The Dating Thread 71

[TheCrow]

Welcome to all daters :)

hello and you saw him for what reason?

Bant that sounds really good, was wondering where you'd disappeared to!

Jarlin glad you had a nice birthday :) Things are going ok with Mr Blanket, seen him a few times. He's not a core shaker but it's nice to have some company. Still can't see wanting a relationship with him, or anyone for that matter!

Sounds like things are going well with various dates which is good to read....and dont you definitely need to keep reading your list.

advice again please anyone - I met a guy last Thursday, he took my number, and we arranged to go out this evening for a drink. Haven't had much contact, and I am a little wary - new to all this etc etc....It's now nearly 3.30pm and I haven't yet heard from him about this evening - any details, where we are going etc. What is 'normal' - should I expect him to call me? I have cold feet a bit tbh, perhaps he has too?

We did say this evening, so if it was a friend, I would sort of assume it is happening and we will just speak even if it's not until 6/7pm, do same rules apply or should I expect him to contact me before then? Or should I contact him? (But I haven't because of the cold feet!) !! Not sure what to do!!

Datingnewbie I would definitely send him a text asking if he was still on for meeting up later...something like "hey, just checking to see if we're still on for tonight?" Bright and breezy enough..I wouldn't wait around all afternoon to see if he contacts you.

If you're not too keen on meeting him then don't bother texting, if he contacts you before tonight I think you'd be well within your rights to tell him you'd made other plans as you hadn't heard from him.

thanks...i think i will wait and see if I hear from him. Maybe he also has cold feet....I reckon he thought I was younger than I am, and perhaps when he got a bit closer he realised...and now he isn't that interested!!

Blossom that's the thing - first off like 3-4 dates in and certainly 2nd date (1st date was fine) I was like... "No, not for me" but he grew on me. I think he thought he would grow on me.

I liked the attention, liked him but I got the feeling from what he and his friends said that I was a bit out of his league. In fact it was almost opposites attract. Maybe I should have seen the warning signs. He is/was quite endearing.

Bant, I agree with Hello, it's refreshing to hear from a guy who isn't just messing women around.

Hello, Kent Boy sounds awful, I think you are well shot, although it's hard to feel like that when you're in the depths. Hopefully the list helps.

Datingnewbie, I think I'd wait to hear from him, particularly as you're not that fussed.

I am getting myself in a muddle over a guy I met on Tinder. We've had 2 dates and got on well and he's supposed to be coming round tomorrow. He's been reasonably upfront about being open to a relationship but it would have to be pretty amazing as he's used to being on his own (longest rship 6 months). We have been having lots of texts and calls and yesterday I sent him a pic of me and DD (18 mths) on our day out. He replied 'She is very young isn't she'. He already knew how old she was and has said he's fine with it though it's 'not ideal'. So I asked if it had freaked him out and he said no, don't worry. BUT I haven't heard from him at all today which is v unusual and I haven't texted him because mine was the last text and we usually follow a pattern and now if feels odd to txt him.

Sorry for long spiel, am thinking that he is freaked out by DD and I should just forget it because it's simply too much hassle.

And now it's making me miss Mr Supermarket, who only finished things because his ex before me turned up pregnant.

I have a date tomorrow evening with a nice looking fellow. Saturday evening I have an early date with a nice looking (younger) chap. Sunday lunchtime I have a date with a chap I REALLY like the sound and look of (I posted about him a couple of pages back and he ain't pretty but I am soooo attracted to him).

I've never had this before. When I was on POF last year it was abysmal. I think I made the mistake of focussing on one chap at a time and missed other opportunities (or something). It's ok, isn't it, to have a mass dating weekend? No-one's made any promises to anyone, right?

Hey I got a message today! From someone who isn't 5000 miles away. On OKC you can look at the questions they've answered and apparently he thinks women have an obligation to keep their legs shaved. NEXXXXT!

Shell Sorry but he sounds like an idiot. What kind of man says your child 'is not ideal'? If he knew upfront about her than he's got no room for complaint. And that's before he says he hints that he most likely doesn't want a relationship. I see a lot of red flags there I'm afraid. Look out for No1.

Coelacanth Multi dating is fine, in fact I think that's where I've gone wrong a bit - I should be doing the same rather than putting all my irons in one fire. Where on earth are you finding all these nice men?! I can hardly find any!

DatingNewbie Have you heard from him? If not, bin him off.

Softkitty I'm, ahem, older than you I suspect - mid 50's nearly.

I don't know I can't explain it. However I completely changed my profile, dumped the studio pics for some my daughter took (I was def more relaxed and happy doing that) and hey presto. I think where i went wrong before was my profile didn't truly reflect me, I was trying to deliver something I thought would attract rather than the person I am (which would appear, ironically, to be more attractive).

Coelcanth, I think multiple dating is the way forward. Stops you getting hung up and you probably seem more attractive because of it as you're more casual.

Lois, ha! That would definitely be a NEXT for me too.

