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Original poster

The Dating Thread 71

999 replies

TheCrow · 07/03/2014 21:54

Welcome to all daters :)

OP posts:
Jarlin · 22/03/2014 16:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep · 22/03/2014 16:14

Hi minime85

I'm interested in the fact that you said seeing someone 7 years younger than you makes you feel old. I thought it would've done the opposite! Can I ask how old you are...is the 85 your year of birth?

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep · 22/03/2014 16:15

This is it olympic Grin!

Jarlin · 22/03/2014 16:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oldfashionedgirl · 22/03/2014 16:18

Rosen I was shaking with nerves before my date. Could hardly speak! I survived though and each date since has been easier.

Blossom How disappointing. It would be so much easier if people would just be straightforward.

Jarlin Sounds like you had a lovely evening - romantic!

Crow It does sound like he has changed his mind on the not being serious thing. Skipping straight into comfortable sounds familiar but I quite like it and find it nice to not have that stress and pressure to be always trying to be exciting.

Are butterflies an essential?

FolkGirl · 22/03/2014 16:31

Hi

Well I'm back. We met for lunch and spent 2 hours with him, which I think is long enough really for a first meeting.

They seemed to get on ok, he and my son chatted; he thought my daughter was cute and he liked his badges Grin

I think it was a success. All feels a bit odd now. I think I was more nervous than anyone!!

rosenylund · 22/03/2014 16:43

Thanks all - I've just confirmed so I guess I'm going.

Folk I read your earlier posts, it sounds like you've had a really nice, positive afternoon :)

louby44 · 22/03/2014 17:33

rosen have a lovely time and shall look forward to your update later

Hormonalhell · 22/03/2014 19:36

Hi all was wondering if could get some advice?

Had 3 meetings with a guy I met on pof. Really like him, feel like we on same page etc but only thing that worries me is he only 3 month out of a long term relationship and although she left him for another man I worry he going to take her back. He says he won't and hates her for what she's done but wondering if I'm going to get my heart broken Hmm

Any views/advice?

tiredandsadmum · 22/03/2014 19:44

my own view is that it is very early stages for him. He can hardly have started dealing emotionally with the end of his relationship before he has started seeing you. You could end up being a rebound; he may not go back to his ex but the journey could put you and he in a different place. I would personally be very wary. There was a wonderful conversation up thread which talked about getting out of a relationship what you put in and putting in what you get out. I would want to put in and invest very little at this stage.

Minime85 · 22/03/2014 19:50

mychild no I'm 36 (8 and 5 were ages of my kids when joined mnet Smile ) he says its not an issue I guess I just feel closer to 40 than 30!

second date Monday. this sounds ridiculous but have no idea how I approach the kiss let along anything else. any helpful advice? god I feel about 15 again.

Hormonalhell · 22/03/2014 20:46

Thanks Tired, yes I think you are right I'm very wary of where it's going to go Hmm

LizzieBelle · 22/03/2014 21:56

Thanks soft I know he is 'cheating' I just enjoy time with him, and I dont think I want to stop the companionship just yet :-( Ive just spent a miserable lonely day fretting and trying to justify shit that I shouldn't be trying to do.

jarlin your love life looks good, Im so pleased!

blossom hope you are OK - may join Tinder myself!!

Hormonal Read the rules and go slowly if you like him x

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 22/03/2014 22:01

Aww, Lizzie, we've all been in shit situations where we deserve better but it's hard to break free - in fact, I'm there now with MCS. However you deserve better than this: Ive just spent a miserable lonely day fretting and trying to justify shit that I shouldn't be trying to do

Hormonalhell · 22/03/2014 22:18

I'm glad things going well now Jarlin with Slowburner Smile

Lizzie, if u can handle it then why not eh?

My guy wants to take all the kids (we have 7 between us) to the park tomorrow Shock

louby44 · 22/03/2014 22:22

Oh my! 7 kids - now that will be interesting!

Hormonalhell · 22/03/2014 22:48

Two teenage girls and 5 boys, 3 of which under 5!!

