My boyfriend asks your moot - was my Facebook post 'grossly inappropriate'?

[Fullyswindonian]

I have a small Facebook Friendlist consisting of 99% family and old school friends.

One of the people I don't actually know in real life was 'friended' for his similar views.

I recently read something that poignantly reminded me of him, so posted it on my Facebook Wall, but without direct reference to him. It could have easily applied to a small number of other people on my Friendlist, but he was the only one who chose to respond with comments.

My boyfriend considered it 'grossly inappropriate' as he believes the Facebook friend is interested in me, despite the fact we have no dialogue and certainly nothing even remotely smutty or off topic has occurred. He isn't attractive to me in any way, in fact I find him 'unattractive' in most ways.

I will admit however to a small degree of naievety as I mostly fail to intuit when a man is interested in me, I've been told.

At my boyfriend's suggestion, I put my Facebook post up here for your inspection and opinion.
I would genuinely like to know if my post was inappropriate/ disrespectful to my boyfriend.
My post was prefixed with something along the lines of 'just read a poem by one of my favourites and it reminded me of someone on my Friendlist who is also all these things'.

My boyfriend and I are both mid Forties, neither married nor cohabiting, and I am the only one wothout children from a previous relationship. He is universally considered genuine, kind and fair.

Praise

I praise you because
you are artist and scientist
in one. When I am somewhat
fearful of your power,
your ability to work miracles
with a set-square, I hear
you murmuring to yourself
in a notation Beethoven
dreamed of but never achieved.
You run off your scales of
rain water and sea water, play
the chords of the morning
and evening light, sculpture
with shadow, join together leaf
by leaf, when spring
comes, the stanzas of
an immense poem. You speak
all languages and none,
answering our most complex
prayers with the simplicity
of a flower, confronting
us, when we would domesticate you
to our uses, with the rioting
viruses under our lens.

~RS Thomas

too late indeed JapaneseMargaret :o

Moot is used appropriately but unusually. A moot is a gathering for debate. Perfect for mn and maybe should be revived in this context!

A lot of unnecessary rudeness again that I suspect would never be said to a persons face had they solicited an opinion IRL.

People are projecting all kinds of stuff onto you.

Sorry to hear your relationship has faltered OP but I suspect there'll be a few people on here crowing at that sadly, people being what they are.

I don't see anyone crowing. I think people are surprised that an inappropriate action has been treated as a dumping offence.

Cinnabar (love the name by the way- Cinnabon + Big Red gum are two of my fave US junk foods and your name looks like a combo of the two )

I guess I inferred that by the tone of the earlier posts, some of those posters would be privately thinking in that way. I was disturbed by the level of hostility. Kind of a pack mentality.

BF sounds very concrete in his thinking and very rigid with regards to how he wants you to conduct your life. Best off without him.

Glad to see I'm not the only one who sat up and went "oi oi?" at the OP's post that explained how her bf kindly let her know nearly all the men of her acquaintance were flirting with her and had to be cut out of her life.

Annie's Crystal Ball is a little undecided here whether the future holds (a) bf strolling back and graciously allowing her another chance provided she closes down Facebook, never speaks to another man and for preference wears an opaque veil forever more, or (b) bf acquiring another love interest with indecent haste, suggesting possibly that there was some element of projection in his accusations. There is also, of course, a small possibility of (c): OP getting it together with the multi-talented Welsh poetry appreciator. But I wouldn't put my money on that one.

Have not had time to read whole thread so sorry if this has been said before but I think this was inappropriate. You have put a poem about how wonderful and creative and sensitive god is and how he is so much more than we reduce him to with our own needs and you have said this reminds you of a Facebook friend. So you have elevated him to a god or you have shown yourself to not understand the poem you are 'sharing'. Either way it must be very embarrassing for your boyfriend.

I feel sorry for OP.
I think she'll be kicking herself because she never thought the post on fb through very well. I believe she did it in innocence...it was intended as a mutual appreciation thing...but not romantically. It's a gushy sort of poem but I genuinely don't think it occurred to her at the time, that it was about to be badly misconstrued.

Some posts on this thread are awful.
She has made a mistake. A faux pas. It is fair to say that.
However, she has consistently stuck to her story; that she is definitely not attracted to this man.
I think it would be better to take her word for that, because after all she would know...and help her sort out the mess she has made. No need for the character assassination at all.

OP - you'll need to give your bf time to calm down. Then talk.

Raffles, you might enjoy these Facebook poems

Yes, Facebook is the work of the devil, the poem was inappropriate and it was unwise to dedicate it to an egotist. However, these are incidental to the central issue IMO (even if it was the point of the original post).

And OP - you prefixed it "just read a poem by one of my favourites and it reminded me of someone on my Friendlist who is also all these things".

Then the poem opens by praising him for being an artist and a scientist, and then goes on to tell him you are in thrall to his power.

You can see how it looks bad right?

I shouldn't laugh, but really.

I would be deeply upset if my partner posted that for another female. Really I would be looking closely at my relationship - and I am surprised you cant see that. How would you feel if he had posted that for a female 'friend' ?

Lweji these guidelines suggest no more than two or three lines of poetry. It's one thing photocopying a single page of a book of poems for personal use, and copyright guidelines by photocopy machines will say that photocopying one oem from a book of poems is fine - but the OP has published the entire piece internationally and that is a different matter!

This is why I mostly just post pictures of my kitten on FB. Also, all my FB friends are people I've actually met in RL.

I don't really get that poem, is it just me ? Wtf is all that about cant be domesticated - maybe it is about cats after all?

Yuccan, thanks for the Wendy Cope link.

off topic but I don't get the poem either. Its a bit cheesy. I think writer wrote a lot in the Welsh language so it may be a shitty translation, but maybe a literary person will correct be. Is there a thread here for poems or books as Ive only just joined.
Mooting is an odd word. I belong to a mooting club where people discuss thins like human rights and stuff. It gets me out of the house but I use FB to send pictures of cats and sometimes I think of cats in the mooting club. Actually I wonder if there is a designated mooting thread.

adopts Kathy Bates baton rouge drawl "Facebook is the devil.."
Actually it isn't, but it depends how/why you use it. My stbxh used it to post sexually orientated stuff actually directly onto his friends walls, usually with a caption like "you are so sexy.." and then an openly sexually orientated conversation would take place between him and this friend/s.
I was upset and humiliated by shit like this as all our mutual friends could see it. I felt like a bloody idiot. Apparently everyone was laughing at me for my reaction, and I was a joke who couldn't take a joke. Ended up deactivating my account. And leaving, but obviously not just over this (one more straw on the proverbial camels back).
Sorry you've been dumped, OP, obviously what you posted was nothing near what my stbxh used to post/still posts, but if your BF found it inappropriate then he reacted in a way that felt right to him.

Poppylovescheese you dont sound too pleasant yourself

"My post was prefixed with something along the lines of 'just read a poem by one of my favourites and it reminded me of someone on my Friendlist who is also all these things'."

There, you couldn't be more direct on showing your interest for that friend you swear to find irritating, no wonder he replied the way he did, you publicly threw yourself at him and he accepted the offer.

No wonder your BF is disappointed, actually, it comes as a great shock that he is still with you.

Obviously, missed the page where you mentioned about being dumped, my apologies for the harsh comment.

This thread is just awful.

None of you have really thought about the OP have you??
her last posts 'I have been dumped' and you are all still going on and on about what was really a faux pas without any thought about her.

What a bunch of nice people you are