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Original poster

Daters/Online daters - what comments/behaviour instantly think "nope?"

303 replies

JonSnowKnowsNothing · 31/03/2014 19:14

I'm mildly addicted to flicking through profiles on POF. Rarely meet anyone. Sometimes I end up chatting to people but mostly I barely even continue past a few messages. I know I'm intolerant but so many things annoy me:

  • Self-proclaimed music snobs who send you links to "awesome" bands and have a 30 strong list of the most obscure bands possible on their profile. Hate being forced to listen to some else's music - it just guarantees I will dislike it.
  • Men who try so hard to sound reasonable and "modern man" but slip up with gems such as "I don't mind you having your own career," or "looking for a passionate girl but not TOO opinionated, lol."
  • Anyone who tells anyone to "jog on" (cringe) *People who message, then follow it up five minutes later with "You there?" "Not talking then?" or "Oh...ok then....bye."

What are your instant turn-offs?

Disclaimer - I'm very aware I'm not perfect and probably have many irritating aspects to my personality!

OP posts:
Scarletohello · 03/04/2014 15:42

Im a size 14-16 and would describe myself as 'curvy' just so that someone knows they are not going to meet a size 10. I don't think there is an option to write clinically obese is there?

One guy asked me if I wanted a 'car meet' with him. I didn't bother replying.

Am quite enjoying being a bit rude to guys now whereas before I used to be ultra polite. There's so many dicks out there, I just don't understand where they get their lazy, entitled attitude from...

PigletUnrepentant · 03/04/2014 16:14

What does BBW means?

Scarletohello · 03/04/2014 16:16

Big beautiful woman

ImpOfDarkness · 03/04/2014 17:10

My worst was the guy whose first message was "hi" and the second all about how he was going to whisk me off for a romntic weekend in NY and whisper sweet nothings in my ear as I lazed in a bath full of rose petals. It was like he'd read an article once about what women want without ever speaking to an actual woman. Seriously creepy.

Peacie74 · 03/04/2014 19:51

I don't care if you're Louis Theroux .. photo with your tongue sticking out and you're dead to me. Fact!

BeforeAndAfter · 03/04/2014 19:56

I hate the whacky upside-down or sideways photo - usually with the tongue sticking out. Side-splittingly hilarious ...

Peacie74 · 03/04/2014 20:19

before - And that!

Denton2406 · 03/04/2014 20:55

Had a couple of msgs recently on Tinder ....."hey sexy, you look like you are up for some fun"....both along those lines! A classic from a few years ago on POF, his first message said "fancy a wet Thursday under the sheets" eugh! A friend of mine got "nice tits...highly f*able" classy!!

maggiemuggins · 04/04/2014 21:18

I have been on a dating website for about 4 weeks now and am ASTONISHED at the lack of care and attention some of the blokes put into their profile pic. I mean, seriously, it's basic common sense, not high level marketing! I have compiled my top 13 (it was 10 but I had to keep going). And yes, these are all genuine ones I have seen in the past month!

13 Things Not To Do in an Online Dating Profile Picture:

  1. Wear a hi-vis bib
  2. Take a selfie of yourself in the bathroom mirror with your other hand resting on your crotch (it looks like he may be unzipping)
  3. Have a picture of you with a woman (even if she has been badly cropped from it and you can only see half her face pressed against yours, not all of it)
  4. Have a picture of yourself with another man - especially if he is more good looking than you
  5. Have a picture of yourself with a GROUP of other men, and NO OTHER pictures to help identify who you are
  6. Use your child as a human shield
  7. Have a picture of you up a mountain/cycling/running a marathon, where you are barely visible
  8. Have a photo of your dog
  9. Have a picture of you in your wedding suit
10. Have a picture of you, pissed, in fancy dress/Xmas jumper at a works do 11. A picture captioned 'Me a bit drunk looking sad' 12. A picture of a man looking really angry sat at a kitchen table with a bottle of Beefeater gin. And a pint pot. And the caption 'When I am in the kitchen I drink gin'. I am honestly not making this up 13. Have a mosaic picture of yourself which you've made out of broken bits of CD
Latara · 04/04/2014 21:51

Maggie I have seen most of your list of what not to do's on Tinder recently! Especially puzzling are the group photos of men where you can't tell who the actual profile photo is supposed to be of.

BeforeAndAfter · 04/04/2014 22:22

I'm loving No 13 in Maggie's list - a mosaic pic made out of CD bits... that is one creative bloke with waaaaay too much time on his hands.

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 04/04/2014 22:46

This thread encompasses all that is wrong with OD. Only tonight on POF I read a profile stating that girls (yes, girls!) need to be intelligent, use good grammar and spell check their profiles. Just a shame he didn't do the same with his as it was littered with typos and bad grammar.

I received this classic message a few weeks ago:

"You compare favorably with the average taiwan beauty. Must be you are from the higher social status from me or you are a highy skilled professional.

Anyhow, I think you look hot. I definitely go for your type. I'll take you to a tea platation in Taiwan and we'll feast on exotic foods."