Lord have mercy Grin

LizzieBelle · 22/03/2014 22:59

Im so glad my MN family are there for me Grin I don't feel like sharing with a girl friend in real life ATM. I feel so embarrassed about it all - I still don't see how he could log on after I left, and PAY to email women. Do you think I Should pay to message him and see what he says? Or just leave it?

Solasum · 22/03/2014 23:07

I vote leave it Lizzie. Would you ever trust hum again?

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 22/03/2014 23:25

Lizzie No, don't pay to message him. I mean, what would you do if he replied, and wanted to meet up? You'd still end up confronting him about this at some point, right? Get a screen grab of the message to your friend so he can't deny it, then sit down and have an adult discussion about why he's doing it and what he feels about your relationship (sorry, but it's probably not much if he's messaging other women).

Don't just bury your head in the sand because it'll tear you apart inside.

girliefriend · 23/03/2014 01:10

Hi everyone, just catching up quickly Smile

Folk I am really pleased to hear things are still going well and the meeting with the kids went well.

Likewise Jarlin glad things are still ticking along nicely.

Hormonal the chap I am seeing now was similar, his wife had only moved out 3 months before we met. My chap says however that the relationship had effectively been over a lot lot longer though. If you like him and its going well I would proceed with caution but keep an open mind!

Well talking of my chap - he has just left, I seem to be swinging between really liking him and having tons of doubts, it is very Confused He still occasionally comes out with things which I fundamentally disagree with and I wonder whether we will be compatible in the long term.

I have had a long week with my dd, she met Smallfeet for the second time last Sat, we kept it very easy - went to a craft fair and got some dinner. However she was very demanding of our attention the whole time and got very upset when me and SF held hands. She then had hysterics on Sun evening saying she doesn't want a dad, she doesn't want me to have any more babies and she doesn't want a man to be moving in!!

I obv did my best to reassure but it has made me anxious about the effect this is having on her. I would say it took till Wed for her to get back to her normal self. I spent today with her, just doing things she wanted to do but am going to pop over to SF for a couple of hours tomos morning....

Its so hard trying to get this right!

FolkGirl · 23/03/2014 06:19

rosen and girlie thanks.

girlie it's a really tough one, isn't it? How old is your daugher?

ThemanI'mseeing gave me a quick kiss when we got there but we were both more focused on the children than each other, which was nice. Then when we left, my son took my daughter back to the car while we said goodbye and he gave me a quick kiss again. When I got back to the car I found the little one had been laughing and saying "eww, do you think they're going to snog?" and other daftness! Grin

I don't think I'll be in a hurry to do it again though.

Hormonalhell · 23/03/2014 07:49

Folkgirl why would you not do it again? Sounds like everything went well.

Girliefriend yes trying to keep my feet on ground. Texting was intense last night though. We talked about having a weekend away and taking our brood camping. Just feel like it's all going to happen Smile

I'm kind of scared it's too good to be true but then I think...why not? I'm a good person I deserve somebody special and I really think he is

FolkGirl · 23/03/2014 08:05

hormonal Well only really because it wasn't something I wanted to do particularly in the first place. I had a horribly stressful few days in the run up to it; I completely over reacted to something my exH did because I was so fraught; and I nearly turned the car round and came home 3 times yesterday! I spent the whole 45 min drive with a horrible sick feeling in my stomach that it was a really big mistake...

I took them to meet him because we're going away together and I thought they should meet him first. But I don't really think there's any need to involve the children. It just doesn't feel necessary.

He did tell them he hoped he'd see them again before we left.

I'd never say never, but at the same time, I don't think it's something I'd plan on doing. I suppose it would make it easier to occasionally see him on the weekends I have my children with me, but even so... Just doesn't feel right.

My exH said I'd be being a martyr if I didn't do it and the children would want to see me happy, but children don't think like that, do they?

FolkGirl · 23/03/2014 08:06

why not? I'm a good person I deserve somebody special and I really think he is

Absolutely! It sounds like you're going to have your hands full though... Grin

I hope the trip to the park goes well.

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