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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My partner has left me and my 2 boys this morning

519 replies

DickCrack · 08/03/2014 09:58

It's been coming a while. 1 shag in 3 years lots if rows. This morning I found loads of dirty texts he sent to another woman. He's gone now. Ds 5 witnessed a lot of my upset this morning. I'm ashamed. What do I do?

OP posts:
Hissy · 10/04/2014 14:23

PLEASE, SWITCH OFF THE PHONE AND STOP CALLING HIM.

he's crying to get you to STFU and go back.

it's ALL about HIM and you are falling for it.

so come on, fuck him and focus on those who really matter.

DickCrack · 10/04/2014 15:37

Ok. Hair turned out nice. Hairdresser had her ear chewed off! Calmer. Don't really understand what happened there. Embarrassed myself - sorry x

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 10/04/2014 16:23

Very glad your hair turned out nicely.
Don't apologise - you have nothing to apologise for.
You are dealing with and coping with major emotions right now.
Give yourself a break.

Hissy · 10/04/2014 16:40

yep, don't ever apologise! you have every right to every single one of your emotions.

All we suggest is to limit contact with him so that you don't find yourself losing it to him and giving him a gift wrapped opportunity to label you as the unreasonable one.

Think dignity, think SWAN.

DickCrack · 10/04/2014 17:10

I feel utterly defeated and rejected today. I asked him again why he did it, he will only converse via text. This was his response:
Because I was weak and selfish. Not because you did anything wrong. I thought I could run my love for my family alongside emotionally meaningless pleasure and keep them separate. She expressed an interest in me and I was flattered. I felt like it was good for my ego. I did get pleasure from you and the boys. Just a different kind.
What does all that mean???

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 10/04/2014 20:15

It means he is going to get his arse kicked when she reads it and realises that she is the "emotionally meaningless pleasure"!

It means that thought he wouldnt get caught and is now regretting his actions. Tbh, I think this is probably the truth. He thought he could have some fun on the side, you would never know and he could have the best of both worlds. He didnt count on you finding out and her being a fruitloop!

DickCrack · 10/04/2014 20:22

It's not an apology though bogey, is it? He says he's made a mistake, but then he says she was the symptom not the cause. Is there any sense in me understanding this? I don't know what is compelling me to keep digging. It's over. I don't want him back.

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 10/04/2014 20:24

No it isnt an apology and you will probably never get one. But this is as close to the truth as you will probably get.

You asked why, he told you, I think you need to leave it now because there is nothing more he can tell you. He has basically admitted that he was a weak and selfish man who thought he could have his cake and eat it.

DickCrack · 10/04/2014 20:30

I know. Perhaps I'm not wanting the details of why really. I think I'm still wanting him to break down, apologise properly, then I can move on.
I think it's that he's just walked away, he's still at work, he sees the boys for the fun stuff, he's free every evening, he doesn't have to sleep with two small upset boys. I didn't do anything wrong, and I'm left with it all, and an ill dad, and a feeling of utter rejection.

OP posts:
Hissy · 10/04/2014 20:35

I seem to have some kind of filter on today.

I read the text he's written, and all I see that he's said to you Dick is this:

"Me me me me me, mememememe. Me me me meme, me me me...."

He did it because he wanted to.

Hissy · 10/04/2014 20:38

Dick, soon you will see that getting hoim out of your life is a good thing!

You get to comfort your boys and show them how good it is to treat yourself with kindness, and to expect others to treat you with respect.

Show them that being a man is not about making Mum cry. It's about seeing mum for the caring, loving woman she is.

You will get through this. You'll thrive. You'll see!

DickCrack · 10/04/2014 20:40

Hissy, I re read it. You are right. He doesn't give a fuck about me does he? 13 years, two children, one of which nearly killed me giving birth to, mortgage, holidays planned, the full works - and he didn't actually give a fuck for the last 3 years at least about me.

OP posts:
Hissy · 10/04/2014 21:58

Love, rephrase that please.

He doesn't give a fuck about anyone else besides himself

It's not a slight or indictment on you, he doesn't think about anyone other than himself.

You can't change this, this is not any sign at all of anything the matter with you!

In fact... the reason you and he have gone on this long is because YOU have dug deep, put up with him, and forgiven him.

You put in the hard work, he's just taken the piss.

You can make things work. He can only destroy.

DickCrack · 10/04/2014 22:19

Thank you hissy xx

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 10/04/2014 23:43

Hissy is right.

