I've interviewed lap dancers and sex workers. Yes you get girls who come out with the 'I'm in control/empowered/exploiter line - maybe some of them truly feel that way.
The ones I spoke to either: a) said that but were incredibly young when they started doing it (obvs - as nubile young bodies are preferred), sounded like they were just trotting it out and had never given themselves the chance or had the confidence to do anything else which was utterly depressing and hideous.
b) revealed how little they are paid to get nearly (gstring) or completely naked with someone, that they start the night in DEFECIT to the club as they have to pay for the opportunity to dance there and the first dances you do are just to break even (one of the girls I spoke to had to do five BEFORE SHE MADE ANY MONEY WHICH SHE FINALLY DID ON THE SIXTH DANCE), the guys often put pressure on them to let them touch them or perform sexual acts and due to the competitive nature of what they are doing/the need to get out of defecit can end up doing this to get more private dances bought/regular punters, and are often talked to in horribly insulting/degrading ways by the men, which was utterly depressing and hideous.
Yes some girls at some clubs might be looked after/earn a lot but a lot of girls at a lot of clubs are earning shit all and being abused, drinking or taking drugs to cope.
I'm glad for your friends if they escaped unscathed but I really don't think it's the norm.
I won't get into the wider impact of how this commodification impacts on the way men view women generally but I really think it's worth doing some research before you blindly blah on about how strip clubs aren't that big a deal.
OP - I'm sorry your partner has been such a lying shit. 