Well I've not been on this thread much but thought i'd pop in and have a quick read. It's like a ruddy minefield isn't it. I am an older lady so have been mainly meeting up with guys in their fifities. There are still immature little shits amongst them!
I've sort of decided to give it a rest for a few weeks now anyway.
One thing that has been the case with me is that I know pretty much within minutes if its a no goer. On more than one occasion I've sent a text from the car park of the pub saying thanks but no thanks. Not very nice i know, so normally do it the next day. However, I confess a couple of times just not responding after a while as I just didn't really know what to say. I haven't suffered any stalkers or anything like that though.
I have been seeing a guy casually since January though. Found him attractive from the outset but having just had a rather disastrous, albeit passionate, fling with someone am being much more circumspect. I will admit that the fling was with someone that I already know slightly and it went up a notch much too quickly and then all went horribly wrong. Left me feeling pretty bruised and aware that I had rebounded.
Anyway back to the guy I first met in January. We have seen each other about 5 times. Not a lot is it? Normally a meal but a couple of times just drinks. He seems to be away on business trips a lot so would go at least a week to two weeks in between seeing him. Circumstances meant that he met my daughter briefly a couple of weeks ago and I met one of his daughters. That seemed to be OK but then he sent a text suggesting our two daughters hooked up on Twitter and now they seem firm friends. Our texting has always been a bit flirty (on his part as I said I'm being a bit circumspect now) and we normally have a bit of snog at the end of the evening but nothing more. I have felt over the last week he was trying to notch it up a bit and got a bit more suggestive in his text messages. On that basis I've been trying to maintain a bit of distance as I'm truly not ready to go any further with it. I also feel he is playing the field a bit. I've noticed that he's been on the dating web site that we met through a lot more recently. To be fair so have I. I think this is drifting apart time. I think I'm right to be avoiding to be honest. He made it clear at the outset that he didn't want to get straight into a serious relationship at this stage as he hadn't long split from a relationship that happened pretty soon after his marriage broke up. I said I felt the same and we should just have some fun.
What does that mean to others? By fun I mean going out for dinner and drinks now and then. I don't intend shagging someone that I'm pretty sure isn't going to be serious about a relationship with me and is still shopping around, but i'm pretty sure that's what he was hoping for last week when he suggested 'popping in for a coffee on the way through'. Or am I being oversensitive?
My inclination is to stick to the plan and carry on as normal and remain out of it for a while. I'm pretty sure I'm right.