Needless to say, I didn't reply Hmm. Although the promise of a trip to Taiwan to eat exotic foods had me tempted Grin.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 04/04/2014 22:47

I still don't understand why someone would assume that if a person liked blues, R&B, reggae, Bhangra, jazz but not rap, that they were racist

I wouldn't, I've never said I would. Confused

What if they liked rap by Eminem, The Beastie Boys, Vanilla Ice, and GLC, all white bands?

They are not all 'white bands'. I've also never met ANYONE who would like that combination of artists in anything other than an aggressively ironic or contrarian way. :-)

Schwarzkopf has a very unusual mind.

I know :-) Flowers

Not liking rap does not mean racist.
Agree. I've never said that. See my second post and also Vrtra's response. She put it much better than me.

ballsballsballs · 04/04/2014 23:04

I met DH through online dating. He was sporting a Brian Blessed style beard, but his profile made me laugh. Thankfully he's better looking in the flesh.

I chatted briefly with a 'personal protection officer' who was looking for his 'Ursula Andress'. All of his photos were of him astride a tank or holding a gun. Overcompensating?

LyndaCartersBigPants · 04/04/2014 23:35

I remember one whose name was something like Mr Fabulous, sub-title was "genius seeks slapper" and he went on to say "form an orderly queue of tarts, gold diggers and bunny boilers" singing his own praises about how clever he was and pointing out that "the correct spelling is independent ladies".

I have to admit I found him quite funny and he obviously made an impression as I remember him two years later! Wonder if he ever met his Mrs Wonderful?

Scarletohello · 04/04/2014 23:54

Why oh why are there so many twats out there..??

Beckamaw · 05/04/2014 12:58

You see, I'm glad I never attempted 'on-line dating'.
Here, we have a spelling pedant. Totally anal about it!
I fell in love with a man whose dyslexia was statemented - in the days that nobody was statemented!

He is the best thing ever, but I would have dismissed him in seconds. Grin

educationforlife · 05/04/2014 13:34

I am in my early-fifties ok, I know how old that is and I spend a veryfew months on GSM.
One day, I sat down and went through the 350 odd (and I use that word in all its meanings!) matches they came up with.
These were men aged from 50 to 59.
I first eliminated all those who put an 'essential' age limit of 40 on their profiles.
That reduced the number by two thirds!!!
I then eliminated all those who wanted or might want children (on the grounds that they were obviously hoping for replies from 30-yr-olds)
I was now down from 350 to 80 odd!
Then I eliminated all those who stipulated that they wanted a tall slim woman (I am 5 ft 4 and a size 10 - obviously not whatever they thought they were looking for) including anything that said what their match will or must be or any who had a list of 'demands' that was 4 times the length of their profile.
That took me down to 30 odd.
I then eliminated any whose profile picture looked like worzel gummidge or were dressed as vampires etc. Partly because I thought that anyone who thought they looked good like that was also terminally deluded. BTW, there were a very great many of this in the category looking for women 20 years younger, too!!
That left me with about 10 profiles to read to see if I found them interesting.
Actually made me wonder if the sign up fee was worth it. Confused

DollyTwat · 05/04/2014 14:36

Love this thread!
I joined Tinder yesterday so lots of these stories are fabulous and true!
There seems to be an abundance of snow boarders near me, and cyclists. I chatted to one guy who was quite pointed and said 'you look quite tall in your picture. Are you tall?'
So I'm 5'6 so not tall. Had to ask how shot he was. No reply

Another who said he HAD 3 kids, not any more. I asked what had happened to them, his controlling ex wife had tried to destroy him with them apparently. Hmmm

Tinder is better fun than POF I think

fortyplus · 06/04/2014 08:33

I'm 5'9" and someone said - 'I'm a bit shorter than you're looking for but I could always stand on a box - but anyway it only matters when we're standing up!' Bleeurgh!!

Legologgo · 06/04/2014 08:38

i am happily married but look at the Times site when I cant sleep
agree SUNGLASSES why?

and men in vest tops over 40 ew
and EVERYONE wants to walk along beaches and watch dvds

fortyplus · 06/04/2014 08:41

Btw I'm fairly sporty and posted a profile photo of myself looking relaxed/confident/happy in a canoe. I put on some 'normal' ones too, but I thought that would make my profile stand out. You wouldn't believe how many emails I receive from blokes in their 20's and 30's!! I'm 53. I always reply politely and say I'm looking for someone a bit nearer my own age but it makes me feel a bit queasy. Can't understand why so many older blokes would love that sort of age difference.

Mrscaindingle · 06/04/2014 09:34

I'm really new to all of this, joined a couple mainly to have a look at what's out there and haven't really set up my profile yet.

Did see one guy who looked nice, tall and slim, said he was fairly active. He also wrote as an added bonus that he owned his own house with front and back garden. So that was a no.

Btw what is POF?

Latara · 06/04/2014 09:48

Plenty of Fish. It's a free site. I'm thinking of joining.

Mrscaindingle · 06/04/2014 09:52

Free site sounds good, I'm slightly hesitant to pay the fairly hefty fees for the others as I'm not too sure that OD is what I want right now.

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