Softkitty, you're right, there's quite a few red flags. He has now texted explaining that he's had a crazy work day. It's tricky because I really am trying to use him to get over the guy I really liked but it's getting more complicated than I'd hoped!

So, I heard from the guy I was meant to see tonight, but I just didn't feel comfortable with what/where he suggested. I just felt odd because we haven't exchanged any texts or had a phonecall or anything, so I really know absolutely nothing about him. I said my babysitter has let me down. Lame I know, but I just didn't want to go. He said maybe tomorrow or next weekend...and I said busy tomorrow but yes maybe next weekend....hmmm....

Coelacanth mass dating weekend sounds like fun!! Go for it, and enjoy! I've spoken to 3 guys from tinder/pof in the last couple of days and am getting confused - how do you remember the right details about each guy?!

shellwedance I think forget him....this isn't a good sign now if he thinks your DD isn't 'ideal'!! I get pissed off if guys don't ask how old my kids are when I've mentioned I've got...

Datingnewbie, maybe you can try and build on the texts/calls before next wkend to see if you actually want to go? Absolutely agree on the not asking the child's name/age when you first mention them. This guy didn't... OMG I need to get rid!

Coelacanth Can I just ask in what way did you change your profile? I could do with doing mine. I'm early 40's and don't get much interest from decent men my age. Not sure what I'm doing wrong.

Shell Have you replied yet? I'd just be really casual and say something like 'Oh no worries, I've been really busy too, hardly sat down all day!' so he doesn't think you've been waiting for him to text.

I woke up at 5.35am this morning and checked Whatsapp on my phone but haven't been on agin today so it'll still say I was last online at 5.35am. Mr Teacher has just text asking who I was messaging at that time. Methinks he's a tad annoyed I'm not fawning all over him .

Haven't heard from MCS at all today. I'm not texting him, he can contact me. Anyway I'm busy painting my nails while watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Priorities, right?! .

Softkitty, yes I waited 2 hours to reply and then v casual, to which he replied straight away. I just hate all this game playing. The guy I was seeing before was so straightforward, just lovely, and we both thought this was it. Still finding it v unfair that I got no choice in things ending and now am having to wade through the dregs!

Sounds like you've got a couple of interesting options though? And your priorities absolutely sorted

MCS has just text the shortest message ever. He's been helping me with a job application and has emailed it back to me with a few comments. He's just text me to say he's just out but has sent my job stuff back. I don't know why but I feel insanely jealous and pissed off that he's out, especially as he hasn't been out with me for weeks. This is really pissing me off now. Feel hugely pissed off, in fact. He's probably on a date. Fucker.

Um, well it's hard to say exactly what I did.

I use humour when talking about my interests, things I've done and aspirations. Gave examples of stuff I like to do and see, like certain plays, or books.

I look HAPPY and confident in my photo's.

I didn't say what I"m looking for, nor did I list my likes and dislikes. I didn't 'ask' for an honest, respectful etc etc bloke. I didn't talk about my family, I talked about me. I described what I like to do, painted a picture of a scenario - "Work is important but so is other stuff, like Sunday morning breakfast in a cafe overlooking the sea, with the windows all steamed up".

My headline depicts who I think I am "somewhere between Mae West and Shirley Temple" (sassy, but girlie too and I have long curly hair).

That's what the blokes have responded to. In their droves, I have to say. Somehow this time I got it right.

Thanks, I'll give mine an overhaul this weekend I think. Need to get more irons in the fire so MCS doesn't affect me as much.

Just popping on to wish everyone a happy dating weekend, I'm away for a girly city break so I'll catch up next week.

I feel weird about this weekend, it was planned 2 months ago as a single girls weekend (we're heading to a cliché romantic city) and now neither of us are really single! It'll also be he first weekend since I started dating Niceguy that I won't see him. Last night we said that we are going to miss each other.

He's got those tickets to the gig that is too far in advance and breaks my planning ahead rule. He said that he'll officially tell me next week that he has them, as then it won't break the rule. I am finding that incredibly sweet. It's starting to hit home how much I like him. Still waiting for the catch!

Happy dating everyone!

Feel like cancelling my date with eco warrior tonight. Feel so low and confused.

don'tcallme please don't let the other one (geeky?) put you off tonight.

Go and enjoy with ecowarrior and no pressure. You never know if you'll like him or not if you don't give him a chance.

Ps can you tell I'm over Kent Lad hardly thinking of him yay!

shellwe - my texts with Kent Lad beginning of this week were what confused but clarified things with me, it seemed to signal a cut off point from me and him and the list really did help.

Like I said before - I need to concentrate on men who are me and I like, not one like him whom I wanted to run away from on a 2nd date!

shellwe - from that man's 2 comments re your DD I'd run away like mad. Your DD has to come first and personally any men involved in dating should be very careful re her in what they say and do. I was very careful when speaking with/about Kent Lad's 13 year old DS.

The Supermarket guy sounds fine but he didn't have to leave just because ex turned up pregnant.