

So, you know, nice one Hmm

BeCool · 04/04/2014 17:11

I agree the idea of a man expressing his "feminine" side in a short skirt, false eyelashes and high heels is as offensive as any stereotype.

But I'm not offended by the OP wanting to dress like that in itself. Not that he is saying he is dressing like that.

OP I do agree "dressing up" might be a less offensive way of putting it.

So what are you wearing Rachel?

Fairenuff · 04/04/2014 17:13

See, I think the crossdressing is a red herring on this thread.

The point is that the OP's wife is not happy with him going on this hen night.

He is her husband. How many wives would not think it odd that her husband was going on a hen night?

I think his wife has a point.

She isn't happy about this. We don't know why yet because OP hasn't really clarified or explained her feelings at all.

Ivehearditallnow · 04/04/2014 17:14

So - if you see a WOMAN in a short, glittery revealing outfit is she sexist as well? Or is it just when a man does it? Confused

Must be tiring being this outraged all the time Grin

Have fun OP. And wear what you want.

fromparistoberlin73 · 04/04/2014 17:16

Men who cross dress rarely put on jeans, a t shirt and converse

well of course they fucking dont!!!! then they would be dressing in what they normally wear. Look this is nonsensical, a man that for his reasons wants to feel "feminine" will wear stereotypically fem outfits.

I hope Rachel xcomes back to tell us he is wearing tan wedge heels, a nice classic bob, some neutral make up and a nice shift dress from COS

Original poster
rachelmonday1 · 04/04/2014 17:16

Fairenuff: My wife is happy that I go, for the same reasons that most of you hear have expressed ie: I've been invited by friend who happens to like Rachel and wants me to help celebrate her Hen Night. The part that she finds "odd" is that, while she accepts the Rachel side of me and the fact that I go out with girlfriends, she thinks that Hen Nights are for "real" girls and wouldn't have invited a guy like me to hers.

As for Stag parties....I love them and have been on lots! In may sound odd, but I'm actually just a regular red-blooded guy, with a liking of dressing up now and again!

OP posts:
Offred · 04/04/2014 17:17

It's the beliefs not the clothes.

Ivehearditallnow · 04/04/2014 17:19

It isn't a belief it's a compulsion.

Original poster
rachelmonday1 · 04/04/2014 17:20

As for the outfit......I'm torn between two looks:

  1. a blue-patterned minidress from Reiss with gold heels and going blonde

or

  1. a black a green silk top with a chinese collar, black lacework skirt from Coast with black heels, going brunette

No jeans!! lol

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 04/04/2014 17:22

My wife is happy that I go...

Well, no she's not is she? Because you started this thread to say that she is not happy about it.

The part that she finds "odd" is that... she thinks that Hen Nights are for "real" girls and wouldn't have invited a guy like me to hers.

So, as I suggested, she thinks it is odd that a man is going on a hen night?

As for Stag parties....I love them and have been on lots! In may sound odd, but I'm actually just a regular red-blooded guy...

I didn't ask you whether you liked stag parties, I asked how you would feel if you wife went out on a stag night with the lads.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 04/04/2014 17:22

Pics on Rachel's profile would seem to show that she prefers a postmodern Madonna influence in her fashion choices Grin I think she looks great.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 04/04/2014 17:23

Oops, thread has moved on.

Go brunette OP, we rock.

Original poster
rachelmonday1 · 04/04/2014 17:26

Fairenuff: Apologies, I missed the point. I wouldn't have a problem with my wife going on a Stag Night at all. We completely trust each other and I'm sure she could hold her own with a bunch of guys. She's a very strong woman! :)

HeartsTrumpDiamonds: Thankyou!! :)

OP posts:
Offred · 04/04/2014 17:27

Yes... That last one was a 'real man' because he did martial arts... Exactly the point. It isn't a compulsion at all. How can you have a compulsion to adopt sexist views... Wearing clothes is not the same thing.

Original poster
rachelmonday1 · 04/04/2014 17:30

^"The part that she finds "odd" is that... she thinks that Hen Nights are for "real" girls and wouldn't have invited a guy like me to hers.

So, as I suggested, she thinks it is odd that a man is going on a hen night?"^

The "odd" reference was more to the fact that a woman had asked me to go on her Hen Night. She's perfectly happy for me to go and is even going to drop me off.

OP posts:
Aethelfleda · 04/04/2014 17:31

Well, it's your friend's Hen Night, she obviously wants you along! Different people have different views of what a hen night/stag do means to them. So go along, OP and have a great time....

(I'd go for the blue minidress and heels meself, well, I would if I were in your situation! Personally I fall off heels and am one of the ungirliest girls ever.)