He doesnt give a shit about anyone other than himself, which means that he also doesnt give a shit about her. Worth remembering when she is kicking off again Wink

MrsC1969HJ · 11/04/2014 09:49

Hope you're feeling better today Dick...I feel your rage, I have the same days sometimes! There is nothing I can add to the very wise postings above, you know all of this is true, you know he is just weak, selfish and self centred, you know that it is WE who get the blame for their behaviour. It's just tragic, it really is. I got a pitiful email from my H yesterday begging for more access, "I know you hate me"...oh fuck off you prick. See, I'm getting all ragey now Grin. Keep on girl, you can do it and are doing amazingly well!!!

Hissy · 11/04/2014 13:49

It's OK to rage. essential even... just not at them every time.
it won't do them any harm to tell them to FTFO every so often, and to show them how much you hate them for hurting you as much as they did, but try to remain as controlled as possible.

I find Ice Cold Fury is the best place to get to, shows that you wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire, but means you don't get to wear the Crazy Bitch Ex badge.

My ex was abusive, not adulterous, but the rage is the same somehow, it's a betrayal I think, the realisation that it was all about them and not us, and when we are left feeling beyond foolish, it hurts. As I said though, its not our fault they were bastards. They chose to do what they did, for whatever reason. My dad cheated on my mum when I was a teenager and ultimately chose his OW over the whole family. I don't speak to him anymore, there is no point. I know this stuff hurts like nothing else. betrayal is betrayal.

You are BOTH doing so well and I hope you can see that it WILL get just a little less gut wrenchingly painful day by day. You will get through this and you will both be stronger and better people on the other side of this.

hellsbellsmelons · 11/04/2014 14:11

I hope today is a better day and I really hope you have a nice weekend planned!
Thinking of you.

DickCrack · 13/04/2014 17:53

Another text from his sister. I've not replied. I think I should just ignore it. But posting it here in case anyone has any better ideas.
I've been a little better though yesterday when he dropped ds2 off the front door slammed as back door open, he immediately interpreted this as me slamming the door on him and actually punched it. That shook me up a bit.
I have spent the weekend cleaning, sorting, gardening. Home looking nice :-)
Have treated me and the boys to frozen on DVD and an early Easter egg for tonight.
I'm off to the seaside to my friends again on Tuesday, going to be nice to be away.

Hi heard ypur dad had been in hospital, hope he is feelng better.
Can I ask u to have another think about letting the boys come up for mums 70th on Tuesday? I appreciate you're hurt and angry but I don't see why that should stop us seeing them. Mum is devastated that her big day is ruined, especially as you told her you'd think about Ds1 come. My dh and I are too, we'd taken holidays from work to spend time with them.

OP posts:
ohldoneedtogetagrip · 13/04/2014 18:00

Dick you have not ruined MIL big day, you ex has. Do not be emotionally blackmailed by her, you are not emotionally strong enough to deal with all the family shit too at this moment.
If you don't want to let the boys go-they don't go, simples !!
You could reply to SIL that although at this time you are not willing to let the boys go to the 70th they are more than welcome to come visit you and the boys at your home. Lets see just how keen she is to see them.

Tiredstilltired · 13/04/2014 18:04

Who will take them to mil and for how long? Is it a day your dh would have them.
I wound say no. These are the consequences of her do behaviour. You are no longer a 'family' and it us early days. You need to set boundaries with his family too.

Hissy · 13/04/2014 18:23

No reply. Leave it alone.

What you do or don't do with your DC is no concern of his family.

If this wasn't emotional blackmail, it'd be, can we help? Are you Ok? They'd be inviting you and telling him to ftfo.

This is so all about them, and not about you, it deserves no time wasted at all on it.

Delete the text and don't give it another thought.

You've all got plans now anyway.

My nan sided with my mother, against her own son when he cheated on mum and left. Shame on your in-laws. How dare they pay lip service to your considerable pains and think only of themselves.

DickCrack · 13/04/2014 18:42

Thank you.
They live 300 miles away so it would be a trip of at least 5 days. The thought of being so far away from my boys scares me at the moment, particularly as there doesn't appear to be any recognition of what they have been through. I never said ds1 could go alone, the boys are inseparable and have been even closer since that twat left, I'd never leave one behind without the other.
All I've heard from him and his family is me me me. It's laughable, pathetic, ridiculous.
I could send some cutting replies. But perhaps simply ignoring it will be better? At least I won't need to ever see or speak to those people again. Will I?

OP posts:
LavenderGreen14 · 13/04/2014 18:44

I agree, ignore. It does feel like she is trying to emotionally blackmail you into letting them go. It is a great distance, and like you say they are hardly supportive or thinking of you and how you may be feeling in all of this.

IrianofWay · 13/04/2014 18:52

She err it the days off work are to celebrate the 'big day' not just see the boys. There is no room for 'but' in the sentence that begins 'I appreciate you're hurt and angry....' what she really means 'I don't care about you, what we want matters most.'