My boyfriend asks your moot - was my Facebook post 'grossly inappropriate'?

[Fullyswindonian]

I have a small Facebook Friendlist consisting of 99% family and old school friends.

One of the people I don't actually know in real life was 'friended' for his similar views.

I recently read something that poignantly reminded me of him, so posted it on my Facebook Wall, but without direct reference to him. It could have easily applied to a small number of other people on my Friendlist, but he was the only one who chose to respond with comments.

My boyfriend considered it 'grossly inappropriate' as he believes the Facebook friend is interested in me, despite the fact we have no dialogue and certainly nothing even remotely smutty or off topic has occurred. He isn't attractive to me in any way, in fact I find him 'unattractive' in most ways.

I will admit however to a small degree of naievety as I mostly fail to intuit when a man is interested in me, I've been told.

At my boyfriend's suggestion, I put my Facebook post up here for your inspection and opinion.
I would genuinely like to know if my post was inappropriate/ disrespectful to my boyfriend.
My post was prefixed with something along the lines of 'just read a poem by one of my favourites and it reminded me of someone on my Friendlist who is also all these things'.

My boyfriend and I are both mid Forties, neither married nor cohabiting, and I am the only one wothout children from a previous relationship. He is universally considered genuine, kind and fair.

Praise

I praise you because
you are artist and scientist
in one. When I am somewhat
fearful of your power,
your ability to work miracles
with a set-square, I hear
you murmuring to yourself
in a notation Beethoven
dreamed of but never achieved.
You run off your scales of
rain water and sea water, play
the chords of the morning
and evening light, sculpture
with shadow, join together leaf
by leaf, when spring
comes, the stanzas of
an immense poem. You speak
all languages and none,
answering our most complex
prayers with the simplicity
of a flower, confronting
us, when we would domesticate you
to our uses, with the rioting
viruses under our lens.

~RS Thomas

I think I need lessons in knowing when a man likes me - so many missed opportunities :-(

I think people are reading too much into the power of FB. Everything on FB is crap. Pictures of cats, quotes about powerful women, photos of socks on men's private bits. It really isn't to be taken seriously. If a friend of mine posted that poem I would just think move on!

I certainly don't think it is a reason for being dumped. Sounds like you are better without your controlling ex.

If the post had been more direct, mentioning the friend, and a little cheeky saying because he was such a Renaissance man and "knew it all", it wouldn't sound so cheesy.
It did sound a bit adoring, if not totally flirtatious.
His response, though, indicates he thought it was flirtatious, IMO. And that should have got an immediate no way response.

I like the poem - but it should probably have been posted without reference to anyone else tbh. It's too easy for someone to put their own interpretation on poetry.

However, as you're boyfriend made you remove all your exes from Facebook along with any man he felt was showing an interest in you (what about any women?) then he sounds deeply insecure & a little controlling tbh. You may have had a lucky escape (& better delete him now he's an ex). I'm sorry as you sound as if you are very keen on him but dumping you over this is odd as well. Take him at his word, don't have him back. FWIW I wouldn't remove any of my exes on my friends list just because my boyfriend told me to (the one I talk to most is gay anyway) - so I'd probably have been dumped long ago.

*your

& better delete him now he's an ex

And yes, you are better off without the controlling bf. Just thought I'd post that again. Don't beat yourself up.
My other comments are more so that you can learn from your experience how people can perceive things.

The phrase "It's a moot point" is pretty common though - same derivation.

I've just re-read the FB friend's comments - 'that's lovely' (ie that's a nice poem) and 'you're very special' (ie I like your taste in poetry) - to me, that doesn't add up to him thinking that the post was directed at him? Am I missing something here?

Agree with PPs comments about controlly BF though - 'exceptionally modest'? Ha! That's what he told you anyways....

By the way, R S Thomas only died in about 2000 so his work is still in copyright and reproducing it in full both on FB and on MN you are in breach of copyright law and effectively stealing from R S Thomas's estate. You might want to read Wendy Cope's article You Like my Poems? So Pay for Them. Buying a copy of a book and giving it to someone is more appropriate than nicking it like this.

'genuine, kind and fair'

I think not.

I think if he really knew you, he would have accepted this as part of you. The you who is slightly naive and trusting.

And for what it's worth, I can't tell if someone's trying to flirt with me either. I believe you.

If he's dumped you you're free to get together with Mr Poem.

O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
It wad frae mony a blunder free us,
An' foolish notion:
What airs in dress an' gait wad lea'e us,
An' ev'n devotion!

If we're going to start taking lessons from Celtic poetry, how about some Burns?

Yes, Cinnabar, moot point is common - but my point is that 'asks your moot' isn't.

My stbxh was always posting inappropriate stuff like this directed at other women on FB. I wasn't 'allowed' to complain or be upset. It's yet another reason he's my stbxh

Very true.

Perhaps the OP or her XBF has a legal background, where mooting is still a recognised way of learning the art of rhetoric?

YuccanLiederHorticulture
If the poem was in a book, it is a small part of the book, so it can be quoted, just as long as it's referenced.
If the OP posted many poems from the same book, then it might be copyright breach, if I'm not mistaken.

You were lucky to fnd a woman willing to delete all those nasty, leery men from her Facebook for you.

Expecting her to do that makes you seem a tad pathetic in the eyes of most women. Just so's you know, like. :)

yes....moot point, very common, a cow's opinion.

is the op channeling Sheldon

I can't believe nobody has said it's a cow's opinion yet.

It's moo.

I noticed moot was used incorrectly but perhaps ops first language isn't English. Maybe Welsh?

Too late.

I think it's inappropriate. It's the FB equivalent of getting on the stage at an event and 'dedicating the next song to someone who is very special to me' and then naming some random while your DPs heart crashes through the floorboards. Then singing a hymn of praise.

Can I just say that saying you find someone irritating and unattractive in all ways and being poignantly reminded of them by poetry like that are completely contradictory.

If you genuinely find someone irritating and annoying and unattractive in all ways, and don't know them well, you delete them from your Facebook, you don't post poetry at them.

If I found someone irritating the only poetry I might read that might remind me of them would be a poem about an irritating person. But even then probably not because they wouldn't be at the front of my mind.

I don't know if you just have a stunning lack of self-awareness and genuinely think you dislike this man, or are saying that to defend yourself, but if it's the former, you need to think about that.

Moot

noun

1. an assembly of the people in early England exercising political, administrative, and judicial powers.